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Avoid These Office Buzzwords
Yahoo ^ | October 4, 2010 | Marlys Harris

Posted on 10/04/2010 7:34:07 AM PDT by ConservativeStatement

Last year about this time, I posted a list (plus definitions and correct usage) of the office cliches least loved by a random sampling of executives polled by Accountemps. You may — like me — be too snobby and old-fashioned to want to sling the lingo, but you've got to know it or run the risk that your peers and superiors deem you hopelessly out of the loop. (Oops, there's a tired office phrase if there ever was one!) That's why I have made it my personal mission to keep you up to date.

(Excerpt) Read more at finance.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: boss; yahoo
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Taken from Yahoo's front page: "If your boss tells you to "take it offline" during a meeting, here's what she really means."

Why does the writer use "she" to describe a generic boss? What happens if the boss is a transgendered person confused about his or her identity in this everchaging mosaic that is America? What a sexist! /sarc

1 posted on 10/04/2010 7:34:13 AM PDT by ConservativeStatement
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To: ConservativeStatement
I've noticed that

Fag(ott), AIDS Monkey, retard, and all but the most clever of racial epithets are pretty much frowned upon, at least at my office.

2 posted on 10/04/2010 7:36:19 AM PDT by South Hawthorne (In Memory of my Dear Friend Henry Lee II)
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To: ConservativeStatement

I think I’ll circle back & take a 30 thousand foot overview of this story.


3 posted on 10/04/2010 7:37:07 AM PDT by Puppage (You may disagree with what I have to say, but I shall defend to your death my right to say it)
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To: ConservativeStatement

KPI (Key Punching Idiot)


4 posted on 10/04/2010 7:37:44 AM PDT by DManA
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To: ConservativeStatement
Two of my favorite bits of jargon come from a reader in the U.K. who says he made them up. The first: is "failure cascade", which he defines as a "sequence of bad stuff happening." An example might be: "The knowledge economy seems to be in a failure cascade." "Bus factor," he says, is a measure of how much the company would suffer if person X got hit by a bus. Example: "Billy has a really high bus factor." He reports that both phrases seem to be catching on.

This is my favorite part of the article.

5 posted on 10/04/2010 7:38:47 AM PDT by Tax-chick (I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.)
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To: ConservativeStatement

6 posted on 10/04/2010 7:39:52 AM PDT by Red Badger (No, Obama's not the Antichrist. But he does have him in his MY FAVES.............)
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To: Puppage

As long as you do your due diligence.


7 posted on 10/04/2010 7:41:58 AM PDT by Huck (We need the spirit of '76, not the spirit of '87)
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To: Tax-chick

I hate:

Think outside the box

Proactive in that/this area


8 posted on 10/04/2010 7:42:13 AM PDT by Red Badger (No, Obama's not the Antichrist. But he does have him in his MY FAVES.............)
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To: ConservativeStatement

The propensity for women writers to use the feminine third person is becoming pretty standard. Every textbook I’ve read during graduate school has been written with “she,” while the male writers use neuter such as “they, them, their, etc.” However, the latter usages are still frowned upon as poor English in lieu of using “he and/or she.”

The academics (and journalists) are completely steeped in radical feminism, and “gender studies” in any discipline usually means investigating the impact of something on women. Men are always excluded.


9 posted on 10/04/2010 7:42:49 AM PDT by rarestia (It's time to water the Tree of Liberty.)
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To: Tax-chick
Bus factor," he says, is a measure of how much the company would suffer if person X got hit by a bus.

It used to be "If person X got hit by a bus, or won the lottery, where would we be?"

The more office-friendly and efficient phrasology has become "What if person X gets hit by the lottery?"
10 posted on 10/04/2010 7:43:36 AM PDT by ConservativeWarrior (In last year's nests, there are no birds this year.)
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To: ConservativeStatement

At the end of the day, most of this co-depends upon the adjacencies of deliverables in the context of an end-to-end right-sized, yet scalable solution.


11 posted on 10/04/2010 7:44:23 AM PDT by Attention Surplus Disorder ("No longer can we make no mistake for too long". Barack d****it 0bama, 2009, 2010, 2011.)
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To: ConservativeStatement

Also: “getting grounded”, “architect” used a verb, and “paradigm”.


12 posted on 10/04/2010 7:44:49 AM PDT by Proud2BeRight
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To: ConservativeWarrior
"What if person X gets hit by the lottery?"

LOL! If a manager distributed lottery tickets to *some* of his employees, could that be considered a bad performance review?

13 posted on 10/04/2010 7:44:59 AM PDT by Tax-chick (I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.)
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To: ConservativeStatement

I am hopelessly “out of the loop” by choice.


14 posted on 10/04/2010 7:45:24 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: ConservativeStatement

I hate:

Lather
Rinse
Repeat

Stooopidddd!


15 posted on 10/04/2010 7:45:37 AM PDT by AlmaKing
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To: ConservativeStatement

16 posted on 10/04/2010 7:46:19 AM PDT by dfwgator (Texas Rangers - AL West Champions)
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To: ConservativeStatement

And “push back”


17 posted on 10/04/2010 7:47:25 AM PDT by Proud2BeRight
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To: Ditter

Didn’t you get the memo?


18 posted on 10/04/2010 7:47:38 AM PDT by dfwgator (Texas Rangers - AL West Champions)
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To: Red Badger

I agree - both of those are annoying, especially “outside the box,” coming from people who aren’t even competent inside the box!


19 posted on 10/04/2010 7:50:41 AM PDT by Tax-chick (I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.)
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To: Tax-chick

Or from people you’d like to see permanently ejected from the box!


20 posted on 10/04/2010 7:54:10 AM PDT by knittnmom ("...only dead fish 'go with the flow'". - Sarah Palin 7/09)
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To: Tax-chick
Every time I hear "Proactive in that/this area" I think of this stuff. And they probably need it...........
21 posted on 10/04/2010 7:56:23 AM PDT by Red Badger (No, Obama's not the Antichrist. But he does have him in his MY FAVES.............)
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To: ConservativeStatement

A revolting phrase making the rounds in political circles is “speaking truth to power”. Hannity, Cunningham, and Levin seem to just love it.


22 posted on 10/04/2010 7:57:42 AM PDT by SpaceBar
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To: ConservativeStatement

Brainstorming....


23 posted on 10/04/2010 8:00:19 AM PDT by lysie (The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left- Ecclesiastes10:2)
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To: ConservativeStatement

My pet peave is “leaning forward” on an issue. Throw a few management buzz words in, and everyone’s okay so long as you have a “get well plan”.


24 posted on 10/04/2010 8:01:24 AM PDT by Londo Molari
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To: ConservativeStatement
"Does that make sense?"

The next time someone says that to me, so help me....

25 posted on 10/04/2010 8:01:44 AM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: ConservativeStatement

It is what it is.


26 posted on 10/04/2010 8:01:49 AM PDT by Emile (Leftists are so 'open-minded', their brains have fallen out. -- (HT to GOPJ))
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To: Owl_Eagle

My personal favorit is “That’s what she said!”


27 posted on 10/04/2010 8:01:56 AM PDT by CSM (Keeper of the "Dave Ramsey Fan" ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Owl_Eagle

I spent 2 years in an office where they weren’t frowned upon and had a blast but you needed a thick skin. I’ve been trying to clean up my mouth ever since.


28 posted on 10/04/2010 8:02:10 AM PDT by perez24 (Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.)
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To: ConservativeStatement

The Company has exhibited leadership by enhancing the facilitation of synergistic, scalable core-competancy paradigm-shifts vis-a-vis the most granular service point of difference, empowering the ongoing assurance of the product architecture being functionally equivalent and parallel to the longitudinal business-practice shift postulated by the use of mission-critical management dialog technology on a go-forward basis, in accordance with ISO-9001:2008 standards.


29 posted on 10/04/2010 8:02:10 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The battle lines are drawn: On one side, are Dems and Repubs. On the other, the Tea Party (us).)
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To: dfwgator

Paragigm is twenty cents.


30 posted on 10/04/2010 8:04:59 AM PDT by Fresh Wind (King: "I have a dream"...Sharpton: "I want a check")
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To: Lazamataz

Oh, jeez, if our VP gets hold of that we won’t be hearing anything else...


31 posted on 10/04/2010 8:05:03 AM PDT by greatplains
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To: lysie
” multi-tasking “ drove me nuts for years.

The use of the word “ power “ in front of any other word would drive me to the verge of insanity:
power nap
power walk
power tie

32 posted on 10/04/2010 8:05:08 AM PDT by warsaw44
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To: Fresh Wind

Sorry, bad pun.

Paradigm is twenty cents.


33 posted on 10/04/2010 8:05:41 AM PDT by Fresh Wind (King: "I have a dream"...Sharpton: "I want a check")
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To: Lazamataz

34 posted on 10/04/2010 8:07:00 AM PDT by lysie (The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left- Ecclesiastes10:2)
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To: warsaw44

I’d rather hear fingernails on a chalkboard. ;-)


35 posted on 10/04/2010 8:08:07 AM PDT by lysie (The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left- Ecclesiastes10:2)
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To: Lazamataz

“I talk pretty some day”


36 posted on 10/04/2010 8:09:20 AM PDT by maine yankee
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To: Lazamataz

I’d love to hear the mayor of Boston or Jesse Jackson say that.


37 posted on 10/04/2010 8:09:35 AM PDT by ConservativeStatement (Obama "acted stupidly.")
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To: knittnmom

Into the stratosphere!


38 posted on 10/04/2010 8:09:35 AM PDT by Tax-chick (I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.)
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To: Huck

That is sooo 1990’s.


39 posted on 10/04/2010 8:11:05 AM PDT by CholeraJoe (Just cause Dr. Oz said it, doesn't make it true.)
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To: ConservativeStatement
My favorites are Caveat and Selective Ignorance.
40 posted on 10/04/2010 8:12:52 AM PDT by ▀udda▀udd (7 days - 7 ways Guero >>> with a floating, shifting, ever changing persona.....)
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To: Lazamataz

Your post is clearly aligned to best practices.


41 posted on 10/04/2010 8:14:27 AM PDT by Blueflag (Res ipsa loquitur)
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To: ├čudda├čudd

“Caveat and Selective Ignorance.”

The more annoying is Willfull Ignorance...esp whrn it is the ‘boss’.


42 posted on 10/04/2010 8:18:19 AM PDT by ASOC (What are you doing now that Mexico has become OUR Chechnya?)
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To: ConservativeStatement

Whenever I hear “at the end of the day”, I make sure to put my hand up and ask if he thinks it will be done by 5 or 6 PM, or should I call home and say I’ll be late. They’re starting to get the hint.


43 posted on 10/04/2010 8:25:24 AM PDT by jiggyboy (Ten per cent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
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To: Owl_Eagle
True story: a co-worker of mine was yelled at by a female by the quip: "Shut up, hetero!" a couple of months ago while on a business trip to San Fran.

I was totally surprised. I figured for sure the guy was a closet case. /s

44 posted on 10/04/2010 8:26:48 AM PDT by Sam's Army
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To: ASOC; ├čudda├čudd

Here’s one that’s still timely:

“Malignant Incompetence” - used to describe Barack Obama.


45 posted on 10/04/2010 8:28:05 AM PDT by tarheelswamprat
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To: CholeraJoe
That is sooo 1990’s.

You're thinking 9/10 in a 9/12 world.

46 posted on 10/04/2010 8:34:29 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The battle lines are drawn: On one side, are Dems and Repubs. On the other, the Tea Party (us).)
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To: tarheelswamprat

LOL

That there’s funny, I don’t care what you say....


47 posted on 10/04/2010 8:41:51 AM PDT by ASOC (What are you doing now that Mexico has become OUR Chechnya?)
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To: Emile

Someone I work with says that “it is what it is” at least a few times a day. And says, “I’ll be out of pocket” to mean he cannot be reached at certain times, and several other strange probably trendy buzzword things that I don’t keep up with. I always ask him to explain himself when he uses the strange phrases. Not sure which one of us looks dumb....


48 posted on 10/04/2010 8:45:06 AM PDT by NEMDF
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To: jiggyboy

FUNNY.... That is what I would do. Others I seem to hear frequently: “that is a no-brainer” (but seems to be used to brand people as stupid if they don’t make the decision to buy, without consideration as to their circumstances), and “that is a sister-kisser” (to indicate a no net gain or loss factor in a decision), which always has me thinking about disgusting images of people kissing their siblings.


49 posted on 10/04/2010 8:49:15 AM PDT by NEMDF
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To: NEMDF

I have a vendor... several contacts over the years who all use the expression “reach out to”. That is the corporate mantra. The employees probably have to write it 1000 times before they get their own password for the computers.

It makes me ABSOLUTELY INSANE. There, I feel better now.


50 posted on 10/04/2010 9:01:47 AM PDT by Jaded (I realized that after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F)
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