Skip to comments.'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Discharges Hit Lesbians Hardest
Posted on 08/16/2010 11:09:38 AM PDT by sickoflibs
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Agree 100%. Thankfully, the guys relaying the story to my friend were pretty disgusted by the whole thing. Rather like drilling a hole in the wall. Also takes some of the fun of consensual, er, discovery. Doubt the guys told the tattle-tales off. Impression was the guys didn't show a reaction in the hopes the blabber mouth would go away.
I am glad to hear that is how they handled it.
Also lesbians have lovers spats, sometimes leading up to physical fights, and sometimes there is physical abuse in the relationship that would be called clearly Domestic Violence if it were a Man-Woman couple.
I've read of TWO civilian assaults within the past year. One in the UK, one US. The more masculine partner in both cases was trying to force pregnancy on a partner... There needs to be some real honesty out there. Judging by these two cases ... there is some serious abuse going on between same sex couples. But that does not fit the meme, so we only hear about hetro male against hetero female.
The Domestic Violence "system" is clearly set up to deal with heterosexual men battering heterosexual women, and apparently what doesn't fit into that category doesn't get treated as Domestic Violence.
Same sex Domestic Abuse seems to b treated more like two equals fighting - like if two same sex heterosexual college roommates were fighting over something - it would be treated as assault but not as Domestic Violence.
Doing a search online for "Lesbian Domestic Violence" brings up some stories that people who work in emergency rooms see a lot more women severely beaten up by their same sex partner than is reported.
And I really feel sorry for any hetro man getting abused by a woman. They're totally screwed. Probably be hard to bring a case.
Doing a search online for information it becomes clear that the only thing a heterosexual man can do in such a situation is to leave her.
What options does an abused man have?
What can you do if you, the male, are being abused? Under the current laws virtually the only alternative is to leave before you end up in jail as a result of her attacks. That is not the answer you want to hear but it is the only realistic one under current ... laws. If you have children, or own a home, you will be infinitely better off in a divorce if you leave before you are charged with domestic violence than after. You may be able to take the children with you, or to their grandparents, but talk with an attorney first.
Trying to stick it out and help when a woman is battering you is probably not going to work as Harry Stewart, among many others, found.
You will be arrested and jailed if she charges you with domestic violence, or 911 is dialed during an argument. You will then have only the clothes you are wearing at the time of the arrest. Your children will be left in the custody of your spouse, or taken to a foster home. If you have a police officer accompany you, you can return one time to get any items from your home that are undisputed, and that can be moved in that time period. But note that the police are there to protect her, not you, a fact that cost a University of Colorado professor his life when his wife shot him in the presence of a female Boulder police officer in December, 1997.
It is also very likely that she will later charge you with physical or sexual abuse of your children after she charges you with domestic violence or abuse.
Your best bet might be the tactic many women use: If you file a restraining order first, then she must leave the house. If you have visible injuries from her abuse, you are certainly entitled to file a restraining order or domestic violence charges against her. Do not expect cooperation from the "male-haters anonymous," excuse us, "victim's assistance" women at the courthouse. As a test, a local group had both a man and a woman try to file a restraining order based on exactly the same charges. The woman was given the order, the man was rebuffed. Thus, you are well-advised to have an attorney with you when filing. If filing first isn't feasible, wait till she goes to work, or is out of the house, then pack up what you can and get out. Depending on circumstances, your attorney might even advise you to take the children with you, or leave them with the grandparents if you have to leave your home. Men with abusive wives have nightmares about leaving their children to the tender mercies of the woman as such women also commonly abuse children.
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