Skip to comments.Many 'Successful' Gay Marriages Share an Open Secret (promiscuity, infidelity common)
Posted on 01/29/2010 12:04:49 PM PST by DesertRenegade
When Rio and Ray married in 2008, the Bay Area women omitted two words from their wedding vows: fidelity and monogamy.
I take it as a gift that someone will be that open and honest and sharing with me, said Rio, using the word open to describe their marriage.
Love brought the middle-age couple together they wed during Californias brief legal window for same-sex marriage. But they knew from the beginning that their bond would be forged on their own terms, including what they call play with other women.
As the trial phase of the constitutional battle to overturn the Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage concludes in federal court, gay nuptials are portrayed by opponents as an effort to rewrite the traditional rules of matrimony. Quietly, outside of the news media and courtroom spotlight, many gay couples are doing just that, according to groundbreaking new research.
A study to be released next month is offering a rare glimpse inside gay relationships and reveals that monogamy is not a central feature for many. Some gay men and lesbians argue that, as a result, they have stronger, longer-lasting and more honest relationships. And while that may sound counterintuitive, some experts say boundary-challenging gay relationships represent an evolution in marriage one that might point the way for the survival of the institution.
New research at San Francisco State University reveals just how common open relationships are among gay men and lesbians in the Bay Area. The Gay Couples Study has followed 556 male couples for three years about 50 percent of those surveyed have sex outside their relationships, with the knowledge and approval of their partners.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
They don’t want to be “married”.
They want to destroy the concept of marriage, the one stated as “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24)
The whole thing is both disgusting and disturbing. I feel like I need to go bathe after reading it.
What’s the point of calling it marriage? Sounds like an orgy to me.
Sort of like, “it’s not prostitution if you don’t get paid”.
So maybe fidelity ought to be easier for homosexual men? Seeing as they tend to die twenty years earlier than the rest of us? Fallacious nonsense, all the way through.
Well if marriage is defined as being one man and one woman, and you disregard that, then most surely you can disregard all of the other things that describe marriage as well.
Then what’s the purpose of marriage in the first place?...............
This is why we need civil unions. If we’re just going to talk about marriage as a contract, then anyone should be able to enter into that contract as a civil union. If we’re going to talk about MARRIAGE, that’s more than just two people sharing a fridge.
>> New research at San Francisco State University ..
I had enough when I saw where this “research’ came from. It;’s like climate research coming from University of East Anglia.
I think the story is dead wrong. Love did not bring these two middle aged freaks together. It was Lust.
It will be lust that eventually will tears them apart.
When you are married you stay Monogamous with one woman or man ,and things are fine. When one or the other strays it is because something is missing or one thinks that the grass is greener somewhere else.
When you are sampling this grass, sooner or later you will find that greener grass, or you will think you have and then the marriage is over.
Why work out marital problems with your significant other, if you know there is another significant other down the street that you have been humping.
Relationships have to have trust, and there can be no trust when you are passing out your charms down the street.
The people in this story are not in Love, they are merely confortable right now. It won’t last.
Wow. I wonder how many heterosexual women find that their marriage has been strengthened by the discovery that hubby has been cheating? Real marriage is largely meant to protect children and make them legitimate and secure, as well as to protect both men and women. A man's interests are disastrously violated if he is forced to support another man's children. Since reproduction is impossible for homosexuals, they really don't need marriage.
This is about changing the meaning of words - it’s like women insisting that she be called “men” - that that is the only way she can get her civil rights.
It’s absurd, petulant, intellectually dishonest and harmful.
I'd be beside myself with gratitude if someone pointing a gun at me said "I'm going to kill you" before they pulled the trigger.
I guess some people feel like they be grateful for whatever they can get.
That doesn't mean the rest of us should be forced to celebrate it.
For them, it's for the money.
Mr. Quirk you are an IDIOT. If you made it to marriage in 1900, median age for women marrying back then was 22, your life expectancy was you would live another 44 years. The whole life expectancy was only 47 back then was due to high infant mortality rates.
. . .which is why Government needs to get out of the “marrying” business.
Set up your civil union as you see fit, but CHURCHES control marriage. And like Hebrew National Hot Dogs. . .they answer to a slightly higher authority. . .
“I Now Pronounce You Chick and Mary”.
They want to destroy the concept of marriage, the one stated as For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. (Gen 2:24)
You are quite correct. The idea by the left is to always enter by the backdoor if need be to destroy long held Christian Traditions(marriage,Christmas,,Crosses,Ect). And then they will set their sights on the main object of their hatred, the Church. The Church is the one thing actually left standing in their way to being considered as normal as Heterosexuals.That’s the goals Folks.
I can’t remember the source but a few years ago there was a study that found the average gay male had an avg of 2000 sex partners.
It is clear that the intent of gay marriage is to destroy traditional marriage. It is stated clearly by “hoping” that the boundary-challenging relationships will spill over to heterosexual marriage. Just what we need; more challenging of the boundaries of marriage. sheesh.
That transparency can make relationships stronger, said Joe Quirk, author of the best-selling relationship book Its Not You, Its Biology.
At least, his name is what I call “truth in advertising.”
I believe it was a Center for Disease Control study that found that homesexual men AVERAGED about 50 different sexual partners a year.
Now there’s no way to know how many of these men might be in a ‘committed relationship’ but surely a lot of them are.
Call it “open marriage”, call it “play” but it still boils down to a completely different view of relationships while they are tryin to propagandize the straight world that they are ‘just like everyone else.”
Like who knew? This is like the disguised polygamy that has been practiced during the centuries. where the guy had a wife and kids, who were the “real family,” but who had multiple women on the side. Except that the law refused to recognize the right of the husband to have sex with these women and therefore
treated any progeny as illegitimate and denied the concubine any rights in his estate. But at least this does not challenge the principle of monogamy as gay marriage does. The gays do an argument: is what they do any more corrosive of monogamy than the serial polygamy of no-fault divorce and co-habitation really that much more than gay marriage?
Does the IRS recognize gay marriage for the tax deduction?.............
No matter whether “gay” or “straight”, I have always believed that “happiness” in infidelity reflects (a) individual selfishness and narcissism and (b) weaknesses in the individuals involved and NOT an instance of their overcoming an intrinsic weakness in monogamy.
If only we could deny monogamy - the legal recognition of it, and legal benefits of it - due to infidelity, consensual or not, “heterosexual” or not.
Monogamy takes the self-obsessed interest out of sex and sexual relations, providing a home for them based on something greater than the self - the uniting of the human personality - mental, physical, emotional and spiritual - in (a) a love for another who shares that same love for us and (b)a relationship that unites the two in that love and amounts to and provides more than the sum of the parts.
Monogamy is all about that united self. Infidelity reflects the divided self; the self where life and loyalty is divided in the core element of Love. It is no mystery why monogamy was increasingly favored in conjunction with monotheistic religion - one God, one love - one mate, one love.
Monogamy was part of every civilization that led us into greater and greater progress.
the leftists think of religion and family as artificial institutions like the corporations rather than foundations of civil society. They want to tear these down so as to reduce society to little more a collection of individuals who whose only loyalty is to the state.
What absolutely vomitous bilge! I doubt that even gay-"marriage" advocates believe that.
So aside from fidelity, procreation, and a committed spiritual bond, what they have is exactly the same as a real marriage.
And aside from its dryness, dirt is exactly the same as water.
My belief is that quick gratification of lust is the basis of faggotry in men, and fear and loathing of men the basis for lesbianism.
“Whats the point of calling it marriage? Sounds like an orgy to me.”
It’s all about getting free benefits from the government and your employer.
The basic Orgasm is the same whether accomplished through hetero or homosexual methods. It is easier to talk to ones own gender, and once it is established that sex is the object ,it is much quicker and easier to just get it on instead of playing dating games.
Laziness accounts for a lot of it, when it comes to men
I have talked to a couple of Lesbians and the theme is usually a father or some man who has abused them.
Of course there are those who will claim both of us are full of crap.
Today's younger generation doesn't appear to be stifled with the older generations taboo's. They seek the Orgasm wherever it comes and could care less who it is with. Today's morals have broken down, and sexual pleasure is the aim. Movies and the celebrities seem to be setting the trend. Rosie, Ann Heche, Many of the older male celebrities were dabbling in Homosexuality, Through the years the old morals have gradually been beaten back and anything goes.
Oral and anal sex are more the norm now than not engaging in such acts. Certainly it existed back when Grandma was around,but Grandpa didn't get much of it. It doesn't take much of a jump to go from Oral and Anal sex with a different gender than to engage in such acts with the same.
Again I will probably be called full of crap for my views, but ,hey ,isn't that what opinions are?
Are you serious? This is beyond disgusting.They deserve every STD they get.
And they want to bring children into this mix.
If I were to tell a home study social worker that my husband and I were in an “open” marriage, a child would never be placed in my home. However, with a study saying 50% of gay couples are living in an “open” relationship, they are still allowed to adopt and foster.
I really don’t care what adults do. But, children should not be brought into this. They need stability, not this chaos.
Late Bookmark... missed this article first time around.