Skip to comments.FINALLY! Parental Alienation No Longer Goes Unpunished!!
Posted on 06/11/2010 4:02:46 AM PDT by AbolishCSEU
Long Island Judge Gives 'Up Close and Personal' View of Parental Alienation June 10th, 2010 by Robert Franklin, Esq.
This article tells us that a Long Island judge has found Lauren Lippe (pictured in insert, right) in contempt of court for alienating her two daughters from their father, Ted Rubin (pictured) (New York Post, 6/8/10). The judge, Robert Ross, has scheduled a hearing to decide whether to change the couple's custody agreement that gave primary custody to Lippe. Lippe is to spend six weekends in jail this summer.
To all those who pretend, in the face of ever-mounting evidence to the contrary, that parents don't attempt to alienate children, please read this article which gives more of the details of the judge's findings (Law.com, 6/8/10). Suffice it to say that the contempt hearing took 23 days to complete.
(Excerpt) Read more at glennsacks.com ...
It is amazing that two people who once loved each other more than anything could then later have nothing but hatred.
There is a cold place in Hell for people like this.
hey, you done making DVD’s with my videos yet?????
I cried when I read this article. I was a child like that.
My brother went on to graduate school and his PhD thesis was on men's right in divorce. . .at Texas Women's University, Denton Texas.
When he was preparing to defend his thesis, word went out on the campus and there were rallies and protests over his thesis and calls for his expulsion. In fact, the US Department of Labor Women's Bureau in Dallas had a radical feminist on staff and this hag actually, on official US Dept of Labor stationary, wrote a letter to countless women's “rights” organizations in Texas, calling on them to stop his thesis and graduation because the thesis WOULD AFFECT TEXAS LEGISLATION under consideration at that time.
Get that? A federal employee was actively using her position in the US Fed Govt to affect state legislation. A violation of the Hatch Act. The Dept of Labor IG’s office was contacted and, wonder of it all, actually defended the hag and her actions, refusing to even investigate, let alone punish the hag for her clearly illegal activity.
The only thing that ensured my brother would graduate was the fact he retained a lawyer and the school quietly let things slip through.
Quit yer whining!
it’s only been FIVE YEARS!!
I’m glad to see such actions by a judge.
I think it might have been more fitting for 8-12 weekends in the slammer.
There are some cases where the other parent does NOT deserve and is not fit for unsupervised visits with the children.
There are a LOT of cases where they do deserve and are fit for such visits and the bitter parent is relentless in flinging their bitterness, rage, vengeance etc. all over everyone within reach—to the great destructiveness spewed into the children’s lives and psyches—to their long term great hurt.
More fitting would be for any parent found of committing this heinous crime to lose custody instantly and permanently!! Worthy of noting, in the US, 84-86% of mothers get full custody so we know who is most guilty of perpetuating this garbage. It happened to my current hubby as well. The mother is a CHILD PROTECTIVE WORKER and has successfully alienated all three children under age 14. All three children are failing in school as well because mom wants to be the children’s FRIEND and not their PARENT! So many of these alienation cases are mom viewing the children as an “extension” of herself and projecting all her victim mentality onto the children. Is there any wonder there are so many messed up, in particular, young BOYS who are all on ADHD meds?
I should have noted . . . 10-12 weekends IN ADDITION TO INSTANT LOSS OF CUSTODY.
This link has the symptoms of parental alienation; for any man who has been through a “high conflict” divorce (and let’s face it; what divorce ISN’T), these symptoms may seem frighteningly familiar:
I WOULD ADD, HOWEVER,
That custody is one thing . . .
serious overwhelmingly sufficient positive attachment to prevent REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER is quite another.
Any Dad getting custody MUST rise to the occasion regarding the above.
Otherwise, the kids might well be better off adopted by a couple with a dad who would.
My son’s X took their 2 girls out of state, illegally-wouldn’t honor visitation rights, wouldn’t allow the girls to talk with him on the phone, alienated their behavior towards him. He finally fired his attorney and became his own attorney fighting in two states. Two female judges in 2 different states came to the conclusion that he should be the parent the girls should be living with. I hope anyone fighting “parental alienation” now takes hope in this. Those were horrible, difficult times.
Welcome to my world.
He probably loved her. She never did. I hope you never learn what that feels like.
“He finally fired his attorney....”
Good move. Family law attorneys are mostly ineffective money whores and the Family Court system is perfectly set up to ply their trade.
It’s one of the most destructive rackets going.
If they put as much money into Child VISITATION Enforcement as they do Child SUPPORT Collection, there would be overwhelming amounts of programs for “re-programming” PASed children. However, I do think that the government has a big part in all of this and if they would get out of the divorce business, you’d see these cases drop significantly.
50/50 Custody with no “golden cash prizes” i.e. Child Support changing hands. I also think divorce is a terrible thing and should be avoided at all costs but that is not a reality in today’s world with selfish people far and wide.
The NOW organization actively fights considering Parental Alienation as abuse because it might shift custody to 50/50 and thusly big Child Support and Spousal Maintenance money out of the hands of women. So much for the “best interests of the child.”
I fought this fight for two years and now my sons live with me. Some suggestions:
1) Resist the urge to fight fire with fire. Make sure the children know the reasons why you got married and what is good about their other parent.
2) Make sure your children understand that you and their other parent will do this out of your brokenness.
3) Resist the temptation to feel betrayed when they like things about being with the other parent.
4) Keep in contact. Exercise every moment of possession you have available.
5) Reduce opportunities for conflict. If given the option, pick up school-age children from school and return them to school. You can designate other adults if your job interferes. I have hired a car more than once.
6) Forgive, forgive, forgive. This is the best way to teach your children how.
Unfortunately she used money as the leverage, she has them believing Daddy is stealing their money (I have never missed a child support payment). My son and daughter no longer talk to me because of that and no longer wish to have a relationship because of that.
I am basically defenseless to stop it. California Judges support the rights of mothers, when it comes to the rights of the fathers, there is basically no such thing.
I am glad to see parent alienation is finally getting the attention it deserves.
I caught “my” lawyer having a cheek to cheek meeting with my ex during my divorce. They were in a deserted hall way during a break in the trial. I don’t think they ever saw me. I did fire him. ;0)
This is just part of the war on men going on in this country. We are poorer for it.
Hell, when my ex and I separated, she hired this sleazy lawyer 20 years her senior, who was a well-known coke-ster and womanizer. She was in her “rodeo” mode at that point, and I don’t think she ever had to pay him any money. She even took a 5 day trip to FL with him, but explained it was all purely platonic.
My ex pulled the alienation thing on my kids during the year we were separated prior to actual divorce. I never gave up the fight for access and custody and overtime wore her down to where she agreed to a position that was fair to the kids.
It was not a pretty sight to see my own kids alienated towards me the times I got to see them during the separation.
Kids are resilient though and eventually they saw through their mother’s hate and gravitated towards me of their own accord.
It’s all over with now, the kids are grown and make their own choices of who they seek to assoicate with.
They’ve reconciled with their mother, but they will never have the relationship with her that a mother desires to have with her sons.
A friend of mine had the same thing happen but managed to have 4 weeks summer vacation and every other Christmas written into the agreement.
The ex’s family was mega wealthy and the kids were raised with nannies and butler’s etc.
Each summer they vacationed with dad they got to taste real life and did things they were never allowed to do living with their mother; things like riding bikes in the neighborhood, playing baseball with their dad, shooting rifles/shotguns, riding four wheelers, etc.
The father got a kick out of sending the kids home to their bazillion dollar home/neighborhood in the cammos they so loved to wear when visiting him.
When both kids turned 18 they moved in with their dad, despite having to live on a budget and away from the wealth and privilege of their mother’s side of the family.
“4) Keep in contact. Exercise every moment of possession you have available”
I thank God I worked for a company that was flexible in this regard. For 10 years I left work at 3:05 most every day to pick up the kids from school with maybe 1 out of 10 times the ex would do it.
Some relief when the oldest got his driver’s license and would pick up Jr.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Now that you are an adult, do you think there is something psychologically wrong with the alienating parent?
Have you now got a good relationship with your other parent? Does he/she understand how you were manipulated?
I told my hubby early on what his ex was up to, but he failed to believe me and gave her the “benefit of the doubt.” He called me “paranoid” and “jealous” well fast forward to seven years later. It’s been 9 months since the youngest has been at our house. Two years for the older two. The ex has an upper hand because she works daily in the court system so has all the court officials in her county eating out of her hand.
Looking the other way and inaction is the biggest enemy because it emboldens the perpetrator to escalate the alienation campaign. You have to recognize it immediately and nip it in the bud right away or it will result in complete alienation of all children.
AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!
Some suggestions . . .
1. keep a journal with signed daily entries of any significant anything related to the kids, relationships etc. If nothing is happening daily—note daily what should be happening but is not.
2. Make certain there’s a paper trail of the payments.
3. If possible, send written love notes to the kids weekly. If not possible, send them to your parents or some other reliable person likely to be very responsible to keep them in a box etc. When the kids turn 21, you could arrange to send a box of such to each of them. You might include in the notes what you’d have bought for them that week, if you could have.
4. It might be possible to logon to FACEBOOK as a peer and keep track of them and affirm them in loving ways that way. If so, resist the temptation to out yourself for at least a year.
5. PRAY PRAY PRAY FOR GOD TO BREAK THE SITUATION—WHATEVER HIS WISDOM AND LOVE WOULD ARRANGE.
6. FORGIVE. FORGIVE. FORGIVE. That, more than anything, will put the other parent in the middle of God’s discipline as well as free you from the bondage and consequences of unforgiveness.
7. When you write, you would do well to write about wondering what they look like that day, what their activities are that day; what you’d tell them you liked about their personality that day etc. You can use hypothetical fantasies about such as well.
8. After 6-12 months of keeping a journal, you might send a copy to the judge involved with the visitation decrees. Add a statement about the alienation efforts. Those efforts should be documented in tha journal.
9. If you have not been keeping such a journal, write the events down as they have happened to date.
10. Get a couple of trusted, trustworthy witnesses to sign & date your journal on all crucial entries and periodically on routine ones. Insure the journal is in your handwriting. Write bigger & skip every other line, if you need to, in order to make it legible.
11. Buy whatever durable, useful item a young adult would likely want or need at say age 12-25 . . . or better, some durable investment—which could be tricky these days . . . for birthdays etc.
12. PRAY that God would give a hunger in each child to know you. Pray that God would expose the lies about you and the evil motives against you. FORGIVE. FORGIVE. FORGIVE.
I suppose reporting him to the bar would have been very problematic.
WHAT AN IMPRESSIVE ACCOMPLISHMENT.
We must've had the same attorney.
The turnarounds for me were two separate occasions.
The first was when the clock ran out on her attorney postponing a deposition. The day before the deposition the ex caved and grated joint custody.
The second was a couple of years later after a pattern of visitation had been established where the kids were staying with me as much or more than with their mom. I was so cooperative with her dating schedule that she could rely on me to be available to keep the kids while she “entertained”.
I waited until the oldest was ready to testify to the judge about her drunkenness. When she landed a job where she was driving 200 miles both ways I filed for a visitation change.
When she realized her own son was going to spill the beans she caved.
/hugs. I’m so sorry to hear that. To miss out on a relationship with your father who wants one... I truly hope you can reconnect with your children some day. I know they miss you even if they don’t want to admit it.
Amen to that. I am fortunate to still have a job, but it killed my career - I went from being nationally recognized to a virtual nobody. My sons will never doubt that they are worthy of being loved, and you can't buy that.
maybe 1 out of 10 times the ex would do it.
Yeah, the boys' mother's attempts to alienate me backfired, and she cemented her own alienation when she failed to put forth the same kind of effort that the boys saw in me.
But all glory to the One who deserves it - when I wondered in front of the youngest how we did it, he said "We didn't. God did."
I freepmailed you.
I found the temptation to do this problematic, since I never could reconcile it with the last clause of 1 Cor 13:5.
As long as you don’t value your soul. Your joke is tasteless and inappropriate. The emotions that torment and rip apart the one flesh that God joined are bad enough without idiotic statements like this.
“it killed my career “
Same here. But at the same time it’s nice to have been hammered into a “money and pride isn’t everything” attitude.
My outlook on life is completely different now than before I was divorced.
Recently I was given a box of photos from just before and through my marriage. I see the guy just before divorce and I don’t recognize him. I have more in common with myself pre-marriage and early years than I do with the guy in the later marriage photos.
My kids recognize who was there for them when they needed someone. That’s all that matters.
“But all glory to the One who deserves it - when I wondered in front of the youngest how we did it, he said “We didn’t. God did.”
The most important thing you said.
Yes, God is what got me through it. I recall somewhere in the early days one morning sitting in front of the ex’s house waiting for the kids to come out for their ride to school.
Behind in work, Zero money, stress city going on I was pondering on having 13 years of my life tossed in the garbage and how different it would be in a good way once another 13 years had passed. I can’t recall how many times I prayed to God to just get me through one more day. Gradually things improved and sometime after 13 years God reminded me of that prior thought and that he took me through it one day at a time.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.