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FedGuv Response to Letter from Col. Travis at the Alamo [Vanity]
3/27/2011 | Lazamataz

Posted on 03/28/2011 8:50:34 AM PDT by Lazamataz

Bejar Fby. 24th 1836

To the People of Texas & all Americans in the world------

Fellow citizens & compatriots------

I am besieged, by a thousand or more of the Mexicans under Santa Anna ----- I have sustained a continual Bombardment & cannonade for 24 hours & have not lost a man ----- The enemy has demanded a Surrender at discretion, otherwise, the garrison are to be put to the sword, if the fort is taken ----- I have answered the demand with a cannon shot, & our flag still waves proudly from the wall ----- I shall never Surrender or retreat

Then, I can on you in the name of Liberty, of patriotism & every thing dear to the American character, to come to our aid, with an dispatch ----- The enemy is receiving reinforcements daily & will no doubt increase to three or four thousand in four or five days. If this can is neglected, I am determined to sustain myself as long as possible & die like a soldier who never forgets what is due to his own honor & that of his country -----
Victory or Death

William Barret Travis
Lt. Col. Comdt

P. S. The lord is on our side- When the enemy appeared in sight we had not three bushels of corn--- We have since found in deserted houses 80 or 90 bushels & got into the walls 20 or 30 head of Beeves---

Travis
The Federal Government
Washington, DC

Dear Mr. Travis,

We have recieved your letter of February 24th, 1836, and have distributed it to the correct Federal Agencies. We have collected their responses, and have your answer ready:

Immigration and Customs enforcement notes that you are likely in violation of usurpation of their enforcement powers and are chargeable with impersonation of an ICE Officer. ICE demands an immediate cessation of all enforcement actions, and calls on you to surrender yourself for arrest at the nearest office. Further, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms has instructed us to inform you that possession of an unregistered cannon without a Tax Stamp violates the 1934 National Firearms Act, and makes you a Federal felon. You are instructed to demilitarize the cannon by cutting the reciever in two, and immediately making yourself available for arrest at the nearest BATF Office. The Food And Drug Administration would like to investigate from where you have gotten the reported stores of grain, to ensure that all Farming regulations have been followed per S.510, the Food Safety Act of 2010. The Environmental Protection Agency has instructed us to inform you that disturbing the hives of "beeves", or honeybees, is a also Federal felony, since these bees have been identified as a protected species. Finally, the Justice Department has indicated that profiling latinos as Mexicans, and subsequent aggression agains them, makes your actions clear violations of the Civil Rights Act, and several Hate Crimes Statutes at a Federal and State level.

You are instructed to immediately surrender yourself to the Federal authorities so that your crimes can be prosecuted.

Have a nice day,

The Federal Government


TOPICS: Editorial; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS:
This is a rewrite of an oldy but goody that I authored more than a decade ago. I could not find the original.
1 posted on 03/28/2011 8:50:37 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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I’d love it if it got in front of Glen Beck somehow. :) He read the Travis letter this morning, and it reminded me of this piece I had done once.


2 posted on 03/28/2011 8:51:58 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz

Beeves are cattle.


3 posted on 03/28/2011 8:58:23 AM PDT by humblegunner (Blogger Overlord)
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To: humblegunner

The federal government screwed that one up. I’m just relaying the response.


4 posted on 03/28/2011 9:00:00 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz

5 posted on 03/28/2011 9:03:23 AM PDT by SouthTexas (Tea time!)
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To: Lazamataz

Brilliant! ... as usual.


6 posted on 03/28/2011 9:03:51 AM PDT by MHGinTN (Some, believing they can't be deceived, it's nigh impossible to convince them when they're deceived.)
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To: Lazamataz

I’ll send it to him.


7 posted on 03/28/2011 9:04:59 AM PDT by MHGinTN (Some, believing they can't be deceived, it's nigh impossible to convince them when they're deceived.)
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To: MHGinTN

Thanks!


8 posted on 03/28/2011 9:08:24 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz

Just sent it. It takes a couple of days for he and staff to get to all the e-mails, so it may be toward the end of the week when he mentions it, if he mentions it ... it took him a year to get around to the G Edward Griffin stuff I sent him.


9 posted on 03/28/2011 9:11:25 AM PDT by MHGinTN (Some, believing they can't be deceived, it's nigh impossible to convince them when they're deceived.)
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To: Lazamataz

“Press ‘1’ for english....thank you! All lines are currently busy; please stay on the line for the next available operator...”


10 posted on 03/28/2011 9:11:53 AM PDT by randog (Tap into America!)
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To: MHGinTN

Thanks bro. I expect no mention, but what the heck. :)


11 posted on 03/28/2011 9:14:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz
Further, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms has instructed us to inform you that possession of an unregistered cannon without a Tax Stamp violates the 1934 National Firearms Act, and makes you a Federal felon.

1934? I see the BATF grandfathered that rule to 1836 make it effective.

12 posted on 03/28/2011 9:18:25 AM PDT by Sarajevo (You're jealous because the voices only talk to me.)
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To: Sarajevo
We must always be effective.

Doesn't matter how legal, just effective.

13 posted on 03/28/2011 9:19:45 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz

President Hussein would establish No Fly Zone to protect the Mexican Army from us rebel Texans.


14 posted on 03/28/2011 9:30:23 AM PDT by Deaf Smith
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To: Lazamataz
What did Davy Crockett ask Jim Bowie the day the Mexicans stormed the Alamo?

"Jim, we pouring concrete today?"

15 posted on 03/28/2011 9:40:10 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed, and I do not give a damn.)
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To: Lazamataz

Michael Berry on AM 740 Houston read this letter on the air recently, and noted that:

In 1836 Col. Travis was 26 years old and the commandant of the defenders of the Alamo

In 2011, in Obama’s America, Col. Travis would still be on his parents medical insurance.


16 posted on 03/28/2011 9:40:35 AM PDT by ThirdMate
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To: Deaf Smith

Your point and that of Laz are well taken and humorous.

But I would remind you of a statement from a most famous Texan:

“Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may.” ~Sam Houston

That goes for the Fed Government too. FUFED!


17 posted on 03/28/2011 9:44:50 AM PDT by Texas Fossil (Government, even in its best state is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one)
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To: Lazamataz

I thought that might be the case.


18 posted on 03/28/2011 9:55:35 AM PDT by humblegunner (Blogger Overlord)
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To: humblegunner

I’m thinking of putting this on a blog. Would you help me pimp it?


19 posted on 03/28/2011 10:03:40 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz

Absolutely.
I can recommend some good adware packages too.

You’ll be rolling in bucks before you know it.

Free Republic makes an excellent free advertising platform.


20 posted on 03/28/2011 10:08:48 AM PDT by humblegunner (Blogger Overlord)
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To: humblegunner
Beeves.


21 posted on 03/28/2011 10:12:01 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz
Beavis.

22 posted on 03/28/2011 10:14:28 AM PDT by humblegunner (Blogger Overlord)
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To: humblegunner

Beeves and Butthead
23 posted on 03/28/2011 10:26:20 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz
Hey Butthead.. this guy sucks!

Change the channel! Find some boobs!

24 posted on 03/28/2011 10:39:44 AM PDT by humblegunner (Blogger Overlord)
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To: Lazamataz

Gonna tag that one up on my Facebook when I get home...


25 posted on 03/28/2011 11:19:12 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (explosive bolts, ten thousand volts at a million miles an hour)
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To: Dead Corpse

Gracias!


26 posted on 03/28/2011 11:38:50 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz

I’ll come back to this when I have time.


27 posted on 03/28/2011 2:40:58 PM PDT by WinOne4TheGipper ("I think Pravda has mor e sense and logic the our pretend journalists. " A Birther)
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To: WinOne4TheGipper

Let me know what you think!


28 posted on 03/28/2011 3:03:50 PM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz
You are instructed to demilitarize the cannon by cutting the reciever in two,



LMAO.
29 posted on 03/28/2011 5:12:36 PM PDT by WinOne4TheGipper ("I think Pravda has mor e sense and logic the our pretend journalists. " A Birther)
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To: WinOne4TheGipper

:)


30 posted on 03/28/2011 6:22:56 PM PDT by Lazamataz (The Democrat Party is Communist. The Republican Party is Socialist. The Tea Party is Capitalist.)
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To: Lazamataz
De nada mi amigo es muy simpatica y comiedo... ;-)

In a wry and poignant way that is.

Never forget.

31 posted on 03/28/2011 6:30:13 PM PDT by Dead Corpse (explosive bolts, ten thousand volts at a million miles an hour)
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To: Lazamataz

BTTT


32 posted on 07/16/2011 6:40:06 AM PDT by Lazamataz (If you pet a tiny goose, you will feel a little down.)
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