Skip to comments.Breaking: Senator Boxer Calls for a Constitutional Amendment Separating Speaking and Thinking.
Posted on 10/28/2010 9:11:27 AM PDT by Islander7
In a move which has arm-chair Constitutional Scholars scrambling, Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA), called for a new Amendment to the US Constitution which would finally put up a wall between thinking and speaking. "All this thinking then speaking Conservatives do, is destroying the very fabric of America. I feel it;" Boxer said from a West Hollywood Ashram. "The Constitution I had read to me by The Late Jim Henson, while in the character of Oscar, made it very clear: feel instead of think, and speak from feelings. This speaking from thinking is just inhumane, and I am going to put a stop to it!"
Hollywood was quick to respond with many words of support: "I feel she is right, but I won't think about it, because we must show solidarity, and thinking is always crass, and I try to avoid it," said Richard Gere. We tried to contact Johnny Depp for a comment, but his agent said Mr. Depp was not available for comment as he is on a sprirtual retreat, to understand his inner-self, via coffee enemas and masturbating frequently. We can only assume this means he stands with Senator Boxer, since what could cause more feelings, rather than thinking, than coffee enemas and masturbation?
From the political world, support for the Senator's proposal seems to be bipartisan. Congressman Ron Paul, (R-Mars) was quick to add: "Thinking only clutters your mind, and we all know those damn Jews were behind 911." When it was pointed out to Rep Paul, Senator Boxer is herself a Jew, he replied: "You think I can't tell that by just looking at her? I know what she is and in spite of it she has hit on something here. Thinking should be outlawed".
Senator Boxer said she was clearing the decks to muster support for her new Amendment. "I have to concentrate on my Halloween costume, but as soon as I have that figured out, the good voters of California should know, I will work tirelessly, three hours per month, putting into the Constitution, that which all of California has been doing since 1974: Feeling instead of thinking".
Haven’t heard that one, I like it!