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Al Gore Satanic Heavy Metal Fetish Cited in Tipper Gore Divorce [Satire]
Daily Squib ^ | 6/3/2010 | Blackie Lawful

Posted on 07/23/2010 5:51:19 AM PDT by IbJensen

Al Gore turns the amp up to 11

NASHVILLE - USA - Al Gore would rock out to 'satanic' heavy metal bands and perform rituals in the family home, divorce lawyers for ex-wife Tipper Gore have revealed.

Ex Vice President, Al Gore has been living a secret life as a heavy metal fanatic who allegedly performs gory sacrificial rituals in a secret room in the family mansion.

When he's not jetting around the world spewing nonsense about global warming, Al Gore hangs out in his home dungeon listening to sordid heavy metal music and skinning live bats, his wife has claimed.

According to papers filed at the supreme court, Al Gore, repeatedly listened to 'hellish' bands like WASP, Slayer and Barry Manilow in his room. He played loud guitars at all times of the night and day was said to be possessed by "demonic spirits".

Tipper Gore is a prominent member of the PMRC, whose sole claim to fame in the 80's was to place fear into the ignorant, generally stupid American parents blaming controversial music figures for disruption, aggression and violence.

"She would come home from PMRC rallies and find Al in a corner chewing on a bone wearing outrageous spandex trousers listening to Twisted Sister at very loud volume. This was just last week as well. How would she be able to face the PMRC board after seeing that? Mr Gore would also repeatedly cause offence by singing lyrics from some of these awful bands and stick his tongue out whilst banging his head. At breakfast time, this was unacceptable behaviour and was a major cause for the marriage breakdown," Jacob Horovitz, one of Tipper's attorneys told CBS news.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: algore; gore; lockbox; riskyscheme; runslikeagirl
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Well. He is a crazy loon.
1 posted on 07/23/2010 5:51:19 AM PDT by IbJensen
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To: IbJensen
Barry Manilow

Wow. Much worse than anyone thought. Pure evil.

/johnny

2 posted on 07/23/2010 5:54:12 AM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: IbJensen

LMAO....head bangin’ sex poodle


3 posted on 07/23/2010 5:54:12 AM PDT by BubbaJunebug (s)
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To: IbJensen

4 posted on 07/23/2010 5:55:02 AM PDT by Mojave (Ignorant and stoned - Obama's natural constituency.)
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To: IbJensen
Well. He is a crazy loon.

Yep, though this is satire. "Barry Manilow"...HA!

5 posted on 07/23/2010 5:56:52 AM PDT by bcsco (First there was Slick Willie. Now there's "Oil Slick" Barry...)
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To: IbJensen

This is satire...and not that funny. Al Gore’s victim in Portland, Maine saying Al turned into a crazed sex poodle...that’s funny!


6 posted on 07/23/2010 5:57:49 AM PDT by Dixie Yooper (Ephesians 6:11)
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To: IbJensen

I like the one where Oprah has been arrested on suspicion of being a Russian spy for over 30 years, “the FBI has disclosed”.


7 posted on 07/23/2010 5:58:29 AM PDT by fight_truth_decay
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To: IbJensen

Rock the Chakra!


8 posted on 07/23/2010 5:58:43 AM PDT by Rebelbase (Political correctness in America today is a Rip Van Winkle acid trip.)
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To: IbJensen

And he wanted to be President....


9 posted on 07/23/2010 5:59:43 AM PDT by blueyon (The U. S. Constitution - read it and weep)
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To: IbJensen

When I hear the words Al Gore, the image of Xerxes from the movie 300 comes to mind. Evil.


10 posted on 07/23/2010 6:00:12 AM PDT by Grumpybutt (Back off! I'm Grumpy (love that car window sticker!) LOL)
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To: IbJensen

........ “ I coulda been a contender ,,,,, I coulda been somebody “ ,,,,,, “ damn you Geo. Bush !!!!! “


11 posted on 07/23/2010 6:00:37 AM PDT by lionheart 247365 (-:{ GLENN BECK is 0bama's TRANSPARENCY CZAR }:-)
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To: IbJensen

That site looks like the British version of Scooter’s Report.


12 posted on 07/23/2010 6:00:46 AM PDT by WXRGina
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To: IbJensen

Satire should be marked in the headline.

That said, satire just won’t work any longer on Gore. His real life is too silly and sad. Truth beats fiction.


13 posted on 07/23/2010 6:01:54 AM PDT by Jedidah
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To: Dixie Yooper

“Get off me you big Lumix”, was funny as well. The words not the act. (I did not know the ‘victim’ was from Portland, ME)


14 posted on 07/23/2010 6:02:18 AM PDT by fight_truth_decay
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To: IbJensen

This IS satire, right?


15 posted on 07/23/2010 6:02:24 AM PDT by dangus
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To: JRandomFreeper

Manilow? Now that’s just awful.


16 posted on 07/23/2010 6:04:12 AM PDT by darkangel82 (I don't have a superiority complex, I'm just better than you.)
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To: fight_truth_decay
"Release my second chakra!" was the best of all, but not easy to work into daily conversation...
17 posted on 07/23/2010 6:05:37 AM PDT by Dixie Yooper (Ephesians 6:11)
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To: Dixie Yooper

OK, you win!


18 posted on 07/23/2010 6:07:32 AM PDT by fight_truth_decay
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To: IbJensen

“”There has been much speculation over the origin of the band’s name, and if it stands for anything, since it is written as an acronym. In an interview in the 1980s, the band claimed it stood for “We Are Sexual Perverts” or “We Are Sexual Prophets” It is not known whether this was a serious statement. It is believed by many that they said it for shock value. However, “We Are Sexual Perverts” is inscribed on the runoff vinyl of their debut album.

Alternatively, some people believe the initials W.A.S.P. stand for “We Are So Perfect” or even “We Are So Powerful”. Another possible abbreviation is “White Anglo-Saxon Protestants”, being the original meaning of the acronym. However, this is unlikely considering the fact that Blackie Lawless’ mother is part Native American.[3] It could be ironic, seeing as songs like “Animal (F**k Like a Beast)” hardly fit into the usual picture of White Anglo-Saxon Protestantism. It has also been rumored that their name is an acronym for “We Are Satan’s People” or even “We Are Satan’s Preachers”. When asked about the band’s name, Lawless has avoided giving a straight answer; in one interview he answered “We ain’t sure, pal”.””

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W.A.S.P.

*Please note I did blank out 2 letters in the F word quoted


19 posted on 07/23/2010 6:08:09 AM PDT by blueyon (The U. S. Constitution - read it and weep)
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To: IbJensen
Metal makes me want coffee.
20 posted on 07/23/2010 6:08:33 AM PDT by Caesar Soze
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To: IbJensen
Al Gore hangs out in his home dungeon listening to sordid heavy metal music and skinning live bats, his wife has claimed.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?

21 posted on 07/23/2010 6:09:52 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Remember in November. Clean the house on Nov. 2. / Progressive is a PC word for liberal democrat.)
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To: IbJensen; All
Very easy to believe... may need a satire alert!

See site's other articles.

22 posted on 07/23/2010 6:10:03 AM PDT by drpix
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To: IbJensen

This has to be satire.


23 posted on 07/23/2010 6:10:17 AM PDT by Poser (Enjoying tasty animals for 58 years)
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To: Jedidah

Satire should be marked in the headline.

spoil sport...come on..read some of the other stories..check out the Squib..lol..If you have to tell someone after that..well perhaps MSNBC or “the View” will pick it up as “breaking”. ;)


24 posted on 07/23/2010 6:10:26 AM PDT by fight_truth_decay
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Well, I see [SATIRE] has now been added to the headline.


25 posted on 07/23/2010 6:11:49 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Remember in November. Clean the house on Nov. 2. / Progressive is a PC word for liberal democrat.)
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To: IbJensen

Just as we all suspected. He’s a Devil worshiper. Now it all makes sense.................


26 posted on 07/23/2010 6:11:52 AM PDT by Red Badger (No, Obama's not the Antichrist. But he does have him on speed dial...............)
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To: Arrowhead1952
skinning live bats,

Clinton, Pelosi, Boxer???

27 posted on 07/23/2010 6:12:05 AM PDT by gov_bean_ counter (Sarah Palin - For such a time as this...)
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To: Grumpybutt

Please don’t insult Xerxes...............


28 posted on 07/23/2010 6:12:33 AM PDT by Red Badger (No, Obama's not the Antichrist. But he does have him on speed dial...............)
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To: IbJensen

How does Barry Manilow fit in? He’s a nice schmaltzy Jewish boy, not a heavy metal rocker.

He’s not bad in concert. I saw him in 1973 and 1976 in Chicago. I can’t imagine what he is like today.


29 posted on 07/23/2010 6:14:00 AM PDT by neocon1984
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To: IbJensen
The Daily Squib, "the World's Finest News Source," is quite a step up from The Onion, which is only "America's Finest News Source."
30 posted on 07/23/2010 6:14:28 AM PDT by southernnorthcarolina ("Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own." -- Aesop)
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To: Poser

You think? Noticed your ‘tasty animals’ tagline perhaps you would like this UK news...if you are into recycling.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2557423/posts


31 posted on 07/23/2010 6:15:39 AM PDT by fight_truth_decay
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To: Caesar Soze
You Can't Kill The Metal.
32 posted on 07/23/2010 6:15:40 AM PDT by Rodamala
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To: IbJensen

“Breaking the Law, Breaking the Law”

Who knew Al was a head banger? Man, impacted chakra can make a man do all sorts of weird things. Maybe we need a “Betty Ford Clinic” for arrested development?


33 posted on 07/23/2010 6:15:43 AM PDT by equalitybeforethelaw
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To: lionheart 247365
Official winner "Best Tagline Ever" award!
34 posted on 07/23/2010 6:16:02 AM PDT by Aevery_Freeman (Fear God and Government - especially when one tries to become the other!)
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To: IbJensen
OK, you had me going up through Barry Manilow. That's when I checked my feet to see if one leg was longer than the other one.

:-)

35 posted on 07/23/2010 6:16:55 AM PDT by Jonah Hex ("Never underestimate the hungover side of the Force.")
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To: Arrowhead1952

‘sighs’


36 posted on 07/23/2010 6:18:44 AM PDT by fight_truth_decay
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To: fight_truth_decay

And that one isn’t satire.

Mmmmmmmm... Beer in a dead squirrel!


37 posted on 07/23/2010 6:21:34 AM PDT by Poser (Enjoying tasty animals for 58 years)
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To: IbJensen
Al Gore is Iron Man.
38 posted on 07/23/2010 6:29:59 AM PDT by windsorknot
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To: IbJensen

GO TIPPER!!!!


39 posted on 07/23/2010 6:30:18 AM PDT by dalebert
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To: IbJensen

Damn - if Al Gore is a Slayer fan, I might be forced to give him some space on this.

SSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!


40 posted on 07/23/2010 6:34:20 AM PDT by GlockThe Vote
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To: Dixie Yooper
Al turned into a crazed sex poodle...that’s funny

I can just see old algore humping away on your leg. LOL

41 posted on 07/23/2010 6:57:29 AM PDT by org.whodat
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To: IbJensen
After learning what we have recently about Al, I reflect back on Jamie Gorelick and am wondering:

Was she born with that last name or did she earn it?


42 posted on 07/23/2010 7:12:10 AM PDT by capt. norm (Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.)
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To: IbJensen

Did he start sounding like Death Metal Cookie Monster during one of his recent speeches?


43 posted on 07/23/2010 7:13:37 AM PDT by Fred Hayek (FUBO! I salute you with the soles of my shoes!)
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To: IbJensen


You know where you are? You're in the global warming jungle baby, your gonna fryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-eye ....
44 posted on 07/23/2010 7:18:29 AM PDT by Scythian
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Al Gore, repeatedly listened to 'hellish' bands like WASP, Slayer and Barry Manilow in his room. He played loud guitars at all times of the night and day was said to be possessed by "demonic spirits".

Rather odd. A storm warning perhaps? Dark clouds on the psychic horizon?

45 posted on 07/23/2010 7:56:41 AM PDT by CanaGuy (Go Harper!)
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To: IbJensen

He’s not Captain Planet...he’s Captain Plant-it!


46 posted on 07/23/2010 9:10:35 AM PDT by driftless2 (For long term happiness, learn how to play the accordion.)
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To: equalitybeforethelaw

I think his favorite singer is Chakra Khan.


47 posted on 07/23/2010 9:12:03 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: IbJensen

He’s not Captain Planet...he’s Captain Plant-it!


48 posted on 07/23/2010 9:12:33 AM PDT by driftless2 (For long term happiness, learn how to play the accordion.)
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To: Aevery_Freeman

......... a truer tagline has never been posted ,,, I have boasted !!!

......... but ,,, is it ready for the TagLine Hall of Fame ???


49 posted on 07/23/2010 9:18:42 AM PDT by lionheart 247365 (-:{ GLENN BECK is 0bama's TRANSPARENCY CZAR }:-)
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To: IbJensen

“Al Gore, repeatedly listened to ‘hellish’ bands like WASP, Slayer and Barry Manilow in his room”

Barry Manilow??

One of these things is not like the others....


50 posted on 07/23/2010 9:46:25 AM PDT by CrappieLuck
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