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Should Black People Walk Away from Valentine's Day Spending?
BV On Money ^ | 2/14/11 | Boyce Watkins

Posted on 02/14/2011 10:20:47 AM PST by Libloather

Should Black People Walk Away from Valentine's Day Spending?
By Boyce Watkins, PhD on Feb 14th 2011 10:56AM

Most men know how expensive Valentine's Day can get. Someone decided that spending money is somehow a translation to showing love, which is an interesting, misguided relationship philosophy. Valentine's Day is one of the most over-hyped holidays known to man, with advertising starting almost right after Christmas. Any man in a serious relationship is well-aware of the pending doom of his social life if he doesn't flex his wallet at least a little bit on that special day.

According to the National Federation's 2010 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, over $14 billion is spent on Valentine's Day-related purchases. This is roughly $103 for every single man, woman and child in America. Yes, the hype has real economic consequences.

What's even crazier is that 2010 doesn't even set a record. In 2008, $17 billion was spent on the holiday. (Perhaps all those 'Oprah Winfrey' shows about saving money kicked in and people started to show their love in ways that went beyond spending money.) These numbers make me wonder why I have to prove my love for others by busting my bank account on a holiday created by someone else.

The challenge of Valentine's Day can be especially daunting for African American men, who struggle with unemployment rates approaching 20 percent. Black family wealth is, according to recent estimates, as low as one-fiftieth that of white families, and millions of African Americans are facing bankruptcy, foreclosure and other forms of economic devastation. The struggle to find economic resources makes it difficult for men to become providers, and adds to the stress of black families that are already struggling to stay together. It also makes it difficult for single men to date or show affection to the woman in whom they may be interested, primarily because economic stability is highly correlated with the perception of an individual's manhood. Valentine's Day can only make the embarrassment that much worse for men who are trying to survive in an economy where they have the worst unemployment and educational levels in the nation.

My belief? African Americans may want to consider letting go of Valentine's Day, at least the over-commercialized part of it. For women, I suggest that you make a deal with your man: tell him that you don't want him to spend very much money on you -- but what he doesn't spend in money, he must overcompensate for with time and affection. Your man will appreciate you letting him off the hook and he will hopefully return the favor by giving you a level of loyalty he wouldn't be willing to give to anyone else. Being a true partner in love means helping your partner become stronger, not becoming yet another drain on their resources. By getting away from models of romantic interaction that become nothing more than economic exchanges, millions of members of the black community can find everlasting love.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Editorial; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: black; blacks; bloggers; people; race; racecard; spending; valentine
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When every stinkin' waking moment is focused on skin color, does that have any impact on shortening one's life duration? Just wondering.
1 posted on 02/14/2011 10:20:52 AM PST by Libloather
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To: Libloather

I’m a “white guy”. I don’t cooperate with the Valentine Day scam; and, my wife thinks that is pretty smart.


2 posted on 02/14/2011 10:24:21 AM PST by GingisK
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To: Libloather

Here’s an idea: How about ANYONE who cannot provide for his family should not spend money on Valentine’s Day. geeezz


3 posted on 02/14/2011 10:24:32 AM PST by NEMDF
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To: Libloather

In a show of solidarity with my Black brothers and sisters, I am “walking away” from Valentine’s Day!

one less thing...heh...heh...heh...


4 posted on 02/14/2011 10:24:56 AM PST by San Jacinto
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To: Libloather

Yo, what does Ballantines Day have to do with love? I thought it was about beer!!


5 posted on 02/14/2011 10:25:47 AM PST by Batman11 (Sarah Palin: "Illegal immigrants are called illegal for a reason!")
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To: Libloather

Wonder how much money is spent on that other made up holiday, what’s it called, kwanzza?


6 posted on 02/14/2011 10:26:40 AM PST by WakeUpAndVote
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To: Libloather
Why does every little stinking thing have to be about race?

Valentine's Day is a crock of crap no matter what color your skin is.

And you know what, if a woman is only impressed with how much you spend on her, dump her sorry rear end and find someone else.

7 posted on 02/14/2011 10:27:35 AM PST by pnh102 (Regarding liberalism, always attribute to malice what you think can be explained by stupidity. - Me)
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To: Libloather

I think ALL men should. I really am sick and tired of this manufactured ‘holiday’. I’ve been with my wife for 27 years and we’ve stood by each other through thick and thin...we don’t need Hallmark to tell us when it’s time to express our love for each other.


8 posted on 02/14/2011 10:27:56 AM PST by pgkdan (Protect and Defend America! End the practice of islam on our shores before it's too late!)
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To: Libloather
does that have any impact on shortening one's life duration?

I would imagine since it is continual anger. But waking up every day blaming everything on color gives a certain number of drones a reason to exist for their shorter life span.

9 posted on 02/14/2011 10:29:29 AM PST by Right Wing Assault (Our Constitution: the new Inconvenient Truth)
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To: San Jacinto

“In a show of solidarity with my Black brothers and sisters, I am “walking away” from Valentine’s Day!”

How very racially exclusive of you! Are they really “brothers and sister”? Or is it just because they’re “black” as you say? Too bad we’re not just all Americans. I’m so tired of that “Black brothers and sisters” crap. Now, I’ll be called a racist.


10 posted on 02/14/2011 10:29:52 AM PST by laweeks
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To: Libloather
My belief? African Americans may want to consider letting go of Valentine's Day, at least the over-commercialized part of it. For women, I suggest that you make a deal with your man: tell him that you don't want him to spend very much money on you -- but what he doesn't spend in money, he must overcompensate for with time and affection. Your man will appreciate you letting him off the hook and he will hopefully return the favor by giving you a level of loyalty he wouldn't be willing to give to anyone else. Being a true partner in love means helping your partner become stronger, not becoming yet another drain on their resources. By getting away from models of romantic interaction that become nothing more than economic exchanges, millions of members of the black community can find everlasting love.

That's good advice for anybody regardless of skin color.

I have to wonder if this dim bulb author things tight finances happen only to black people. Like one dude said "I see a lot more black people driving white Cadillacs than I see white people driving black Cadillacs." Why is that?

11 posted on 02/14/2011 10:30:08 AM PST by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: pgkdan

Unfortunately the opposite sex has a different opinion, or this thing would not fly.


12 posted on 02/14/2011 10:30:14 AM PST by RobbyS (Pray with the suffering souls.)
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To: Libloather

Valentines Day.

Minorities hit hardest.

You just can’t make this stuff up.


13 posted on 02/14/2011 10:30:34 AM PST by digger48
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To: Libloather

To quote Al Bundy: “Jefferson! The beast of all holidays is upon us!”


14 posted on 02/14/2011 10:32:24 AM PST by ransacked
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To: pnh102
.........if a woman is only impressed with how much you spend on her, dump her sorry rear end and find someone else.

Dang! I wish I'd known that 50 years ago. I Sure could've saved a bunch of money.
ROFL!

15 posted on 02/14/2011 10:33:53 AM PST by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: Libloather

Just make sure I’m understanding this correctly: so black people are the only ones struggling to make ends meet & pay the bills, right? Oh....in that case, we should all protest that evil whitey holiday known as Valentine’s day.

Please. Who is dumb enough to think like this?


16 posted on 02/14/2011 10:35:38 AM PST by surroundedbyblue
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To: Fiddlstix
Dang! I wish I'd known that 50 years ago. I Sure could've saved a bunch of money.

Having a wife who doesn't expect me to break the bank on frivolous crap is a great bless for which I thank the Almighty LORD every single day... multiple times if I piss her off!

17 posted on 02/14/2011 10:38:00 AM PST by pnh102 (Regarding liberalism, always attribute to malice what you think can be explained by stupidity. - Me)
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To: RobbyS

I know. Despite all my big talk I won’t go home tonight without a card. That’s all I’m buying though...


18 posted on 02/14/2011 10:38:41 AM PST by pgkdan (Protect and Defend America! End the practice of islam on our shores before it's too late!)
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To: Libloather
Black family wealth is, according to recent estimates, as low as one-fiftieth that of white families, and millions of African Americans are facing bankruptcy, foreclosure and other forms of economic devastation.

Utter hogwash. Thinking like a victim will make it so.
19 posted on 02/14/2011 10:38:47 AM PST by Nepeta
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To: Libloather

Should Muslims who decry Valentine’s day who also decry love, join with the blacks...in other words sounds to me like they are targeting to blacks to forego Valentine’s day....But then I just learned about 2 years ago, blacks try to only shop at black owned businesses!


20 posted on 02/14/2011 10:39:52 AM PST by Freddd
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To: Libloather

What a stupid question. More racist nonsense.


21 posted on 02/14/2011 10:40:12 AM PST by mulligan
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To: Nepeta
Black family wealth is, according to recent estimates, as low as one-fiftieth that of white families, and millions of African Americans are facing bankruptcy, foreclosure and other forms of economic devastation.

But married two parent middle class black families have, unless something's changed recently, a higher income than two parent middle class white families.
22 posted on 02/14/2011 10:41:25 AM PST by aruanan
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To: Libloather

“Someone decided that spending money is somehow a translation to showing love, which is an interesting, misguided relationship philosophy.”

Wrong. Women selecting mates who can care for them and their offspring’s material needs is a deeply rooted human behavior and not recently made up and decided upon by ‘someone’. Many aspects of human physiology, from the specifics of child-bearing to neurochemistry make it thus.


23 posted on 02/14/2011 10:42:24 AM PST by swain_forkbeard (Rationality may not be sufficient, but it is necessary.)
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To: GingisK

I agree with your wife, and my husband agrees with you. We celebrated our anniversary just ten days ago, and anyway, as a general policy we don’t care for invented occasions that demand we spend money.


24 posted on 02/14/2011 10:43:10 AM PST by Tax-chick (All that, plus a real-meat cheezburger and wine.)
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To: GingisK

We went out on Saturday night, and skipped all the expensive meals.

We’ll get each other cards, and I might get some flowers.

Simple is nice.


25 posted on 02/14/2011 10:43:22 AM PST by luckystarmom
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To: Libloather
Black family wealth is, according to recent estimates, as low as one-fiftieth that of white families, and millions of African Americans are facing bankruptcy, foreclosure and other forms of economic devastation.

Yup, and they'll vote to re-elect Obama in droves, even though his policies hurt lower-income people the most.

That's alright - keep those blinders on and keep voting those liberals into office. After all, they're for the 'working' man.


26 posted on 02/14/2011 10:44:41 AM PST by reagan_fanatic (A communist is just a liberal in a hurry)
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To: Libloather

The challenge of Valentine’s Day can be especially daunting for African American men, who struggle with unemployment rates approaching 20 percent. Black family wealth is, according to recent estimates, as low as one-fiftieth that of white families, and millions of African Americans are facing bankruptcy, foreclosure and other forms of economic devastation. -——————

Yeah and whites don’t get Reparations, Pigford and Pigford II, but they pay for it.


27 posted on 02/14/2011 10:46:21 AM PST by Freddd
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To: Libloather
with advertising starting almost right after Christmas

Here it started just before Christmas and Easter was tucked along side it as well.

28 posted on 02/14/2011 10:46:46 AM PST by teacherwoes ("It is vain to expect a well-balanced government without a well-balanced society" -Gideon Welles)
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To: pnh102
Yes. I understand. I was just joking.

However, I have a few friends who learned that the hard way. Sad to say but true.

29 posted on 02/14/2011 10:47:34 AM PST by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: luckystarmom
My wife and I had a great time this weekend, and we didn't spend more than we can afford.

You can buy jewelry, flowers, and you can have a nice dinner without spending a fortune.... because we don't measure the value by the size of the expenditure.

30 posted on 02/14/2011 10:49:21 AM PST by justlurking (The only remedy for a bad guy with a gun is a good WOMAN (Sgt. Kimberly Munley) with a gun)
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To: pgkdan; scripter
Despite all my big talk I won’t go home tonight without a card. That’s all I’m buying though...

i think that's sweet... i have all my Valentine's Day cards from my husband... V-day is my third favorite holiday--after Halloween and Thanksgiving... not because of expensive gifts... because of nostalgia... mu birthday is a few days before Feb. 14th, so i would often receive valentine-sy gifts on my birthday... red and pink wrapping... i like all the pink and red at this time of the year... and i always had a heart-shaped cake... today, after going to the gym and working out together, my husband and i went out to breakfast... later, after dinner, we will all (with our two boys) share a heart-shaped chocolate cake that i baked... he loves chocolate... i don't bake often...

31 posted on 02/14/2011 10:49:36 AM PST by latina4dubya ( self-proclaimed tequila snob)
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To: Libloather
African Americans may want to consider letting go of “Valentine's Day, at least the over-commercialized part of it. For women, I suggest that you make a deal with your man: tell him that you don't want him to spend very much money on you — but what he doesn't spend in money, he must overcompensate for with time and affection. Your man will appreciate you letting him off the hook and he will hopefully return the favor by giving you a level of loyalty he wouldn't be willing to give to anyone else. Being a true partner in love means helping your partner become stronger, not becoming yet another drain on their resources.”

That's a pretty good plan for EVERYBODY.

32 posted on 02/14/2011 10:49:49 AM PST by ryan71 (Dear spell check - No, I will not capitalize the "m" in moslem!)
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To: Vigilanteman
Like one dude said "I see a lot more black people driving white Cadillacs than I see white people driving black Cadillacs." Why is that?

Drugs?

33 posted on 02/14/2011 10:51:51 AM PST by Don Corleone ("Oil the gun..eat the cannolis. Take it to the Mattress.")
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To: pgkdan
Well, I also buy flowers and candy because this gets me off the hook for a few months, till mother's day. etc. Besides I like Chocolate, and I get to share! ;-)
34 posted on 02/14/2011 11:01:58 AM PST by RobbyS (Pray with the suffering souls.)
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To: Libloather

I’m past giving a damn what black people do...


35 posted on 02/14/2011 11:04:09 AM PST by FrankR (The Evil Are Powerless If The Good Are Unafraid! - R. Reagan)
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To: reagan_fanatic
After all, they're for the 'working' man.

All very true, they are for the working man. And while he's working hard in the fields, THEY sit on the veranda sipping a mint julep thinking how hard it is to run a plantation.
36 posted on 02/14/2011 11:06:53 AM PST by Dr.Zoidberg (Warning: Sarcasm/humor is always engaged. Failure to recognize this may lead to misunderstandings.)
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To: justlurking

A few years ago, Valentine’s Day fell on a Saturday night, and my husband and I went out on it.

Our dinner was expensive, and it took forever. I think it was a 3 hour dinner.

We had fun because we rarely go out, but I told my husband that I didn’t want to do something like that again.

We can’t go out when Valentine’s is on a weekday because we have kid duties.


37 posted on 02/14/2011 11:10:53 AM PST by luckystarmom
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To: Libloather

The writer is saying black women aren’t worth it.


38 posted on 02/14/2011 11:13:31 AM PST by Crawdad
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To: Libloather

I wonder...how many people ever ask themselves why a group that has been voting for one party for about 40 years has a 20% unemployment rate and the worst education profile of any ethnicity?

I’m betting black unemployment wasn’t 20% at the beginning of the Great Society.


39 posted on 02/14/2011 11:16:22 AM PST by Mr. Silverback (Anyone who says we need illegals to do the jobs Americans won't do has never watched "Dirty Jobs.")
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To: Fiddlstix

I tend to get into the crass commercial spirit of both Valentine’s Day and Halloween. It is Father’s Day and Mother’s Day when I go bare bones.

This year I didn’t buy any gold jewelry but got my wife, mother-in-law, and children big silly heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, top-quality stuffed bear, and chocolate brands including Godiva, Whitman’s, Russell-Stover, Gheradeli, Toblerone, and M&Ms. Included some spendable gifts too. I’m cheap with cards because I usually make my own.


40 posted on 02/14/2011 11:20:17 AM PST by Monterrosa-24 (...even more American than a French bikini and a Russian AK-47.)
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To: Libloather

...cause if there is anything destroying black families/relationships...it’s Valentine’s Day. (rolling eyes)


41 posted on 02/14/2011 11:20:17 AM PST by BookmanTheJanitor
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To: swain_forkbeard

So is men being focused on appearance.

Doesn’t make either the female or male focus any less shallow.

We should be able to move past evolutionary imperatives. Seems to me that’s one reason we went to all the trouble to evolve into thinking beings. So we wouldn’t operate just on instinct.


42 posted on 02/14/2011 11:24:03 AM PST by Sherman Logan
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To: Libloather

Whitey’s fault. Makin the brothers send candy and flowers to all they baby mamas.


43 posted on 02/14/2011 11:27:05 AM PST by ozzymandus
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To: GingisK

“I don’t cooperate with the Valentine Day scam”

What’s the scam? I mean, no one forces you to buy anything or rips you off if you do. It is simply a made up holiday to sell stuff, but it has become a tradition.


44 posted on 02/14/2011 11:28:11 AM PST by CodeToad (Islam needs to be banned in the US and treated as a criminal enterprise.)
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To: BookmanTheJanitor

Yep, valentine’s day is MUCH worse than paying teenage girls to have bastard babies.


45 posted on 02/14/2011 11:29:24 AM PST by MrB (Tagline suspended for important announcement on my home page. Click my handle.)
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To: Libloather
I knew Valentine's Day was RASISS! After all, most of the chocolate is black and gets EATEN...is it symbolic or something? Is Hallmark the DEVIL?!?

Deep thoughts to ponder... ; D

46 posted on 02/14/2011 11:29:59 AM PST by Caipirabob ( Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: Libloather

Dear author, how does one know which ethnicities should participate in commercial Valentines Day and which shouldn’t? Please list the same 37 ethnicities as described in the California census, with how we should celebrate Valentine’s Day beside each fractioned ethnicity. Otherwise it will be too confusing.

If you like, you can also describe the celebration style per swatch of skin colors, using at least 20 shades of beige and brown, please.


47 posted on 02/14/2011 11:32:10 AM PST by Yaelle
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To: Libloather

Since this article divides people between WHITE and BLACK. why isn’t it considered racist? oh, wait a minute.... the author....


48 posted on 02/14/2011 11:37:16 AM PST by bareford101 (. All Muslims lie to infidels to confuse them)
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To: luckystarmom
“We went out on Saturday night, and skipped all the expensive meals.

We’ll get each other cards, and I might get some flowers.

Simple is nice.”

I agree. My wife love plants and cut flowers just die, so I got her a bonsai gardenia plant and we will go out to our favorite restaurant on Thursday.

49 posted on 02/14/2011 11:38:14 AM PST by SVTCobra03 (You can never have enough friends, horsepower or ammunition.)
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To: RobbyS

Not all of us. Hubby and I can afford to do an over-commercialized Valentine’s Day. But neither of us has the time or patience to think up more stuff we want or need for the other to buy us. So we took the pressure off by agreeing to not exchange gifts on Valentine’s Day. We don’t even go out to dinner, hate crowds. We focus on our relationship, instead.


50 posted on 02/14/2011 11:40:55 AM PST by Hoffer Rand (There ARE two Americas: "God's children" and the tax payers)
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