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Al Gore Satanic Heavy Metal Fetish Cited in Tipper Gore Divorce [Satire]
Daily Squib ^ | 6/3/2010 | Blackie Lawful

Posted on 07/23/2010 5:51:19 AM PDT by IbJensen

Al Gore turns the amp up to 11

NASHVILLE - USA - Al Gore would rock out to 'satanic' heavy metal bands and perform rituals in the family home, divorce lawyers for ex-wife Tipper Gore have revealed.

Ex Vice President, Al Gore has been living a secret life as a heavy metal fanatic who allegedly performs gory sacrificial rituals in a secret room in the family mansion.

When he's not jetting around the world spewing nonsense about global warming, Al Gore hangs out in his home dungeon listening to sordid heavy metal music and skinning live bats, his wife has claimed.

According to papers filed at the supreme court, Al Gore, repeatedly listened to 'hellish' bands like WASP, Slayer and Barry Manilow in his room. He played loud guitars at all times of the night and day was said to be possessed by "demonic spirits".

Tipper Gore is a prominent member of the PMRC, whose sole claim to fame in the 80's was to place fear into the ignorant, generally stupid American parents blaming controversial music figures for disruption, aggression and violence.

"She would come home from PMRC rallies and find Al in a corner chewing on a bone wearing outrageous spandex trousers listening to Twisted Sister at very loud volume. This was just last week as well. How would she be able to face the PMRC board after seeing that? Mr Gore would also repeatedly cause offence by singing lyrics from some of these awful bands and stick his tongue out whilst banging his head. At breakfast time, this was unacceptable behaviour and was a major cause for the marriage breakdown," Jacob Horovitz, one of Tipper's attorneys told CBS news.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: algore; gore; lockbox; riskyscheme; runslikeagirl
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To: Dixie Yooper
Al turned into a crazed sex poodle...that’s funny

I can just see old algore humping away on your leg. LOL

41 posted on 07/23/2010 6:57:29 AM PDT by org.whodat
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To: IbJensen
After learning what we have recently about Al, I reflect back on Jamie Gorelick and am wondering:

Was she born with that last name or did she earn it?


42 posted on 07/23/2010 7:12:10 AM PDT by capt. norm (Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.)
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To: IbJensen

Did he start sounding like Death Metal Cookie Monster during one of his recent speeches?


43 posted on 07/23/2010 7:13:37 AM PDT by Fred Hayek (FUBO! I salute you with the soles of my shoes!)
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To: IbJensen


You know where you are? You're in the global warming jungle baby, your gonna fryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-eye ....
44 posted on 07/23/2010 7:18:29 AM PDT by Scythian
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Al Gore, repeatedly listened to 'hellish' bands like WASP, Slayer and Barry Manilow in his room. He played loud guitars at all times of the night and day was said to be possessed by "demonic spirits".

Rather odd. A storm warning perhaps? Dark clouds on the psychic horizon?

45 posted on 07/23/2010 7:56:41 AM PDT by CanaGuy (Go Harper!)
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To: IbJensen

He’s not Captain Planet...he’s Captain Plant-it!


46 posted on 07/23/2010 9:10:35 AM PDT by driftless2 (For long term happiness, learn how to play the accordion.)
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To: equalitybeforethelaw

I think his favorite singer is Chakra Khan.


47 posted on 07/23/2010 9:12:03 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: IbJensen

He’s not Captain Planet...he’s Captain Plant-it!


48 posted on 07/23/2010 9:12:33 AM PDT by driftless2 (For long term happiness, learn how to play the accordion.)
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To: Aevery_Freeman

......... a truer tagline has never been posted ,,, I have boasted !!!

......... but ,,, is it ready for the TagLine Hall of Fame ???


49 posted on 07/23/2010 9:18:42 AM PDT by lionheart 247365 (-:{ GLENN BECK is 0bama's TRANSPARENCY CZAR }:-)
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To: IbJensen

“Al Gore, repeatedly listened to ‘hellish’ bands like WASP, Slayer and Barry Manilow in his room”

Barry Manilow??

One of these things is not like the others....


50 posted on 07/23/2010 9:46:25 AM PDT by CrappieLuck
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To: IbJensen

51 posted on 07/23/2010 2:22:08 PM PDT by seawolf101
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To: CrappieLuck

The wanker loved Barry!


52 posted on 07/24/2010 8:58:02 AM PDT by IbJensen ((Ps 109.8): "Let his days be few; and let another take his position.")
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