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Police: Cavity Search Produces 50 Bags of Heroin (From ONE woman)
MyFox Phoenix ^

Posted on 03/21/2011 7:43:35 AM PDT by Stoat

(edit)

 

Authorities say 27-year-old Karin Mackaliunas was detained last weekend following a crash. Scranton police say they found three bags of heroin in her jacket and after being taken to the police station she told investigators she had more hidden in her vagina.

A doctor performed a search and recovered 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, prescription pills and $51.22.

 

(edit)

(Excerpt) Read more at myfoxphoenix.com ...


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; US: Pennsylvania
KEYWORDS: grievousaxewound; guilty; heroin; humor; idhitit; karinmackaliunas; lazwouldhitit; mackaliunas; naughtyhoeping; notguilty; pennsylvania; scranton
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Karin Mackaliunas

1 posted on 03/21/2011 7:43:43 AM PDT by Stoat
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To: Stoat

What a ho!


2 posted on 03/21/2011 7:44:39 AM PDT by glorgau
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To: Slings and Arrows; martin_fierro; Lazamataz

“cough”


3 posted on 03/21/2011 7:45:09 AM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
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To: Stoat

>> and $51.22.

Four rolls of quarters, two rolls of dimes, two rolls of pennies...


4 posted on 03/21/2011 7:46:26 AM PDT by Nervous Tick (Trust in God, but row away from the rocks!)
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To: Nervous Tick

A wallet, comb, lipstick...


5 posted on 03/21/2011 7:48:19 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (Go Hawks !)
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To: Stoat

That’s a lot of crack. And a lot of heroin.


6 posted on 03/21/2011 7:48:38 AM PDT by TruthShallSetYouFree (Obamacare: Not just dreck. Unconstitutional dreck.)
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To: Stoat

When she gets out of prison, she *might* want to take that fifty bucks going away money and buy a *purse*.


7 posted on 03/21/2011 7:48:44 AM PDT by Nervous Tick (Trust in God, but row away from the rocks!)
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To: Stoat

“If you find my keys we can drive out”


8 posted on 03/21/2011 7:49:02 AM PDT by I cannot think of a name
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To: Stoat

...officials also recovered one of her ex-boyfriends, who had been reported missing in 2008...


9 posted on 03/21/2011 7:49:51 AM PDT by WayneS (Enlightened statesmen will not always be at the helm. -- James Madison)
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To: I cannot think of a name

That’s a big cavity!!!


10 posted on 03/21/2011 7:49:58 AM PDT by refermech
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To: Stoat
I wouldn't touch this thread witha ten foot Ho....

Mike

11 posted on 03/21/2011 7:50:00 AM PDT by MichaelP (The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools ~HS)
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To: glorgau

There are just too many jokes. None of which I can tell here. CLAP!


12 posted on 03/21/2011 7:50:03 AM PDT by 70th Division (I love my country but fear my government!)
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To: Stoat
A doctor performed a search and recovered 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, prescription pills and $51.22..... And a 1978 Ford pickup truck. Photobucket
13 posted on 03/21/2011 7:50:29 AM PDT by baddog 219
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To: I cannot think of a name

Thanks.

I could remember most of that joke, but couldn’t recall the punchline.


14 posted on 03/21/2011 7:51:20 AM PDT by WayneS (Enlightened statesmen will not always be at the helm. -- James Madison)
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To: Stoat

Good golly woman!
where are my keys?


15 posted on 03/21/2011 7:51:45 AM PDT by ▀udda▀udd (7 days - 7 ways Guero >>> with a floating, shifting, ever changing persona.....)
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To: Stoat
A doctor performed a search and recovered 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, prescription pills and $51.22.

Are we sure this isn't from The Onion?

16 posted on 03/21/2011 7:53:23 AM PDT by ElkGroveDan (If every person were like Sarah Palin, this world would be a peaceful, beautiful world to live in.)
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To: I cannot think of a name
“If you find my keys we can drive out”

Doctor examining his patient: "My, you have a large vagina. My, you have a large vagina."

Patient: "P;ease, doctor - I'm embarrassed enough, you don't need to say it twice."

Doctor: "I didn't. That was an echo."

17 posted on 03/21/2011 7:53:25 AM PDT by Bob
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To: Nervous Tick
Cha Ching!

18 posted on 03/21/2011 7:54:04 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter knows whom he's working for)
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To: WayneS

How about this one:

“You didn’t have to say it twice.”
“I didn’t”


19 posted on 03/21/2011 7:55:27 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter knows whom he's working for)
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To: Stoat

Why 22 cents? Why?


20 posted on 03/21/2011 7:56:01 AM PDT by wideawake
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To: I cannot think of a name
“If you find my keys we can drive out”

I also heard it as "If your mother was still alive we could have saved the horse and buggy!!"

21 posted on 03/21/2011 7:56:01 AM PDT by musicman (Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
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To: Stoat
"That roll of yours could hold half a hog!"

Butterbeans & Susie reference
22 posted on 03/21/2011 7:57:00 AM PDT by GodBlessRonaldReagan (A little bit of teenage heaven, right here on earth!)
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To: I cannot think of a name

“I don’t know, I’m just looking for my motorcycle”


23 posted on 03/21/2011 7:57:52 AM PDT by 101voodoo
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To: Bob

the part of anatomy that is amazing ‘ will stretch a mile before it rips an inch


24 posted on 03/21/2011 7:59:33 AM PDT by mt tom
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To: Stoat

I bet she has an echo effect happening ..... =.=


25 posted on 03/21/2011 7:59:38 AM PDT by cranked
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To: Stoat

Here’s an honorable mention:

Man “Keystered” Cellphone, MP3 Player, Headphones, Cash, Pot Into California Jail
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/jail-smuggling/man-keystered-cellphone-mp3-player-headphones-cash-pot-california-jail
Sentenced and jailed Tuesday on a narcotics conviction, a California man smuggled a Kyocera cell phone, an MP3 player, ear bud headphones, marijuana, tobacco, and $140 in cash into a county lockup by hiding the contraband in his rectum, investigators allege.

The items were recovered when Lake County corrections officers strip searched Earl Lee Vogt and tossed his cell. The searches Wednesday evening were prompted when a jailer detected the smell of marijuana in the 29-year-old tattoo artist’s cell.

Vogt, pictured in the post-surrender mug shot at right, was sentenced Tuesday to nearly four years in prison and immediately remanded to the custody of the sheriff’s department. Investigators believe that Vogt “keystered” the contraband to get it into the lockup, according to one official. While the cash was found in his cell, the other items were found inside a sock.

When questioned by a sheriff’s deputy who thought he was feeling discomfort, Vogt denied being in pain, though he noted, “My ass is bleeding.”


26 posted on 03/21/2011 8:00:18 AM PDT by TSgt (Colonel Allen West & Michele Bachman - 2012 POTUS Dream Team Ticket!)
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To: Stoat

"????..if they dug a little deeper they would probably find the mini-sub they used to smuggle the stuff"

27 posted on 03/21/2011 8:01:03 AM PDT by Doogle ((USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
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To: All
Now it starts getting REALLY sad:

 

Karin Mackaliunas - Google Profile

 

Im 26, I have a 3 year old daughter who keeps me very very busy!

 

Photo

28 posted on 03/21/2011 8:01:37 AM PDT by Stoat (If you want a vision of the future, imagine a Birkenstock stamping on a human face... forever)
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To: Bob

the part of anatomy that is amazing ‘ will stretch a mile before it rips an inch


29 posted on 03/21/2011 8:02:32 AM PDT by mt tom
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To: Nervous Tick

Hmmm all I can think of is Rope-10ft 2x6 lmao......


30 posted on 03/21/2011 8:03:14 AM PDT by Lees Swrd ("Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe and preserve order in the world as well")
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To: TSgt

Wow.

That’s a buttload of stuff...


31 posted on 03/21/2011 8:05:24 AM PDT by WayneS (Enlightened statesmen will not always be at the helm. -- James Madison)
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To: Stoat

Looks kinda guilty.


32 posted on 03/21/2011 8:07:26 AM PDT by cweese (Hook 'em Horns!!!)
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To: Stoat

A cowboy wearing a ten-gallon hat is buying drinks and flirting with a local hottie in the local saloon.

After several rounds have them both getting very tipsy, the cowboy decides to make his move. He leans over by the lady’s ear and whispers “I’d sure like a little pu$$y”.

The lady replies “so would I...mine’s about the size of that hat.”


33 posted on 03/21/2011 8:08:56 AM PDT by Mich Patriot (Today, if you build a better mousetrap, the government comes along with a better mouse. RReagan)
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To: Stoat

34 posted on 03/21/2011 8:09:37 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Visualize)
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To: WayneS

“...officials also recovered one of her ex-boyfriends, who had been reported missing in 2008...”
He should have strapped on an 8’ 2X4 before having $ex. Just sayin’.


35 posted on 03/21/2011 8:10:36 AM PDT by duckman (My Grandma Isn't Shovel Ready!)
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To: I cannot think of a name

I thought of that immediately... great minds and all that!


36 posted on 03/21/2011 8:12:42 AM PDT by NCjim (Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.)
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To: Stoat

It must be the size of a peacoat sleeve...


37 posted on 03/21/2011 8:15:59 AM PDT by Bean Counter (Stout Hearts!I)
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To: Lees Swrd
Hmmm all I can think of is Rope-10ft 2x6 lmao......

Yep, we all like to yodel in a canyon but nobody wants to fall in!

38 posted on 03/21/2011 8:17:10 AM PDT by Las Vegas Ron (The Tree of Liberty did not grow from an ACORN!)
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To: I cannot think of a name

LOL! Now that’s an old one.


39 posted on 03/21/2011 8:17:45 AM PDT by MisterArtery
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To: I cannot think of a name

LOL! Now that’s an old one.


40 posted on 03/21/2011 8:17:58 AM PDT by MisterArtery
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To: wideawake; tx_eggman
Why 22 cents? Why?

It just felt better.

OR -

Because 50 Cent had already hit that...
41 posted on 03/21/2011 8:18:29 AM PDT by SpinnerWebb (In 2012 you will awaken from your HOPEnosis and have no recollection of this... "Constitution")
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To: Stoat
"What's this? Oh, a bag of heroin was in your ear!"
42 posted on 03/21/2011 8:18:45 AM PDT by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: JoeProBono

I loved that episode!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGjElvt4nP8


43 posted on 03/21/2011 8:20:30 AM PDT by samtheman
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To: NCjim

Her boyfriend, a “Cunning Linguist”, reportedly has died of a heroin overdose.

Heroin, It’s what’s for dinner! lol


44 posted on 03/21/2011 8:21:26 AM PDT by outhousepatrol
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To: mt tom

Sounds more like one of them there clown cars at the circus!
She could smuggle Mexicans!


45 posted on 03/21/2011 8:22:35 AM PDT by Dr. Bogus Pachysandra ( Ya can't pick up a turd by the clean end!)
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To: Doogle

As exploration continues, we may soon know what really happened to Jimmy Hoffa.


46 posted on 03/21/2011 8:25:14 AM PDT by sjmjax (Politicans are like bananas - they start out green, turn yellow, then rot.)
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To: Stoat

As someone said so correctly: “You can’t make this stuff up!”


47 posted on 03/21/2011 8:26:07 AM PDT by jennings2004 (Sarah Palin: "The bright light at the end of a very dark tunnel!")
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To: Stoat

***A doctor performed a search and recovered 54 bags of heroin, ****

Let me guess....When not runing dope she works at a Mexican strip joint, somehow a donkey comes to mind.

OK, that was bad!


48 posted on 03/21/2011 8:26:59 AM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar (Visit the TOMMY FRANKS MILITARY MUSEUM in HOBART, OK. I did, well worth it!)
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To: Stoat

In the words of Bill Maher, “Big dumb twat”.


49 posted on 03/21/2011 8:30:50 AM PDT by USS Alaska (Nuke the terrorist savages.)
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To: Las Vegas Ron

Yeah I think this story is stretching things just a bit!!!


50 posted on 03/21/2011 8:32:46 AM PDT by Lees Swrd ("Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe and preserve order in the world as well")
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