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How To Tell If You Would Make A Good Taliban Recruit.
?
Posted on 01/04/2010 2:00:40 PM PST by MindBender26
"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF...."
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
11. Your cousin is president of the United States
TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: alqaeda; islam; muslim; rop; taliban
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!
To: MindBender26
Oh man! I struck out big-time there. I mean I also tried to win the lottery, but I didn’t do any good there either... LOL...
2
posted on
01/04/2010 2:02:00 PM PST
by
Star Traveler
(Remember to keep the Messiah of Israel in the One-World Government that we look forward to coming)
To: MindBender26
3
posted on
01/04/2010 2:07:38 PM PST
by
TheWriterTX
(I am a Declarationist!)
To: MindBender26
4
posted on
01/04/2010 2:07:40 PM PST
by
TheWriterTX
(I am a Declarationist!)
To: Star Traveler; stephenjohnbanker
My dryer can wind up sheets pretty well for hats, does that count? ;-)
To: MindBender26
12) If you are constantly followed by flys and predator drones - you might be a Taliban.
13) If the key to middle management in your company is avoiding martyrdom - you might be a Taliban.
14) When asking why none of your cousins are at the family reunion and your aunt answers, children blow up so fast these days - you might be a Taliban.
6
posted on
01/04/2010 2:10:42 PM PST
by
GonzoGOP
(There are millions of paranoid people in the world and they are all out to get me.)
To: 1776 Reborn
I’m sure that dryer is now on a no-fly list... :-)
7
posted on
01/04/2010 2:12:23 PM PST
by
Star Traveler
(Remember to keep the Messiah of Israel in the One-World Government that we look forward to coming)
To: MindBender26; ImaTexan
Great one! Sent to all on my email list.
8
posted on
01/04/2010 2:15:47 PM PST
by
bjcintennessee
(Don't Sweat the Small Stuff)
To: MindBender26; ImaTexan
Great one! Sent to all on my email list.
9
posted on
01/04/2010 2:15:59 PM PST
by
bjcintennessee
(Don't Sweat the Small Stuff)
To: MindBender26; ImaTexan
Great one! Sent to all on my email list.
10
posted on
01/04/2010 2:16:17 PM PST
by
bjcintennessee
(Don't Sweat the Small Stuff)
To: windcliff
11
posted on
01/04/2010 2:17:30 PM PST
by
stylecouncilor
(What Would Jim Thompson Do?)
To: All
oops! It wouldn’t send, so I kept clicking — sorry all.
12
posted on
01/04/2010 2:17:51 PM PST
by
bjcintennessee
(Don't Sweat the Small Stuff)
To: MindBender26
13
posted on
01/04/2010 2:22:09 PM PST
by
Cicero
(Marcus Tullius)
To: GonzoGOP
(15) You are ‘hung’ (with explosive force) like a 105 howitzer.
14
posted on
01/04/2010 2:24:22 PM PST
by
Kartographer
(".. we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.")
To: MindBender26
Why Jihadists are bad:
-They don't love Jesus
-They don't love their mommas
-They don't love dogs.
-They don't love pork loins or ribs
15
posted on
01/04/2010 2:24:51 PM PST
by
MuttTheHoople
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9c/TeddyVWad.jpg)
To: GonzoGOP
16
posted on
01/04/2010 2:24:57 PM PST
by
Bigg Red
(Palin/Hunter 2012 -- Bolton their Secretary of State)
To: Cicero
LMAO...I needed a laugh today (and I need to lose most of my *ss, but tomorrow’s another day!)
SZQ
17
posted on
01/04/2010 2:28:27 PM PST
by
homegroan
(ZQczar...happily addicted to the Refresh Button.....)
To: All
Goat? Cousin in the US? Oh? They mean the cab driver in, “Don’t Mess with the Zohan”
18
posted on
01/04/2010 2:32:50 PM PST
by
BigEdLB
(Now there ARE 1,000,000 regrets - but it may be too late.)
To: GonzoGOP
These are just getting better.
To: MindBender26
12. You can floss your teeth (or tooth) with a #2 Pencil
20
posted on
01/04/2010 2:34:22 PM PST
by
scottdeus12
(Jesus is real, whether you believe in Him or not.)
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