...and have an uncola.
Posted on 07/31/2010 6:58:18 PM PDT by Kaslin
JOHN FROST and his wife had been unhappily married for much of their 25 years together when his company relocated him in 2000. So when he moved from Virginia to Knoxville, Tenn., he left her behind.
At first, it wasn’t clear what would happen next. Would she follow him? Or would they end up divorced?
The answer: neither. “After a few months,” Mr. Frost said, “we both realized we liked it this way.”
Technically, the two are married. They file joint tax returns; she’s covered by his insurance. But they see each other just several times a year. “Since separating we get along better than we ever have,” he said. “It’s kind of nice.”
And at 58, he sees no reason to divorce. Their children have grown and left home. He asked himself: Why bring in a bunch of lawyers? Why create rancor when there’s nowhere to go but down?
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Until one of the them dies or falls in love. There will be a mess afterward if one dies.
If I’d shot mine when I first wanted, I’d have been out by now.
This phenomenon is nothing new. People have been doing this for years. I know several folks with this kind of situation.
Why would there be a mess if one of them dies?
Why is this news and what is the agenda of NYT?
Sounds perfect to me. The perfect marriage: spouses live no less than 100 miles from each other.
...and have an uncola.
A couple at my church, who were celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary were asked how they succeeded. The wife didn’t skip a beat:
“He was in the Navy for 40 years, I only had to see him 3 months of each year”
Loved that answer!
Is the NYT this lazy that they have to recycle a story several HUNDRED years old?
This has been going on for centuries. It was particularly true in turn of the century because of the difficulty of divorce.
When the government was not recording marriages, people would just leave and the one who left would change name and start over.
Why should there be an agenda?
“God-awful”— isn’t that the usual agenda? Religious stuff like marriage just gets in the way and makes people miserable?
Yeah, I’ve known people who remained undivorced and lived on different continents and even different hemispheres. Couldn’t be more apart.
I’ve often said that if I were to ever get married again the best thing would be for him to purchase the condo next to mine.
That way he has his space and I have mine. He could decorate the way he wants to and me the same. We could share the same bed every night if we wanted to or not. Our lives would be entwined but we wouldn’t trip over each other.
I had an uncle and aunt who because his and her kids from their first marriages didn’t get along lived in the same town but separate residences. They had kids together and spent time together whenever they wanted. As far as I know it was a successful marriage.
It looks that way, besides the article was filed in the New You York Times under Fashion and Style. What it had to do with fashion and style, I have no idea
Leave it to the NY Times to pick up on a hot new trend that’s been around for as long as anybody remembers!
Religious stuff? No, legal stuff.
I thought my marriage would improve when we moved over 600 miles from my wife's family. Didn't take long before four of her siblings moved to the same area, and one moved into a house two weeks from us.
There'e enough drama in that bunch for several soap operas.
If it weren't for my 8 YO son, who I adore more than life itself, I'd be looking for a "road warrior" job.
Aww I’m sorry to hear that. That’s a tough situation for sure. Good luck.
sounds like the bedroom worked for u...but if u find your bed cold on the south side...*S*...check out his north side neighbor....*W*
Hmmm...coincidence that this article appears the same weekend Bill and Hillary are in the spotlight?
Thanks...I know life could be worse. At least I have a job to go to every day.
My wife & I will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary next month. And I Love, love, love her everyday.
MSM machine is starting up with all kinds of Hillary-concept support spin. It's gonna be the same damn thing all over again - the whole world is going to be trashed back down to her level so she doesn't stand out like a sore thumb.
20 years of lowest common denominator - the Clinton gift.
Sounds like Hillary and co are preparing for Obama to be a one term president.
I’m 58 also. We fight but if I don’t see Mrs. jimfree for 3 or 4 days it’s really hard. In the last 18 years we’ve been separated as much as 9 or 10 days maybe a couple times. I guess we aren’t like the folks in the story. I really love my girl.
I know you were intending some distance by that. It's such a wonderful construction though that I didn't want to trash it. What is intended by a house "two weeks from us"?
That is great
That is great
Darn, I didn’t mean to double post
I would htink the guy probably had the same answer in spades.
The bottom line is, if they are not having affairs with other people, if this is what works for them, and both don’t have a problem with it, they aren’t biblically doing anything wrong. Heck they said they get along better with each other this way.
Is it the way most married folks get by today? No. But apart from being faithful and taking care of each other, there’s nothing that says we all have to do it exactly the same way. At least they didn’t bail on each other.
My aunt by marriage has been divorced from my uncle for about 32-34 years...she never remarried. Her brother is also divorced. They’ve lived together for about 20 years...she says it’s a marriage made in heaven! ha! They always got along great. My cousin lived with them for many years, until she finally moved out on her own (at the age of 38). LOL....
Sounds like a great living arrangement..although I’m not sure I would equate it with marriage. I too have been divorced for...well almost as long as your aunt and at this stage in the game, well independence is best. I like men...I just don’t want one living in my house. :O
Except that the wedding ceremony for almost all of us is the most religious , independently-engaged in, public moment of our lives (adult baptism or ordinations being the exceptions I can think of). Those vows may hover over the other-wise moribund carcass of a marriage, but they may be very significant in not declaring it dead. Why is it not in the discussion in the NYT, I suspect it would at least be a factor in many personal histories and would be included in the discussion in most publications.
good point. Nothing is in NYT by accident — it’s all propaganda.
The “marriage made in heaven” part was meant as a joke...they have always gotten along, though, and financially, it was of great benefit to my aunt and for her brother, he had someone to share the cooking/house duties, etc. In fact, they have another sister and brother who all get along swell together. It has been an unusual arrangement for them; most could not bear something like that, but it’s worked out well for them over the years.
me too!
Just like the Clintons.
It just happened with my brother-in-law by marriage family.
Wife and hubby were separated. One of the kids paid for the funeral. separated spouse gets the life insurance and the kids are stuck with the funeral bill. Kids one to buy dad’s old car, but mom wants to sell it quick.
If they plan to do this...they better get the legal paperwork ready in case of death so it prevents this type of garbage.
Good catch, Jim...I meant two blocks. I probably could use two weeks without their drama. LOL!
Life insurance policies have a designated beneficiary. Many folks forget to change that designation when they divorce, so the legal beneficiary remains someone no longer ‘a part of the family’.
They seem to have a mom problem.
Couples who permanently separate should arrange things ahead of time in a will.
That’s what I was saying. These are things people don’t think about. PLUS in some states you have to leave certain things to the spouse and can’t by-pass them when you die.
So even if you “take care of it” they may find the estranged spouse still gets quite a bit of stuff.
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