Skip to comments.Daddy's Little Money Pits (Adult children mooching off Mom n Dad)
Posted on 06/06/2010 10:11:16 AM PDT by STONEWALLS
"For years, Pat Bearce had a message for his daughter Andrea: After her college graduation, she would be on her own financially.
It has been three years, and she isn't quite there yet.
After studying broadcast journalism at Texas Christian University, Andrea decided to pursue a career as a chef, choosing a pricey culinary school in New York City. The restaurant jobs she landed didn't come with health coverage, so, in addition to guaranteeing her apartment lease in Manhattan, her parents covered her health-care costs for a couple of years. They paid her monthly cellphone bill, too. And she still has a jointly held credit card with her mother, Catherine.
"It's pretty hard to get them launched," says Mr. Bearce, a pilot at Boeing Co. in Seattle, who now says he never actually intended to enforce the deadline. "The real bottom line is that when they're done with school, they're not really done."
The latest class of college graduates is entering the real world at a time when parents are finding it more difficult than ever to get their adult children off the family doleand may be growing increasingly stretched themselves. For decades, the gap between the student years and adulthood has been widening, and the sour economy has only accelerated that trend.
The unemployment rate for 20- to 24-year-olds stands at about 15%, compared with 9.7% for the whole work force. Then there is the worsening indebtedness problem: About two-thirds of 2008 graduates had student debt, and that debt averaged $23,200up from $18,650 in 2004according to the Project on Student Debt, a nonprofit group.
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
Another sub-prime disaster. Defaulting on all those student loans to support Ivy League phony degrees.
Tell you what... if you study “Broadcast Journalism” in college, I can tell you youre not going to get too far in the first place.
Anyhoo, I had a friend in college, she studied English Literature. Bang! Come graduation day, and after, no job!
So, plucky thing that she is (And saddled with private school tuition debt that we all were), she enlisted in the USAF. Fast forward a couple of years, and shes now a 2nd Lt, in AF broadcast and making pretty decent money (likely much more than most in her English lit cohort).
Me, I double majored in economics and accounting, with a minor in physics, and later got my MBA. Its still tough out there, but with the grace of god, Im pretty alright for now. Kids, choose your major carefully. BS majors like philosophy and Sociology, and Liberal Studies, and Art History will get you NOWHERE in life, except still in your parents home when youre 35.
Take my advice... spend four years studying hard when youre in college, instead of partying it up while stoned. It will serve you well later in life, and you wont spend your waking hours whining on DU.
Your friends are enablers. Their kids are spoiled.
My daughter graduated from UVM a year ago. She lives with us but she got a retail job with health benefits. It’s not her dream job, but for now provides a basis for the future, if we have a future.
She pays her college and car loans and car insurance. We don’t ask her to pay any rent or such.
I think she likes the middle class standard of living we provide: cable, DVR, high speed internet, washer/dryer, full frig and she comes and goes as she pleases.
We like having her around.
Yep. I can relate. I just did “tough love” on my stepson. Amazingly, he has found a job. Not a great job, but a job.
Another sub-prime disaster. Defaulting on all those student loans to support Ivy League phony degrees.>>>>>>>
Not just the Ivies. All kinds of universities giving out fake phony degrees in ethnic studies, wymon’s studies, communications, psychology, art history etc etc. Some are worth studying but not by taking out $70,000 in student loans you can’t pay back with your dipstick degree
I tell my kids they’d better be able to support me when they grow up. ;)
Actually my plan is to go ahead and put money in their account, once the graduate.
The trick is they cannot touch the money until they retire.
You see, the difference between saving money in your 20s, and only starting to save in your 30s, is staggering, having that extra ten years of compounding, makes a big difference.
Nothing wrong with that!
We have a friend with two daughters. One is a lawyer in San Francisco and the other is a doctor in Provo. And our friends still have to contribute about half of their support. Either the kids are too damn expensive or the parents are to damn lenient or probably both.
Again, at least if she can take advantage and sock some money away now from the savings of living at home, that’s not a bad thing at all.
This isn’t all together negative...if the help is reciprocated when the parents need help and the kids are not lounging around the house killing time. It is what families should do. Much better for society if young people are not swamped in debt and if the elderly are taken care of by their children as long as possible.
I would suggest farming.
“Not just the Ivies...”
....yep...there’s a huge student loan debt pool out there in the for-profit school area...you know the ones who advertise on TV that they can teach you to be a Harley Davidson mechanic ect?...those types of students racked up Title IV government backed debt...just like student loans at universities.
We need a change in government ~ really soon too.
Communications is not really a fake degree. However, you have to be an outgoing person to use it and a lot of the people who get it aren’t.
Of course the real problem is that far too many people in this country have gone to college because all the middle class jobs that you used to could get with a hs diploma are gone.
I graduated Alabama when Perkins was coach and Shula was the QB. I actually knew Shula. I then ended up getting an MBA. I chose an industry that I liked and was able to do well and pulled in six figure checks before I turned 30.
It’s not that easy today. Back then we still had an economy that could support my ability to do something like that and then the combination of the bachelor’s and the MBA guaranteed you great things if you even had half a work ethic.
There are a lot of unemployed MBAs today and the college diploma has become like the old HS degree and the old HS degree is like having an 8th grade education except you can enlist.
If we can’t find a way to get middle class jobs in this country or at least wipe out the debt of all the college students who’ll never be middle class because of the economy this country is headed down a dark, dark road.
...sometimes it extends to the next generation...my 73 yo mother in law is still working to put grand children thru college.
“savings of living at home, thats not a bad thing at all.”
Savings is a bridge too far..=) But I did giver her that talk.
meanwhile, i can get a new grad with the same level of experience (none) for $200-500 PER MONTH...using offshore labor.
if i must bring them here, then i buy a big house and stuff 5-10 people into each house. i might pay them $1,000/mon each... but that’s still much cheaper than $30,000-50,000 expected by American new grads
and you can thank BJClinton and the H1-b bill for this.
and if you think it’s my fault for saving the money instead of using Americans, i’ve tried arguing the point, twice, as CTO... and you just can’t justify it.
My buddy’s daughter just graduated from law school owing 100,000. He plans to help her out.
Excuse me but why all of the perks to adult children? IMHO if the nest is warm and inviting they will never leave. She can work as a chef somewhere else besides where rents are out of her salary range, she does not need a cell phone, and if she really needs a creit card there are those that you can put $X dollars onto and when it is gone she is on her own.
She was seriously depressed, but has become a bit more upbeat as she has decided to get a certificate which will allow her to teach English, she is hoping in Japan. It is a paying job, tho I'm not happy seeing her go so far away for a year or two; but she should be back around the time we toss that idiot out of the WH, and then perhaps businesses will be feeling more willing to start hiring and take a chance on a newbie.
Sounds like dads the one that has trouble cutting the strings. I have two kids in college living at home. They sleep here and that is about it. The other part of their day is a full time job and full time at college. If they intend to stay after that I will charge them rent.
It used to - back in the 1950-2000 time frame that we are now starting to see was a historical aberration. Today, our ruling classes are reasserting control, and a lifetime of careful savings can be wiped out by one or two pieces of bribe-the-poor legislation.
This has nothing to do with student loans, this has to do with a generation that was never raised to grow up. My nephew-in-law is in this crowd of schmucks, and he never went to college. He (at 25) and most of his friends just can’t wrap their heads around the idea of getting a job and taking responsibility for their lives. The only part of growing up they’re even slightly interested in is the booze and sex.
I doubt a change in government is going to change attitudes of the kids. They’re accustomed to getting what they want. Makes no difference if George Bush is in office or Barry Obama. They want to major in broadcast journalism or women’s studies and somehow think they’re going to get well paying jobs when they graduate.
Or a simple change in regulation like the May 2009 change in the regulation governing Home Appraisals that knocked 20-25% off the value of your home simply with a stoke of the pen.
Hmm, I think you are going easy on them. My two kids work, go to school... but they pay their tuition, and bills and food around the house. And, they do chores. In a way, I am already charging them rent.
100% parents fault.
Wasn’t it only when Social Security became available that parents and children were obligated to live apart?
Pre Social Security, didn’t the parents live with their adult children when they became too old to work and/or the mother was left alone?
Isn’t the general rule of “children must leave the nest” another false tool of socialism just as wrong as “women do not need men to raise children”?
Isn’t this what Marx planned?
I’m in the same boat. My adult son has been off the drugs for a few years, after I finally got him away from his mother (my ex). Intellectually lazy and still thinks life is a big party. Much like his mom in that regard. I honestly don’t know what to do with him. I tell him that the world needs ditch diggers too, but that I hope he wants something better for himself.
Part of the devils pact the Socialists in Europe made with the voters after WW2. We will transfer all the burdensome adult issues to the State, you elect, and reelect us to take care of them for you. The result, as Mark Steyn in American Alone observed, is adult children in Europe who are now retiring having never ever had to actually deal with the burdens of Adulthood.
She was seriously depressed, but has become a bit more upbeat as she has decided to get a certificate which will allow her to teach English, she is hoping in Japan. It is a paying job, tho I’m not happy seeing her go so far away for a year or two; but she should be back around the time we toss that idiot out of the WH, and then perhaps businesses will be feeling more willing to start hiring and take a chance on a newbie. >>>>>>>>>
I would also consider Taiwan and Korea. Its the same deal where they want to learn American accent and idioms from a real live English teacher. Good luck to your daughter. She has a good attitude
Communications is not really a fake degree. However, you have to be an outgoing person to use it and a lot of the people who get it arent.>>>>>>>>>
It is a 100% legitimate degree. The problem is too many communications majors are in it because they couldn’t settle on anything else. Not you obviously but a lot of young women are in college as kind of a finishing school and place to meet a husband...A communications degree is what many of them pick.
The don’t usually eat here unless its the weekend and I am preparing dinner for the family. They did have to kick in last winter to help with the heating bills but other then that I don’t ask for much. And they are paying their own bills. I have nothing to do with that but I will be honest and admit that if I could afford it I probably would.
My folks rented a U-Haul for my college graduation gift. I had no job, no prospects, but knew they were serious. I moved in with a friend in the “big city” and worked 3 jobs until I finally found a “good” job. It’s what you have to do in order to grow up.
Isnt the general rule of children must leave the nest another false tool of socialism”
Well, in my case, after I left for college at 18, I never did live with my parents again. In the summer I roomed with friends, etc. Living was much cheaper in the 60s.
Quite frankly the main reason why I moved out was so I could have sex. So...
Now that my daughter is back at home, there is an unspoken agreement that there is none of that going on that I know about.
I’m not familiar with a SS rule about living apart. Families living together get less social security? Could you elaborate?
In my day it was expected that we’d work when we graduated. Some kids lived at home and paid a nominal rent for their room.
I'll be darned if I'll feel guilty about it, however. It's my money. My kid. My choice. Anyone who doesn't like it can pound sand.
It wasn't the change in regulations governing Home Appraisals that knocked 20-25% off the value of your home - it was the bursting RE bubble.
That 20-25% should never have been there.
Sure, and theres nothing wrong with what youre saying. Whats wrong is for those children to mooch off of their parents. They should be contributing, not asking their parents to pay their health insurance, dammit!
It’s a tough shot out there in the working world. You can’t blame companies that are looking at experience rather than new grads. They are out there and almost free for the picking.
I argued all the time, years ago, with my company about hiring 80% new grads and 20% experienced. I didn’t agree with that since the new grads had to re-invent the wheel in electronics. We tried to hire 20% new grads and let them learn from the experienced. Worked great and we turned product out fast and of higher quality. Face it, companies know that what a kid learns in college, in their books, is outdated when the book is printed. The only thing college proves is that they have the ability to learn. Let them learn from the experienced in the field.
The only way to beat an experiencedperson in an interview is to prove to the company that you can hit the ground running if hired,can out perform someone with 10-20 years experience. Not easy to do these days with all the talent running the streets.
Half my nephew’s friends haven’t even hit adolescence. Most of the time they act like 8 year-olds. They can’t even get the “benefits” of encroaching socialism because they won’t fill out any paperwork for anything ever, apparently forms are complicated and detract from sitting around watching TV time.
When I got my first job as a Student Asst. Lifeguard getting paid minimum wage ($2.75 hr.) part-time, my father told me it was time to start paying my share of the household expenses. He hit me up for ~ 25% of my check for about 2 years.
After I graduated HS, I paid my tuition and books and I went to college for a year and then enlisted in the AF. I haven’t looked back.
My son is going to learn the same lesson. I will not enable the type of behavior discussed in this article. You do more harm to your children by enabling them.
I would suggest avoiding farming like the plague.Trust me on this.
“You might like this article by Glenn Reynolds: Higher Edcation Bubble about to Burst”
good article. too many college dgrees are only good dor recipeints to scam future students. why does anyone need an MFA to teach adobe illustrator at a community college or technical school?