Skip to comments.Of expressive divorces and stolen childhoods
Posted on 05/06/2010 6:44:04 PM PDT by AustralianConservative
No-fault divorces have (as predicted) scarred millions of children across the West. But dont expect radical feminists and adults-only libertarians to say sorry. Theyre never wrong. Or as Barbara Dafoe Whitehead put it in The Divorce Culture: Rethinking Our Commitments to Marriage and Family, A culture of divorce soothes children with antidepressants, consoles them with storybooks on divorce, and watches over their lives from family court.
One serious problem: Our contemporary secular thinking about marriage is a blend of psychotherapy and politics, and its language is one of rights and needs.
(Excerpt) Read more at menzieshouse.com.au ...
Liberalism is anti God, anti family and anti America. It's the bane of civilization.
I had never read the term ‘expressive divorce’ but I suspect that it points to what I find most disturbing about the ‘must-self-actualize-myself’ divorces. The elevation of an adult’s exploration desires over the well being of the children.
I was crushed to hear my friend describe a newish ritual designed to ‘help’ children accept divorce. The parents have a divorce ceremony at home, in front of the kids. In her case, she and her husband each spoke and then formally removed their rings. She said ‘we were all crying, it was very emotional, but if we hadn’t done it, the divorce would have taken place entirely outside of the view of the children and they would keep hoping that maybe mom and dad would get back together. This way, they know it’s really over.’
Well, it just sounds so terribly painful. This is meant to help but HOW can it help? I know my friend was trying to help her kids but the very idea of performing this ‘end’ in front of the kids sounds damaging and I hope I am 100% wrong about this and that it really did do something positive. ****shudder*** Talk about a pain bath for everyone involved. I think my friend will be scarred with the memory of that cermony, but she did it to help her kids adjust!
Decline of the West bookmark.
The sanctimoniously expressed duty of any out of sorts momma to punish dad with a divorce, confident, thanks to predatory lawyers, that a small child leaves her holding a royal flush against any responsible male, is a million after million after million story line in our culture.
Karl Marx complained that marriage was the original division of labor.
They're all alike. Elitist slugs with no moral compass.
Sure. Men are perfect, and women are eeeevil.
The children have no hope whatsoever. The best thing that can happen to them is a nuclear war which which wipes out all human life. That would be a gift from heaven.
Why are the large majority of divorces started by good,upstanding, loving wives that have a replacement “Daddy” lined up before the mean,ugly,repugnant husband is even served with the divorce papers?
I sometimes look at divorces filed in my local paper. It is very rare to see one where the action was started by the husband.
I would assume that women are more likely to leave a marriage if they think they love someone else, and are also more likely to initiate divorce if their husband is cheating. Many men are perfectly happy to stay married and cheat.
That doesn’t mean women are always at fault. I know from personal experience.
Surely you jest. Who do you think the husbands are cheating with if and when they do. Just because a wife accuses a husband of cheating means nothing. My fine ex wife had her legs wrapped around her husband to be before she started the divorce. I did not cheat on her. I guess you believe wives would never cheat or lie.
Some women are perfectly happy to stay married and cheat.
Oh, please. I refuse to accept that it’s always the woman’s fault, anymore than it is always the man’s fault. You woman haters always blame the woman.
And your “argument” ridiculous. It’s just as easy to ask who you think the the wives are cheating with. Anyway, I guess you’ve never heard of “single” people.
Yes I have, I was one twice in my life. I never messed around with married women. Do a little research unless you are afraid of the results. Who files for divorce more, men or women? The women I have known didn’t leave one nest until they had another one set up.
I am thru with you.
I have news for you. The world doesn’t revolve around you, and your “experience” is necessarily extremely limited.
“I have news for you. The world doesnt revolve around you, and your experience is necessarily extremely limited.”
His experience may be limited, but it is relavent to this thread. Why don’t you share your own personal experience, instead of attacking somebody for sharing theirs?
His experience isn’t limited.
Almost the same as mine with my last ex.
A totally meaningless statistic, but keep using it if it makes you feel better.
Wow, that is insane, just rip your kids heart out and be done with it
Radical feminism has done more to destroy our culture than any other problem
I already did say that I had the opposite experience, and maybe you should pay attention, as he started attacking me first.
Yes, some Leftists have been very open about that too.
I like the term must-self-actualize-myself divorces. It hits the nail on the head.
Dont get me started on lawyers! (LOL)
You are right. Marx did hate the Christian family. Whats more, when Red Russia opened up for business they endorsed anti-family parades down the streets, and were very pro-divorce.
Liberal birds of a feather
Sometimes the woman is to blame - sometimes the man. Many studies have rejected the myth that most married men are cheaters. Thats a bit harsh. It is shacking up that promotes cheating, according to the research Ive read.
Please tell me you don’t have any children. There’s nothing more frightening than a parent who believes that the death of his or her kids would be the best thing that can happen to them and would be a “gift from heaven”.
I am glad you think it is meaningless. You can ignore it if it makes you feel better. The proof is in the pudding. ;0)
I agree the impact of no-fault divorce has been terrible, especially on children, but as a practical matter I don’t see the usefulness of forcing two people to remain married when at least one of them doesn’t want to.
And while some consider no fault divorce a new phenomenon, the fact is, old Jewish law had no-fault divorce, though to be fair only the husband can exercise it. The concept has a several thousand year tradition. It’s not honest to lay this at the feet of feminists (though clearly, they and their leftist cohorts exploit the policy for their own political ends).
Don’t worry. I don’t have any children and never will. The future of every child alive today is more horrible than most can imagine. Can you see it? It is inescapable. Nobody can save them now.
What does the Bible say about that “old Jewish law”? I seem to remember something about divorce being allowed because of the hardness of people’s hearts.
Most divorces are initiated by women these day. In the past it was men who would initiate divorce. Yet another wonderful gift from feminism. A wife can feel out of sorts or that she can do better so she starts the divorce knowing she holds all the good cards. The more children the more good cards. Ex-husband= former sperm donor and present day gold mine
55% of today’s law school grads are women so this can only get worse
The man sometimes then decides to go outside marriage for sex. The wife immediately starts telling her friends about her mean old husband's cheating. The friends start watching the husband so they can help the poor wife. If the husband is caught, the dear distressed wife will file for divorce. I had that pulled on me. It really blew my ex’s mind when she discovered I wasn't unfaithful.
I thought this was common knowledge for anyone even casually familiar with comparative religions, but I suppose not.
You can read about Jewish law’s thousands of years tradition regarding no-faulkt divorce here:
I have very little interest in “Jewish Law” outside of what is my Bible. I am very interested in what it says.
My point was only that no fault divorce has a tradition longer than dating back to the 1960s, and can’t be laid at the feet of the feminists and their 1960s antics, though they certainly took advantage of it, for the worse.
Whether you are interested in the several thousand year Jewish tradition of no-fault divorce isn’t relevant, really. It’s still true whether you are interested in it or not.
So, What should it mean to me if my Bible says divorce was allowed because of the hardness of men’s heart (old Jewish law). It was never meant to be that way. For some odd reason, I believe God’s Law predates any man made law.
Again, my point was only that no-fault divorce has a thousands year long tradition, and isn’t something relatively new.
And again, my point was “no fault divorce” was against God’s law no matter what Man has to say and/or it’s history.
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