There’s a book titled ‘Unhooked’ that I read and it took a few weeks to get the shocked look off my face (http://www.amazon.com/Unhooked-Young-Women-Pursue-Delay/dp/B001A5UV8K/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&ie=UTF8&qid=1284876686&sr=8-1)
In it, young people are bathed in a society (ours) so alien and backward that it takes awhile...well...to get the shocked look off your face. It’s a research study of high schoolers and college women and what they have been raised to believe and expect. The women’s lib movement said that women are not just sexual objects but are persons with careers, aspirations etc. The current ‘movement’ among young women is to be seen as equal to men in aggression (including sexual) and casual and indifferent about sex in order to fight the stereotype that women want love from men (which is seen as weak, gullible foolishness) at the same moment men want sex from women (refers to the dating scene). In this new scenario - young women try to saunter around seducing or being seduced without a backward glance (rugged, macho detachment, no emotional entanglements). So you have Lady Gaga walking around nearly nude or dressed in raw meat - this is an extension of sexual aggression and the desire to be sexual in the same way that young teen men are or want to be seen as fearlessly sexual and impervious to emotional entanglements. So on the topic of rape, I can see that young women and girls are ‘talking tough’ and ‘posing’ as sexually experienced and fearless. That’s Lady Gaga’s claim - she’s fearless. I believe our young people are saturated with fear and are dreaming up new ways to look fearless as we speak (or write). So that sick ‘like’ button on FB was probably a pose to imply that one is sexually adventurous, willing, and fearless - unafraid of even such crimes as rape (sets them apart from their mothers generation, doesn’t it?) I remember meeting a 22 year old woman who said she was sexually assaulted while traveling in India - she paused and looked coolly over her shoulder at me while saying “But I was too mature to let something like that bother me.” Her comment was intended to wipe the look of compassion off my face - I could tell the assault did bother her very much but it was important to her that she be seen as invulnerable, fearless, above emotional pain etc.
The posting of young people clicking a ‘like’ button about rape of course has nothing to do with reality - either their own level of personal fear or their own misconception of rape. I think it is meant to sexually outrage in a time that has maxed out, run out of, topics of sexual outrage. I believe the young feel preyed upon but desperate not to ‘get hurt’ or ‘get involved’ and most of all, want to be accepted. Strange, sick world unlike any I recall. In the book I mentioned - the college co-eds saw no point in dating and would be baffled if asked out on a date - asking each other WHY would he WANT to...to..date? Caution if you try the book - it’s as explicit as it is depressing. But I am glad I read it because I’d never have guessed the changes in our society without that shocking wake up call.
“I believe the young feel preyed upon but desperate not to get hurt or get involved and most of all, want to be accepted. Strange, sick world unlike any I recall.”
Thanks for the informative (and scary - I’m a dad of three teenagers!) post. Although that sentence you wrote (above) is probably how it has always been. Just different ways of coping with it. And now the way to “cope” with it is to “just do it” with no strings attached. I hope that my kids will stay on the right path. We have lots of bad examples to point out to them on how just one poor choice can change your life.