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Planet of the apes: Monkeys taught to shoot Americans?
wnd.com ^ | 7/11/2010 | staff

Posted on 07/12/2010 5:05:45 AM PDT by drpix

WASHINGTON – Afghanistan's Taliban terrorists are training monkeys to shoot American soldiers with automatic weapons, according to British and Chinese media agencies.

In the Taliban stronghold of Waziristan, journalists took pictures of some "monkey soldiers" holding AK-47s and Bren light machine guns.

The official People's Daily in China explained the emergence of "monkey soldiers" as just another facet of "asymmetrical warfare."

"The United States launched the war in Afghanistan using the world's most advanced weapons, such as highly-intelligent robots to detect bombs on roadsides and unmanned aerial vehicles to attack major Taliban targets," said the report. "In response, the Taliban forces have tried any possible means and figured out a method to train monkeys as 'replacement killers'" against American troops.

- - more - -

(Excerpt) Read more at wnd.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: afghanistan; banglist; islam; jihad; monkey; monkeyarmy; monkeys; monkeysoldiers; muslims; planetoftheapes; waronterror; wickedwitchofwest; wizardofoz
One question: Which one's the monkey?


1 posted on 07/12/2010 5:05:49 AM PDT by drpix
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To: drpix

This totally violates one of the cardinal rules of gun safety:

No matter how trustworthy he looks, never give a monkey a loaded gun.


2 posted on 07/12/2010 5:07:01 AM PDT by SJSAMPLE
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To: drpix

The NBPP gets around.


3 posted on 07/12/2010 5:07:17 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy
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To: drpix

Its funny till a monkey goes on a killin spree in your own village.


4 posted on 07/12/2010 5:08:34 AM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: SJSAMPLE

No, no, no. The proper Chinese proverb is ‘Never slaughter a chicken in front of a monkey’

http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Never_slaughter_a_chicken_in_front_of_a_monkey


5 posted on 07/12/2010 5:08:42 AM PDT by vladimir998 (Part of the Vast Catholic Conspiracy (hat tip to Kells))
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To: drpix

Guess we’ll have to change the slogan to...”Women, children and monkeys hit hardest.”


6 posted on 07/12/2010 5:09:10 AM PDT by 668 - Neighbor of the Beast (STOP the Tyrananny State.)
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To: drpix
Hey,if monkeys could fly several 767’s back in 2001 then machine guns should be a piece of cake.
7 posted on 07/12/2010 5:10:53 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (''I don't regret setting bombs,I feel we didn't do enough.'' ->Bill Ayers,Hussein's mentor,9/11/01)
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To: drpix

If we have to fight back against the monkeys, PETA will go ballistic!


8 posted on 07/12/2010 5:11:52 AM PDT by Mich Patriot (New 'green' idea: use illegals for target practice instead of wasting paper.)
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To: drpix

"Laugh while you can, monkey-boy."


9 posted on 07/12/2010 5:12:00 AM PDT by Jonah Hex ("Never underestimate the hungover side of the Force.")
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To: drpix

Just wait, now the ROE will change to make sure no innocent monkeys are harmed.


10 posted on 07/12/2010 5:13:26 AM PDT by FourPeas (God Save America)
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To: drpix

I guess if we shoot back, we’ll have the ASCPA on our backs, too.


11 posted on 07/12/2010 5:14:51 AM PDT by FrankR ( If we don't stand up to tyranny, the tyrants win, and we're enslaved.)
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To: drpix
LOL, This was predicted in the movie Conquest of the Planet of the Apes.

Secretly, Caesar teaches the combat arts to the other apes and has them gather weapons....Caesar leads an ape revolt against Ape Management. The apes are victorious after killing most of the riot police. After bursting into Gov. Breck's command post and killing most of the personnel, Caesar has Breck marched out to be executed
From link:Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

12 posted on 07/12/2010 5:15:17 AM PDT by sickoflibs ( "It's not the taxes, the redistribution is the federal spending=tax delayed")
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To: drpix

Don’t be monkeyin around with that!


13 posted on 07/12/2010 5:15:22 AM PDT by wolfcreek (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lsd7DGqVSIc)
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To: drpix

Animal “rights” groups will be jumping up and down screaming if US troops shoot a monkey (the animal ones)


14 posted on 07/12/2010 5:19:26 AM PDT by Leftism is Mentally Deranged (liberalism: severe deterioration of the thinking apparattus)
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To: drpix

If you outlaw guns, only monkeys will have guns.


15 posted on 07/12/2010 5:21:06 AM PDT by InvisibleChurch (Stimulus ~ Response)
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To: drpix

Same question: which one was BJ and which one was the bear?

16 posted on 07/12/2010 5:21:59 AM PDT by P.O.E. ("Now who's being naive, Kaye?" - M. Corleone)
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To: FourPeas

Oh no! guess next will be Suicide Monkey Bombers.
Again making ‘organ grinding’ a not so lucrative business since you won’t be able to tell the armed monkeys from the organ grinders....decisions, decisions,
well like ‘they’ said in VN, kill them all, God will sort them out later.

Then again in WWII the US was training bats to drop bombs on Japan.
Well, actually to become incendiary bombs with the plan to drop them from planes and they were to land on the straw and thatched roofs...

PETA would have loved that one....


17 posted on 07/12/2010 5:23:10 AM PDT by xrmusn ((6/98 ) FIRE ALL INCUMBENTS)
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To: drpix

LOL

Comment #2 at the website link is priceless!


18 posted on 07/12/2010 5:23:44 AM PDT by TomGuy
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To: drpix

19 posted on 07/12/2010 5:34:13 AM PDT by Perdogg (Nancy Pelosi did more damage to America on 03/21 than Al Qaeda did on 09/11)
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To: xrmusn
Wasn't Obumbler the community organ-grinder before he ran for office?
20 posted on 07/12/2010 5:34:35 AM PDT by Beagle8U (Free Republic -- One stop shopping ....... It's the Conservative Super WalMart for news .)
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To: drpix

They forgot to shave for two days, and this is what happens...


21 posted on 07/12/2010 5:36:04 AM PDT by MortMan (Obama's response to the Gulf oil spill: a four-putt.)
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To: xrmusn

The Behavioral Scientist pioneer, B.F. Skinner worked on a pigeon controlled guided missile during WWII.

IIRC, this is how that worked. The pigeons were trainned to peck at likely military targets. Then the pigeons were placed in the missile with a screen to view. As the pigeon pecked at the likely target, it provided guidance inputs to vector motors. This was never actually deployed. I’m not sure there ever was even a working prototype, but they did work on it.


22 posted on 07/12/2010 5:38:00 AM PDT by rgboomers (This space purposely left blank)
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To: drpix

I don’t see the difference between the two. Which is human and which is monkey?


23 posted on 07/12/2010 5:57:07 AM PDT by MEGoody (Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
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To: drpix

Get your stinking paws off my gun you damn, dirty ape!!!


24 posted on 07/12/2010 6:02:07 AM PDT by Le Chien Rouge
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To: drpix

Hey muzzies, it’s GUERILLA warfare, not gorilla warfare.

Can’t they get anything right?


25 posted on 07/12/2010 6:18:12 AM PDT by VRWCmember
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To: drpix
Wow, just when you think WND couldn't possibly sink further as a credible news source....
26 posted on 07/12/2010 6:20:03 AM PDT by allmendream (Income is EARNED not distributed. So how could it be re-distributed?)
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To: SJSAMPLE
A corollary item:

27 posted on 07/12/2010 6:24:00 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a (de)humanist and a Satanist is that the latter knows who he's working for.)
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To: drpix

Don’t kill chickens in front of a monkey.


28 posted on 07/12/2010 6:28:53 AM PDT by dangerdoc
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To: drpix

When was eight years old during Vietnam War heard on
news 8 “guerrillas” were killed.

Thought that was awful killing those poor “gorillas”


29 posted on 07/12/2010 6:31:33 AM PDT by njslim
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To: drpix
Not to worry - Lancelot Link has already been dispatched to the area.
30 posted on 07/12/2010 6:32:37 AM PDT by Waverunner
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To: drpix

The ones with the higher I.Q.


31 posted on 07/12/2010 6:36:26 AM PDT by 70th Division (I love my country but fear my government!)
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To: drpix
Jerry Clower: The Coon Huntin' Monkey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3H8B_aW3ZQ

32 posted on 07/12/2010 6:54:32 AM PDT by Niteranger68 (Don't just accept freedom, DEMAND IT!!!)
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To: allmendream
The story is being covered by many other sources, from New York magazine to People's Daily (English Version).

While they possibly are all being played for propaganda or a hoax, the report - with photos - is worthy of posting. And the humour is a huge bonus.

33 posted on 07/12/2010 7:40:48 AM PDT by drpix
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To: drpix

In related news, the Allies in Afghanistan have begun leaving banana-shaped booby traps in known taliban areas.

Large numbers of explosions have already been reported.


34 posted on 07/12/2010 7:44:13 AM PDT by reagan_fanatic (Never trust anyone who points their rear end at God while praying.)
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To: drpix

I hope GIs train goats to give the Taliban syphilis.


35 posted on 07/13/2010 5:38:35 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana (Editor, ZARR CHASM CHRONICAL [sic], Sore, WV)
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