Skip to comments.Some Humor To Start Your Day!
Posted on 12/19/2009 2:46:55 AM PST by Wpin
Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes? A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.
Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment? A: It stands between him and the First.
Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp? A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.
Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama? A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth.
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser.
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? A: One's full of tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for prisoners.
Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer? A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: What's the difference between Simba and Obama? A: Simba is an African lion while Obama is a lyin' African.
Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved? A: America !!
Q: What do you call the US after four years of Obama and the Liberal congress? A: An Obama-nation.
Q: What's the difference between Obama and Hitler? A: Hitler wrote his own book.
Q: What's another difference between Obama and Hitler? A: Hitler got the Olympics to come to his country.
Q: Why doesn't Obama pray? A: It's impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.
- Barack Obama: He has what it takes, to take what you've got!
- Barack Obama's campaign slogan, "Yes we can" has become, "Yes you will!"
- No one wants to see GM's new convertible, the Pelosi, with its top down!
- The liberals have asked us to give Obama time. 25 to life seems appropriate.
- Obama doesn't want terrorists tortured. He wants to torture American taxpayers instead.
New Barack Channel (NBC) Another Barack Channel (ABC) My Seriously New Barack Channel (MSNBC)
A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this; "Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Plymouths, and I voted for Obama."
You smiled, I know you did.
I thought you said that there were jokes here.
“I thought you said that there were jokes here.”
“Even people who have no sense of humor think that they have a sense of humor” Steve Martin...from My Blue Heaven
my comment was a play on #1
“my comment was a play on #1”
I was kidding around and bringing in another joke...I should have added a :)
A: God does not think he's Obama.
Of course the problem with the last one is that the kool-aid drinkers will never admit that they made a mistake.
Funny stuff keep 'em coming.
Certainly not openly, but have you seen an Obama sticker on a car lately? I haven't. I figure there has been a run on razor blades.....
No ABC acronym?? ABC has an ofice in the WHite House!
“No ABC acronym?? ABC has an ofice in the WHite House!”
I apologize... ABC = All Barack Channel
A: Neither has a birth certificate.
I see Obama stickers all over the place.
Where do you live, San Francisco?
I was in Atlanta last week, no shortage of Liberals down that way and Obamalamadingdong stickers, previously everywhere you looked earlier this year when I last visited, were curiously absent this time. I'll be in Nashville on Monday and I'm going to keep my eyes open and see if it's a trend....
I still see a great many Obama stickers on cars during commuting hours. It rarely fails that the occupant of the car looks like a government employee (teacher, state dept of xxxx worker). It would figure that would be the case when there’s a boon of government jobs.
I live in Virginia (Mark Warner Country) and I still see quite a few.
Thanks! I passed this on!
In my neck of the woods it is considered acceptable behavior, bordering on mandatory, to point and laugh when you look over at the occupants of a vehicle adorned with an Obama sticker....
I live near Asheville NC, admittedly a hotbed of leftism but the small town I live in is pretty conservative.
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse get's the cheese
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend.....but she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever......so far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?