Your cousin is a saint. I worked, and still do work as a tutor. I see all kinds of horror stories, but I work one on one with them, so I can actually devote the time necessary to get the kiddo over the hump.
Don’t get me started on ‘reading’!
He stays, or at least offers to stay in his office for tutoring til 5 pm. There are several tutoring programs at his school. And these kids never take him up on his or the other offers. He says “I feel like the Maytag repairman”.
He’s very up front with them, in terms of warning them every week that they MUST get this or that done or submitted or they CAN NOT proceed; he will accept any homework at any time during the quarter/semester with the idea that as long as they go thru the work, it’s a good thing. And still, they find a way to exhibit the complete failure to demonstrate the effort.
And his general take on it is “these are the kids that you and I didn’t go to school with, we didn’t know them, we didn’t have them as friends”.
I don’t know what you do with kids who demonstrate no affinity towards learning new stuff. At that age, it is so much easier to learn, just because of the state of our brains. I think it would be good to go on field trips to homeless encampments. The theme would be “You have a Choice”.