Skip to comments.7 Things Not to Say During a Job Interview
Posted on 05/22/2011 1:48:29 PM PDT by george76
When interviewing for a job, we all want to put our best foot forward, but sometimes we end up putting it in our mouths instead. Even though you may feel comfortable chatting and making small talk with your interviewer, its best to leave some things unsaid.
We checked in with experts to find seven things you should never say during an interview.
1.) Don't Compliment the Interviewer's Appearance in Any Way.
Dont say: I love your skirt!.
2.) Dont Cry.
Dont say: It was the hardest thing I ever went through, and I still break down just thinking about it.
Crying the first time you meet might lead the interviewer to think youre unstable.
3.) Don't Talk About Illnesses Unless Theyre Relevant.
Dont say: My back is killing me, and this time of year is rough on my asthma.
7.) Dont Say You Were Fired.
Dont say: At my last job, I got canned.
Even if you were fired you just dont want to use that word,
(Excerpt) Read more at foxbusiness.com ...
“You guys don’t have . . like a . . drug test or anything do ya?”
“The boss might have fired my ass but I kicked his . . hard”
“Does your medical plan cover sex-change operations?”
“My friends at the bar said this might be a nice place to work because it’s so close and all.”
“I voted for Obama.”
“Make it snappy, fatso, I’m in a hurry.”
“Is after-hours sex with the janitorial staff frowned on at this establishment?”
“Can you sign a paper for me stating I was here looking for a job? It’s for my parole officer and I have to make a stab at getting back into society”.
“Can we reschedule the follow-up interview, I have an appointment at the tattoo parlor on that day.”
don’t ask where the management bathroom is...(Castanza)
“Do you press charges?”
From a “Late Night” Top Ten list.
What’s the overtime pay?
I had a guy cry in 2001, I was asked to help interview him... It was terrible and I felt sorry for him. I had asked him about a mutual aquaintance (alive and well, nothing wrong!). He didn’t get the job. It wasn’t only because of that, but still...
How many times can I be late to work before I get fired?
Also, don’t reveal ...
“I was president of the U.S.A. from 2009 to 2012.”
“I was president of the U.S.A. from 2009 to 2011.”
“I was vice-president of the U.S.A.”
“My position at the last company was job interviewer.”
My last boss tried to send me to Anger Management and that really pi$$ed me off.
Also, if the job is in the financial sector, you might want to leave out
Finance Ministry senior advisor, Athens, Greece. 2008-2010
Things TO say in a job interview:
(I’ve seen this done twice and it worked both times.)
“Hello. I’d like you to meet my attorney. He’s here to insure that my equal employment rights are not violated.”
In both cases, the response from the HR Manager was “When can (s)he start?”
Of course, you need to be black or a post-op transsexual for best results.
And don’t bring a beer.
I am a lifetime member of National Geographic and NAMBLA.
“Do you like movies about gladiators?”
I’m sorry, I’d really like to shake your hand but the hepatitis and the tuberculosis are still contagious.
Having facial piercings won’t help, either.
Unless it’s a law firm, don’t reveal that you are Lucifer.
“I hate to admit it, but I voted for Obama”!!!
Depending on where and to whom it was said, you would never, ever get the job.
Had a day long interview out-of-state with Exxon in college. Interviews with all of the divisons, etc. At the end of it all when they asked where you think you might fit in -
Don’t say the smallest, most specialized division in the entire company - that already has all three spots filled! (That being said, glad I didn’t go work there!)
Nice family photo, does your wife have a facebook account?
Do you have Twinkies in the vending machine?
“Are there any hot single women who work here? Do you have a daughter and is she hot?”
My skin problem is not contagious, I swear!
“One of these days, I’m going to have YOUR job”;)
Which is your favorite Judas Priest album?
Especially if it is in a 24 oz can and warm. Stick with bottles that need a church key. No twisty tops.
“Will you hold my beer for a sec...”
I’m wiccan and can I get all the equinoxes and solstices off?
“8) Here’s my facebook address...”
Srsly not kidding.
What one of my accomplishments? Well, I was never convicted.
Don’t ask the interviewer, “Is it just me, or do you also hear that high pitched squealing?”
“Does this job require a REAL birth certificate?”
Actually, with me as your interviewer, that would add points to your score. (and my answer would be "Defenders of the Faith")
A relative of a friend asked the interviewer at the end of the interview “ so! When are you due? You must be excited! “
- and you know where this is going. She was not pregnant.
What if it's premium home brew and I bring enough to share?
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