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Does the black church keep black women single?
cnn ^ | August 10, 2010 | Liane Membis

Posted on 08/10/2010 5:45:32 PM PDT by tlb

it is this devout style of belief and attachment to the black church that is keeping black women single and lonely.

Cooper made claims that predominantly black protestant churches are the main reason black women are single. Cooper argues that rigid beliefs constructed by the black church are blinding black women in their search for love.

In raising the issue, Cooper ignited a public conversation about a topic that is increasingly getting attention in the black community and beyond. Oprah Winfrey, among others, recently hosted a show about single black women and relationships after a Yale University study found that 42 percent of African-American women in the United States were unmarried.

"Black women are interpreting the scriptures too literally. They want a man to which they are 'equally yoked' -- a man that goes to church five times a week and every Sunday.

"If they meet a black man that is not in church, they are automatically eliminated as a potential suitor. This is just limiting their dating pool."

"I don't think the church keeps black women single," Watkins says. "But I do agree that some black churches teach women that they must only date a man that goes to church regularly."

Watkins described his interactions with southern women who are devout churchgoers. "I am a male and I know that I will treat a woman well, but I have been rejected many times because I don't thump a bible with me everywhere that I go."

According to the PEW study, "African-American men are significantly more likely than women to be unaffiliated with any religion.

Cooper says her goal is to empower black women. If their strategy for meeting men is failing, Cooper offers two suggestions: Find another church or leave-and go where the boys go: tailgates, bars and clubs.

(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: blackchurch; blackfamily; church; dating; genderwars; marriage; standards; women
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I notice jail isn't mentioned as a factor in limiting spousal acceptability or reducing the dating pool.

1 posted on 08/10/2010 5:45:35 PM PDT by tlb
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To: tlb

I think the pop-culture celebration of perversity is a bigger factor


2 posted on 08/10/2010 5:47:01 PM PDT by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards.com <--- My Fiction/ Science Fiction Board)
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To: tlb

Or, if they teach love of men, like they teach love of country at rev wright’s “congregation”; that might be another limiting factor.


3 posted on 08/10/2010 5:48:32 PM PDT by correctthought (Hippies, want to change the world, but all they ever do is smoke pot and smell bad)
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To: tlb

Why is it the pidgin posse suffers the inverse syndrome? More young men in jail than in church? Obviously the women are going to have to change their odds sheets... to include white.


4 posted on 08/10/2010 5:49:30 PM PDT by himno hero
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To: tlb

They’re blaming black women for not wanting to go out with some male jailbird mack daddy with 20 bastard children?

Sorry. One of my black female friends (who was an attorney) once told me that the worst thing was that all black males, even the bums on the subway, felt that they had a “right” to her simply because she was black.

Black Christian women are absolutely right to keep their standards high. That’s the only thing that will bring black men up.


5 posted on 08/10/2010 5:49:38 PM PDT by livius
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To: tlb

Actually you can pin the blame for that on that bastard LBJ and every member of Congress who embraced his Great Society BS.


6 posted on 08/10/2010 5:52:04 PM PDT by jwalsh07
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To: tlb

The black church needs to look at what they are preaching and teaching that leads their members to vote for homosexuality and abortion, and leads to the catastrophic moral destruction of so many of their member’s families and lives.

The black churches are breeding foot soldiers for the anti-Christian left that calls for some humble, self reevaluation by the ministry.


7 posted on 08/10/2010 5:54:11 PM PDT by ansel12 (Mitt: "I was an independent during the time of Reagan-Bush. I'm not trying to return to Reagan-Bush")
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To: tlb

I’m sure that the proportion of black men who are either in jail or on probation has a lot to do with it, too.


8 posted on 08/10/2010 5:55:20 PM PDT by Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus (The success of Darwinism was accompanied by a decline in scientific integrity. - Dr. Wm R. Thompson)
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To: tlb

Since these “devout churchgoing women” obviously don’t have any out-of-wedlock children, the situation should resolve itself in one generation. Right?


9 posted on 08/10/2010 5:56:36 PM PDT by donna (Synonyms: Feminism, Marxism, Communism, Socialism, Fascism)
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To: livius
Working several decades in America's most integrated and diverse workforce allowed me to encounter (in a business sense) women of every possible background.

Yes, an awful lot of black women have a problem with black men who think they OWN THEM ~ and the guys with that attitude can be in top management, or sweeping floors.

10 posted on 08/10/2010 5:57:05 PM PDT by muawiyah
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To: jwalsh07

Well said.

I often point to the “Great Society” as the most racist outcome possible. Destroying the black family structure and producing 70% plus illegitimacy.


11 posted on 08/10/2010 5:58:13 PM PDT by nascarnation
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To: tlb

Another factor keeping black females single would be very large, unattractive white females who seem to have incredibly low dating standards, if any at all...


12 posted on 08/10/2010 6:00:47 PM PDT by chris37
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To: tlb
So where are all the feminists accusing Cooper of being a misogynist for forwarding a narrative in which the black woman has only the value she is imbued with through her man .

This is almost as absurd/hilarious as the likes of Gloria Steinem telling women to support the cause of their liberation by going on hunger strikes. Yeah right buddy, like shedding a few pounds is really gonna teach him not to objectify you.

13 posted on 08/10/2010 6:00:52 PM PDT by TheVitaminPress (as goes the Second Amendment . . . so goes the Constitution.)
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To: tlb

>>>>>>>>Watkins, who is African-American and whose father is a Southern Baptist minister, described his interactions with southern women who are devout churchgoers. “I am a male and I know that I will treat a woman well, but I have been rejected many times because I don’t thump a bible with me everywhere that I go.” >>>>>>>>>>

Thump a bible? That’s why he can’t get a date? How many people actually thump a bible everywhere they go? That is a typical liberal atheist slur against devout Christians.

I bet these black women would date a black man who went to church only ONCE a week, bible thumper or not. But that is apparently too high a bar. One third of young black men are in jail, on probation or parole. They would rather thump drugs into their bodies than thump a bible.


14 posted on 08/10/2010 6:01:04 PM PDT by heye2monn
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To: tlb
-- a man that goes to church five times a week and every Sunday.

Is the day he doesn't goto Church his day of rest. < /s>

15 posted on 08/10/2010 6:02:53 PM PDT by ReformedBeckite
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To: GeronL; tlb

Agreed. What “they” are asking is to find quality men in areas where quality men don’t exist. (Lets go beyond the color thing for a moment.. these are poor areas of the country, filled with crime and both white and black women have the same challenges)

It’s like asking a hunter to find and kill a polar bear in the Sedona desert. Worse, then blaming and making the hunter think he isn’t a worthy hunter because he can’t accomplish the task.

What we need here is another group besides “black women”. “Black Women” tells us that the problem has something to do with them being one of two things : Women, and black. Since being a woman is the heart of the issue of finding a male, Then the article tells us the problem is that they are black.

This is incorrect, and furthermore, extremely racist. Were a white woman in a black environment (Predominantly urban areas) she would face the same issue.

Ergo, Color is not the problem. Being in an area where cultural depravity is core - THIS is the issue. Again, by centering on her color, we are blind to the actual issue.

Liberalism. Liberalism is the cancer that eats away at the urban culture. The more and more single black ladies (And white.. lets not forget) who choose to strip instead of flip burgers because the money is better, or who dream of shaking their booty in a rap video that celebrates their sex-only existence - the further they will spiral into nothingness.


16 posted on 08/10/2010 6:03:55 PM PDT by Celerity
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To: muawiyah

It always struck me as truly bizarre. One time I was on the subway with my friend (who was good looking and dressed like what she was, an attorney for a major firm) and she was approached first by a bum on the platform and then by a bicycle messenger on the train who was about half her age. And they both seemed to feel they had a right to her because she was black.

It was an unpleasant experience, and I feel bad for black women who just want to live their lives and meet decent men.


17 posted on 08/10/2010 6:07:42 PM PDT by livius
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To: tlb

Statistically, black women are higher educated, have more professional jobs and make more money than black men. You want to marry an equal...

The reasons for these statistics are many and debatable.


18 posted on 08/10/2010 6:10:25 PM PDT by khnyny (Worst US environmental disaster EVER - BP Oil Spill in the Gulf - Obama's Fault!!!)
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To: livius
You think black men care? They're out dating white women. I live in the Fox Valley of WI which has one of the highest concentration of interracial relationships in the nation.

And the blacks I talked to, goes like this: White women are less preachy. They're more submissive and more caring and understanding. Black men get accused of doing everything under the sun when they're dating a black women. They can't even go to their friend's house without being accused of cheating. Plus there's the beef with the black women's family.

19 posted on 08/10/2010 6:11:55 PM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist (Mexico is the U.S. version of Hamas)
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To: livius
Sorry. One of my black female friends (who was an attorney) once told me that the worst thing was that all black males, even the bums on the subway, felt that they had a “right” to her simply because she was black.

Spot on...

20 posted on 08/10/2010 6:12:07 PM PDT by Osage Orange (MOLON LABE)
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To: livius
They’re blaming black women for not wanting to go out with some male jailbird mack daddy with 20 bastard children?

They're in jail mostly because it's black women who'll call the cops on them over some BS crap.

21 posted on 08/10/2010 6:13:28 PM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist (Mexico is the U.S. version of Hamas)
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist

Hmm, the CEO of HP (white, btw) just had to resign over some BS crap brought on by his white mistress...that’s just one story. Some white ex wife just screwed her major player ex husband to the wall - whistle blower fee. Of course she waited until after she received her settlement and got a double payday.

The only people who suffered over the HP fiasco were the innocent shareholders....the basturd got a HUGE settlement.


22 posted on 08/10/2010 6:24:03 PM PDT by khnyny (Worst US environmental disaster EVER - BP Oil Spill in the Gulf - Obama's Fault!!!)
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
They're in jail occasionally because it's black women who'll call the cops on them over some BS crap.

Fixed that for you.

23 posted on 08/10/2010 6:24:52 PM PDT by MichiganMan (Oprah: Commercial Beef Agriculture=Bad, Commercial Chicken Agriculture=Good...Wait, WTF???)
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To: himno hero

Indeed.


24 posted on 08/10/2010 6:26:57 PM PDT by RobbyS (Pray with the suffering souls.)
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To: MichiganMan

Your fix is half-right, but my main point is that black women aren’t exactly saints either.


25 posted on 08/10/2010 6:40:25 PM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist (Mexico is the U.S. version of Hamas)
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To: himno hero
Obviously the women are going to have to change their odds sheets... to include white.

That would only be reasonable, since for a decade or two the interracial marriage pattern hss been black man, white woman. But I know of at least a couple of counter examples who are somewhat younger folk. (I also know a guy of Japanese ancestry that is married to a rather Romanesque red-head of very pale complexion.

26 posted on 08/10/2010 6:46:56 PM PDT by El Gato ("The second amendment is the reset button of the US constitution"-Doug McKay)
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
Your fix is half-right, but my main point is that black women white trash women aren’t exactly saints either.
27 posted on 08/10/2010 6:47:18 PM PDT by Rebelbase (Political correctness in America today is a Rip Van Winkle acid trip.)
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To: livius
Black Christian women are absolutely right to keep their standards high <<

YUP!...but is that only after they have 3-4 kids that the rest of us have to support?...

The cart before the horse theory don't seem to be working for them...

28 posted on 08/10/2010 6:53:14 PM PDT by M-cubed
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To: chris37

“Another factor keeping black females single would be very large, unattractive white females who seem to have incredibly low dating standards, if any at all...”

That was very stubbly said.


29 posted on 08/10/2010 6:56:33 PM PDT by Bluebeard16
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To: donna
ouch!....lol...nail...meet hammer!....

got to be the shortest and best post on this thread!

30 posted on 08/10/2010 6:58:51 PM PDT by M-cubed
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To: GeronL
I think the pop-culture celebration of perversity is a bigger factor

BINGO! Because of it, most of the brothers who are not in jail try to become "players"--studs who are quite willing to make babies but not to rear them.

31 posted on 08/10/2010 7:03:00 PM PDT by madprof98 ("moritur et ridet" - salvianus)
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To: Celerity

I agree. I live in the South and I know that poor white women have as much of a problem as poor black women do. The only difference between blacks and whites is that middle class black women have the same problems as bottom of the line white trailer dwellers, while middle class white women can normally expect to marry well (or even marry at all - most black men don’t want to marry).

Things are changing and even upper middle class white women are having problems finding a mate now. Trash culture has struck everywhere, but I think it’s had more of an impact on men, although it’s possible that men see this otherwise. In any case, the lack of objective standards of behavior and good life goals is definitely the root of it all. Christian women of any color have that, and non Christian men of any color don’t. And non-Christian men are very common in the black community.


32 posted on 08/10/2010 7:22:31 PM PDT by livius
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To: muawiyah

What you are describing is a serious cultural and social dysfunction arising out of post-segregation voluntary segregation. The main problem “Black churches” have caused is the segregation of “Black churches.” Segregation, racial idenity and exclusiveness among a small group of people, is unhealthy. I thought after we demolished the legal and institutional system of formal segregation, we were smooth sailing.

Little did I not anticipate that the Democrat Party elite would revamp racial separation into a hard core political, social and cultural construct. There is power in racism and the Dems/socialists have always known how to design it and use it for power. And as always, underclass Black Americans suffer the most from it. Very sad.


33 posted on 08/10/2010 7:35:40 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: tlb
"Black women are interpreting the scriptures too literally. They want a man to which they are 'equally yoked' -- a man that goes to church five times a week and every Sunday.

I think the "don't be unequally yoked" emphasis is something seen in Protestant evangelical churches generally and is not limited to churches that have a congregation dominated by one race.

34 posted on 08/10/2010 7:38:31 PM PDT by thecodont
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To: livius

It’s important for you in the south to recognise the difference in South and North culture and attitudes. I say this with an utmost respect to the South : You’ve got it right.

Up here in the north there are a lot of Christian black males, and a lot of christian males in general. The churches in this area are socialist progressive churches (Think Rev. Wright) and the teachings of Christ have been replaced with a worship of Liberalism. The churches here may require membership to receive hand-outs and church benefits. Attendence is rarely voluntary (Regardless of color)

The end result is that even after years of church-going, the members will routinely still be involved in gang violence, frequent meetings with the Police and incarceration. Picture a mugshot of a tattooed gang member, with a larger-than-life crucifix necklace.

There are vast differences, still, within northern citizenry. Many jail-house conversions still remain after sentences are served: Some of our most powerful and effective christian ministers, deacons, and preachers mostly have a criminal past.

It also makes for an effective face-to-face with the troubled, the culturally deprived and the masses. No one will be converted by a millionaire, and a millionaire will rarely make the attempt.


35 posted on 08/10/2010 8:02:46 PM PDT by Celerity
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To: Bluebeard16

I have to confess that I am not quite sure what “stubbly” means aside from short facial hair, but I would ssume that it means abrasive or the like. I wasn’t trying to be abrasive, just stating what I see all the time around here in NW florida. It is a pattern that seems to repeat itself ad nauseum, and I do imagine that it does cause problems for black females seeking mates.


36 posted on 08/10/2010 8:27:23 PM PDT by chris37
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To: SaraJohnson
The main problem “Black churches” have caused is the segregation of “Black churches.” Segregation, racial idenity and exclusiveness among a small group of people, is unhealthy. I thought after we demolished the legal and institutional system of formal segregation, we were smooth sailing.

Unhealthy indeed but unlikely to change, ever. I've seen this voluntary segregation all my life, from military mess halls, at churches, within integrated schools. Some of this is a matter of geography but birds of a feather do tend to flock together, be they white birds or black birds. That's choice and that's freedom and no amount of legislation or preaching from the pulpit will change it. My belief is that it will not be that way in Heaven, all having the same Father, we will truly be brothers and sisters.

37 posted on 08/10/2010 8:32:13 PM PDT by Graybeard58 (Nobody reads tag lines.)
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To: tlb
Cooper offers two suggestions: Find another church or leave-and go where the boys go: tailgates, bars and clubs.

Oh yeah, that'll work out well.

38 posted on 08/10/2010 8:34:22 PM PDT by Graybeard58 (Nobody reads tag lines.)
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To: livius; muawiyah

I’ve seen this myself and could not understand what was going on.

There was a small number of black men doing construction / repair work next to a shop I work in. The location is a very busy street in downtown Boston and my desk faces a huge floor to ceiling window. Between the window and my going out for a smoke on a regular basis I’ve seen these guys say the most dreadful things to black women of every stripe. But only black women. Maybe they’re saying things to each other about other women but to black women they are very vocal, lots of gestures and so on. Most of the women say nothing, a few turn around and swear at the guys.

But none of the black women appear to be shocked by the behavior.


39 posted on 08/10/2010 8:34:36 PM PDT by warsaw44
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To: jwalsh07

Yes, in the name of compassion the American people and their “leaders” are abject failures.


40 posted on 08/10/2010 8:47:55 PM PDT by Theodore R. (Rush was right when he said America may survive Obama but not the Obama supporters.)
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To: khnyny

These women should have memorized the saying “Why buy a cow if you can get the milk free?”


41 posted on 08/10/2010 8:52:55 PM PDT by jch10 (Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war...)
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To: tlb
No, welfare keeps them single. And pregnant.
42 posted on 08/10/2010 9:16:29 PM PDT by Major Matt Mason (Never trust a liberal.)
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To: Major Matt Mason

Dude! ... Wait ... What? Welfare keeps them pregnant? ... How’s that work?


43 posted on 08/10/2010 9:22:41 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Dem voters, believing they cannot be deceived, it is impossible to convince them when deceived.)
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To: tlb

70% of black children born out of wedlock. That means a lot of single mothers, and developing a deep relationship with a single mother is different than developing one with a single woman. There’s a whole other person to consider, and two if the bio-father is still “around”. Most men, especially young men, aren’t prepared for level of commitment.


44 posted on 08/11/2010 12:07:11 AM PDT by Clock King (Ellisworth Toohey was right: My head's gonna explode.)
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To: MichiganMan

Well, to be honest, white Italian women who think they’re black do the same thing. That’s how I got VAWA’ed.


45 posted on 08/11/2010 2:59:29 AM PDT by NorthStarStateConservative (I'm just another disabled naturalized minority vegan pro life conservative.)
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist

Eddie Murphy had a similar explanation in RAW about something else White women would do right away.


46 posted on 08/11/2010 6:37:29 AM PDT by massgopguy (I owe everything to George Bailey)
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To: ansel12
The black church needs to look at what they are preaching and teaching that leads their members to vote for homosexuality and abortion, and leads to the catastrophic moral destruction of so many of their member’s families and lives.

The black churches are breeding foot soldiers for the anti-Christian left that calls for some humble, self reevaluation by the ministry.

'Amen ve'amen.

47 posted on 08/11/2010 7:39:02 AM PDT by Zionist Conspirator (Som tasim `aleykha melekh 'asher yivchar HaShem 'Eloqeykha bo . . .)
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To: jwalsh07
Say it again brotha!

"Actually you can pin the blame for that on that bastard LBJ and every member of Congress who embraced his Great Society BS."

Add to that every Liberal in government and every RINO since then. They have conspired, and succeeded in destroying the Black family.

48 posted on 08/11/2010 7:44:30 AM PDT by Republic of Texas (Socialism Always Fails)
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To: tlb

How many of them are already married to the government?

The Left have been doing their best, and largely succeeding, at replacing all women’s fathers and husbands with government.

Just check the voting trends.

(Uh yeah, for those women who think talking in generalities means I’m talking about them, if you don’t fit the generalization, then it is not about you. Remember, IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU.)


49 posted on 08/11/2010 8:18:12 AM PDT by MichiganConservative (A government big enough to do unto the people you don't like will get to doing unto you soon enough.)
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To: Extremely Extreme Extremist
but my main point is that black women aren’t exactly saints either.

Women aren't exactly saints - regardless of color.

Men aren't exactly saints - regardless of color.

This article talks about the generality that a higher percentage of black women than white women remain single. It isolates ONE potential contributor to that phenomenon and does a pretty pathetic job of making the argument. Your post suggested a different potential contributor to that phenomenon - albeit one with less credibility and no research to back it up. I would expect (also with no research to support my supposition) that the number of black men who are in jail "because it's black women who'll call the cops on them over some BS crap" makes up a miniscule percentage of the prison population.

50 posted on 08/11/2010 9:16:43 AM PDT by VRWCmember
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