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Donít Touch My Junk
National Review ^ | 19 Nov 2010 | Charles Krauthammer

Posted on 11/19/2010 4:29:36 AM PST by Rummyfan

The junk man’s revolt marks the point at which a docile public declares that it will tolerate only so much idiocy.

Ah, the airport, where modern folk heroes are made. The airport, where that inspired flight attendant did what everyone who’s ever been in the spam-in-a-can crush of a flying aluminum tube — where we collectively pretend that a clutch of peanuts is a meal and a seat cushion is a “flotation device” — has always dreamed of doing: pull the lever, blow the door, explode the chute, grab a beer, slide to the tarmac, and walk through the gates to the sanity that lies beyond. Not since Rick and Louis disappeared into the Casablanca fog headed for the Free French garrison in Brazzaville has a stroll on the tarmac thrilled so many.

Who cares that the crazed steward got arrested, pleaded guilty to sundry charges, and probably was a rude, unpleasant S.O.B to begin with? Bonnie and Clyde were psychopaths, yet what child of the ’60s did not fall in love with Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty?

(Excerpt) Read more at nationalreview.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: charleskrauthammer; junk; krauthammer; tsa; tsapervs
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1 posted on 11/19/2010 4:29:37 AM PST by Rummyfan
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To: Rummyfan
See Me, Feel Me
2 posted on 11/19/2010 4:35:43 AM PST by C210N (0bama, Making the US safe for Global Marxism)
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To: Rummyfan

Amen, Dr. Krauthammer.


3 posted on 11/19/2010 4:38:07 AM PST by NautiNurse (ObamaCare uses Bernie Madoff theory of economics)
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To: Rummyfan

If you saw Charles on Bret Beier a couple of days back, you’d know he was really amused by the term “junk” - I guess in his circles he’s never come across the word in that context, and presumably he hadn’t even seen the movie “Juno”.

But be that as it may, he was having loads of fun with the word, like a little kid who just learned a new euphemism for something off-color. I really respect K’s insights and ability to frame an issue, but it was somehow endearing to see this side of him.


4 posted on 11/19/2010 4:39:08 AM PST by Stosh
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To: Rummyfan

Very much agree with Charles, but Charles saying, “don’t touch my junk”, makes me cringe just a little bit.


5 posted on 11/19/2010 4:45:43 AM PST by VeeP22
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Ah yes!—the new rallying Battle Cry to save our Republic. I can see it now, instead of millions of our yellow Gadsen flags at our next tea Parties, there will be millions of “Don’t Touch My Junk” flags. The possibilites are endless.


6 posted on 11/19/2010 4:48:34 AM PST by NOBO2
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To: Rummyfan

While I applaud the guy I would never refer to MY sex organ as “junk”.


7 posted on 11/19/2010 4:52:21 AM PST by raybbr (Someone who invades another country is NOT an immigrant - illegal or otherwise.)
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To: Rummyfan

by far THE MOST ENTERTAINING thing I’ve ever read from Krauthammer. Vividly written, almost in a style that recalls
the great Mark Steyn , which Kraut has NEVER reminded me of.
Krauthammer’s prose usually breathes a bit more pontification, and a lot less black humor. This piece was really good, and kept rounding the bases to make more and more great points.


8 posted on 11/19/2010 4:57:54 AM PST by supremedoctrine (Come closer. I want to get a better look at you.)
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To: NOBO2
The possibilites are endless.

Indeed.

Don't Touch My Junk!

9 posted on 11/19/2010 4:58:13 AM PST by houeto ("You know, I actually believe my own bullsh_t," --- BHO)
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To: C210N

10 posted on 11/19/2010 4:58:40 AM PST by billorites (freepo ergo sum)
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To: Rummyfan

I have a question.
I haven’t flown since the “enhanced” frisking has started, but I will be taking a trip in March.
Is the full image scan or the frisking a required thing for everyone?, or is it for the folks that win the airport lottery and get pulled out of line?.
I have a co-worker that took a business trip 2 weeks ago and he was saying it was the same old same old. Take off your shoes, pull out your lap-top and go through the metal detector..


11 posted on 11/19/2010 4:59:45 AM PST by TexasM1A
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To: raybbr
While I applaud the guy I would never refer to MY sex organ as “junk”.

"Little Buddy?"

12 posted on 11/19/2010 5:00:04 AM PST by billorites (freepo ergo sum)
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To: raybbr
"While I applaud the guy I would never refer to MY sex organ as “junk”."

That was the first thing I thought too. My reaction would be "Touch the family Jewels and I will lay your ass out!"

13 posted on 11/19/2010 5:01:14 AM PST by DeaconRed (Touch the family Jewels without my permission and you are DEAD! ! ! !)
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To: Rummyfan

Why don’t we all just carry a copy of the Bill of Rights, with the 4th Amendment highlighted, and show it to the TSA inspector (and his supervisor) and tell them to “BACK OFF”?

When I was commissioned in the USMC I took an oath:

“I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely; and without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter; So help me God.”

Although I have not been on active duty since 1978, I still take that oath very seriously. Semper Fidelis - ALWAYS faithful.


14 posted on 11/19/2010 5:01:42 AM PST by BwanaNdege ("a comeuppance is due the arrogant elites" - Charles Krauthammer)
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To: Rummyfan
"What the modern battle cry lacks in archaic charm, it makes up for in full-body syllabic punch."

While I like "Don't touch my junk", I guess an iambic pentameter soliloquy reminiscent of Henry V is out of the question for the modern times... : )
15 posted on 11/19/2010 5:05:21 AM PST by Old Teufel Hunden
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To: billorites
"Little Buddy?"

How about "Touch my penis or testicles and I will have you arrested!"?

Why do Americans have to refer to their body parts by different names?

16 posted on 11/19/2010 5:06:00 AM PST by raybbr (Someone who invades another country is NOT an immigrant - illegal or otherwise.)
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To: Rummyfan

I hope we’ve reached that point, but frankly it scares me that we let it go this far. We really have turned into a nation of sheep.


17 posted on 11/19/2010 5:07:21 AM PST by CharlesWayneCT
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To: BwanaNdege
Along with a copy of the Bill of Rights, I would also show this to the TSA:


18 posted on 11/19/2010 5:08:57 AM PST by BwanaNdege ("a comeuppance is due the arrogant elites" - Charles Krauthammer)
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To: BwanaNdege

Do we have any Freepers who can make this photo into a “motivational poster”, complete with the 4th Amendment as a caption?


19 posted on 11/19/2010 5:11:08 AM PST by BwanaNdege ("a comeuppance is due the arrogant elites" - Charles Krauthammer)
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To: billorites
"Little Buddy?"

"You want to seach what?!?"


20 posted on 11/19/2010 5:12:59 AM PST by Jonah Hex ("Please call me Senator Leech, General. I worked so hard for that title.")
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To: Jonah Hex

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2010/11/dear-airline-im-leaving-you/66750/

Funny column addressing the TSA.


21 posted on 11/19/2010 5:15:12 AM PST by Not gonna take it anymore
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To: raybbr
"Why do Americans have to refer to their body parts by different names?"

That is between me and "Mr. Happy."

22 posted on 11/19/2010 5:15:42 AM PST by billorites (freepo ergo sum)
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To: Rummyfan

The “Junks Man” faces an $11,000 TSA fine for “leaving a secure area without permission.”


23 posted on 11/19/2010 5:24:11 AM PST by luvbach1 (Stop Barry now. He can't help himself.)
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To: raybbr

“Why do Americans have to refer to their body parts by different names? “

We Americans have always had a taste for euphemisms - What in Sam Hill? tarnation, darn it, dang it, etc, etc.


24 posted on 11/19/2010 5:28:58 AM PST by Daveinyork
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To: Old Teufel Hunden
While I like "Don't touch my junk", I guess an iambic pentameter soliloquy reminiscent of Henry V is out of the question for the modern times... : )

To touch or not to touch,
Aye, there's the rub.
As through a scanner darkly, to suffer outrageous misfortune
To have ones jewels familial fondled by a queen,
Or to stand fast, yea tall, to seize the day and cry "Enough!
Lay on once more and dread the coming of mine solicitor."
While yet another Moorish villain slinks by bent on vile mischief.

What fools these bureaucrats be.

25 posted on 11/19/2010 5:29:06 AM PST by Jonah Hex ("Please call me Senator Leech, General. I worked so hard for that title.")
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To: billorites

How about “Mr. Winky”?


26 posted on 11/19/2010 5:30:05 AM PST by RexBeach
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To: Rummyfan
...do you really think I’m a Nigerian nut job preparing for my 72-virgin orgy by blowing my johnson to kingdom come?

Great line!

27 posted on 11/19/2010 5:35:16 AM PST by 6SJ7 (atlasShruggedInd = TRUE)
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To: Daveinyork
We Americans have always had a taste for euphemisms - What in Sam Hill? tarnation, darn it, dang it, etc, etc.

I was talking about our sex organs. It's a throwback to the Puritans where any reference to sex was forbidden. It carries on today which is why we have so many afraid to even mention their penis or vagina in any way.

28 posted on 11/19/2010 5:44:36 AM PST by raybbr (Someone who invades another country is NOT an immigrant - illegal or otherwise.)
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To: Rummyfan
Don't touch my junk!


29 posted on 11/19/2010 5:50:23 AM PST by SnuffaBolshevik
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To: raybbr

You ought to realize that much of what people think they know of the Puritans is utterly false - you comment is an example. It would be more accurate if you had referred to the Victorians, who had a penchant for euphemism.


30 posted on 11/19/2010 5:53:39 AM PST by achilles2000 ("I'll agree to save the whales as long as we can deport the liberals")
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To: Voter#537

“My ship of love is ready to attack!” FZ


31 posted on 11/19/2010 5:54:59 AM PST by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: Rummyfan

In the middle of all this government intrusion, where are the airlines? They ought to be raising hell with the tsa because this is going to really hurt their bottom line once the holiday travel season is over.


32 posted on 11/19/2010 5:56:14 AM PST by Texas resident (Hunkered Down)
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To: Texas resident
where are the airlines

A business stuck between an out of control government and a rebellion by a free people exercises great caution. The only person to blame right now is Obama for not stepping in, firing Big Sis, and putting in someone who has a clue. Even Clinton had the good sense to tell Bobby Rubin to give it up during the IRS revolt. But whatever we think of Clinton's morality or political goals, he was a smart man and an excellent politician.

33 posted on 11/19/2010 6:02:21 AM PST by AndyJackson
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To: raybbr
"...It's a throwback to the Puritans where any reference to sex was forbidden. It carries on today which is why we have so many afraid to even mention their penis or vagina in any way..."

However, when I fly for Thanksgiving I fully plan on yelling "Hey, stop touching my penis!" in a loud voice and incredulous tone.

C'mon, everybody try it, it'll be fun!

34 posted on 11/19/2010 6:18:21 AM PST by I Buried My Guns (Novare Res!)
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To: I Buried My Guns

Junk is Rap speak for penis...Trunk is Rap speak for vagina both are often used together in so-called Rap Music.


35 posted on 11/19/2010 6:27:01 AM PST by PoloSec ( Christ died for our sins...)
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To: raybbr

“It’s a throwback to the Puritans where any reference to sex was forbidden.”

So are the euphemisms for profanity.


36 posted on 11/19/2010 6:29:41 AM PST by Daveinyork
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To: Rummyfan
Don't Touch My Junk music video - well done. If someone could make this a link I would appreciate it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhEMRSp7va

37 posted on 11/19/2010 6:33:48 AM PST by MomwithHope (Wake up America we are at war with militant Islam and progressives - 2 fronts.)
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To: Texas resident
The airlines are in an odd position here. By having the TSA take over this screening they may have shielded themselves from liability in the event of a terrorist attack.

I've been a critic of Krauthammer many a time here on FreeRepublic . . . I think he's too much of a left-leaning Beltway insider for my liking. But I can never dismiss him completely because he does make a lot of excellent points, and does so with a lot of flair and intelligence. This column is a classic.

38 posted on 11/19/2010 6:37:14 AM PST by Alberta's Child ("If you touch my junk, I'm gonna have you arrested.")
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To: Rummyfan

LOL

Great one from Krauthammer.


39 posted on 11/19/2010 6:39:45 AM PST by Yardstick
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To: Rummyfan

Good article.


40 posted on 11/19/2010 6:41:18 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: MomwithHope
Don't Touch My Junk!
41 posted on 11/19/2010 6:43:35 AM PST by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: PoloSec

Wrong. And if you would like to educate yourself about what these terms actually mean, you can ask any white teenager.


42 posted on 11/19/2010 6:55:53 AM PST by Yardstick
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To: Rummyfan

Thank you! Someday I’ll have to learn how to do that, I DO know how to post a picture. :))


43 posted on 11/19/2010 6:58:29 AM PST by MomwithHope (Wake up America we are at war with militant Islam and progressives - 2 fronts.)
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To: Rummyfan
OOPS, One character got chopped off the address, this is the correct one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhEMRSp7vaY

44 posted on 11/19/2010 7:03:15 AM PST by MomwithHope (Wake up America we are at war with militant Islam and progressives - 2 fronts.)
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To: MomwithHope
Okay, one more time:

Don't Touch My Junk!

45 posted on 11/19/2010 7:07:57 AM PST by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Rummyfan

Thanks again!


46 posted on 11/19/2010 7:09:35 AM PST by MomwithHope (Wake up America we are at war with militant Islam and progressives - 2 fronts.)
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To: MomwithHope
Check out the thread titled HTML Sandbox for lots of help with posts.
47 posted on 11/19/2010 7:10:17 AM PST by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Jonah Hex

LOL All on St. Crispins Day..... : )


48 posted on 11/19/2010 7:20:42 AM PST by Old Teufel Hunden
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To: PoloSec
"Trunk is Rap speak for vagina"

I thought trunk meant your butt....
49 posted on 11/19/2010 7:39:18 AM PST by Old Teufel Hunden
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To: NOBO2
Ah yes!—the new rallying Battle Cry to save our Republic. I can see it now, instead of millions of our yellow Gadsen flags at our next tea Parties, there will be millions of “Don’t Touch My Junk” flags. The possibilites are endless.

I think it would be quite apropos, and not only in the context of flying. The socialists want to eliminate the concept of private property as well. "Junk" can also stand in for any number of other things. As a slogan, it's not really bad at all.

50 posted on 11/19/2010 11:23:13 AM PST by zeugma (Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam)
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