Posted on 05/29/2011 12:00:23 PM PDT by Excuse_My_Bellicosity
Careful Cletus or Parade Patty- This driver has control issues in combination with cluelessness. He/she on a four lane highway with high truck volume will drive in lane 1 and match the traffic on lane 2 to within 2 mph, effectively blocking the entire highway if trucks are jockeying for position in lanes 3 and 4.
The danger : after 5 miles of this, even drivers not on the list will be at wits end and try one or more of the really stupid things described just to get around this special type of jerkoff.
I hate drivers that slow down on the freeway before they get to the exit... They start braking on the freeway instead of the off ramp...
And I agree, the skill of getting up to freeway speed and merging from an on ramp seems to be a lost art to many these days...
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” - George Carlin
I call them, rich. If you run into them.
The biggest problem I sense these days with driving is the
problem that is part of a larger societal problem. Basically
it’s attention span. Before things got so digital and
multitasking I think people had no problem concentrating
on the task at hand. These days it’s just not possible for
many people and they need to be talking on the phone, texting, fiddling with the radio, eating, or doing whatever - just not focusing. I don’t think we as a society have the
attention span that we once had - and it shows.
At any given time I am one of each of these or a composite. The only one I’ve never been is Nervous Nick.
Also, to always be a Smart Suzie, you would have to be an incurable neurotic.
I actually do that quite often, especially on rainy days, but it is always because the person in front of me absolutely refuses to move over so I can pass and force me to pass on the right. Those are the times I wish my car was equipped with bazookas.
I’m pushing 80 in more ways than one ... my driving record is perfect ... and my insurance cost is incredibly low.
Meanwhile, there is one life-saving driving technique that I’d recommend.
If you drive an automatic transmission vehicle, train yourself to brake with your left foot. Given that, you will often find yourself close to riding the brake, and ... your emergency braking response time will be MUCH faster.
They totally ignore Drunk Davy or Stoned Susie, Illegal Ignacio, Glacial Granny and my personal favorite, the guy who speeds up and passes you on the left just so they can cut in front of you to take the next highway exit on the right.
>>idiots who think an on-ramp is their personal invitation to cut-in.<<
Actually, it is. The whole idea of merging traffic is that both sides cooperate with each other. I compare it to a zipper.
They left out “Defender of the speed limit” Dan. He drives exactly the speed limit in the Left Lane that everyone drive 10 over in. He always gets next to a Semi Truck going the speed limit so he can back up the lanes behind him. He will normally have an Obama sticker and thinks he is helping to save the planet.
>>I’m not sure whats happened in the last ten years but people have no clue what to do in a merge anymore. At least twice a month someone tries to pass me at the last second going into a merge and then decides not to and ends up forcing me to either floor it or slam on my brakes<<
Well, there are a lot more Asian drivers in the last ten years. ;)
“Oh and I drive a Silverado dually to work.”
Wimpy, compared to what you handle on your day job. Those are some mean machines - I gave up on hiring contractors to lay concrete and just started calling the trucks in myself. They are impressive vehicles when you stand next to them and they start flowing concrete.
>>Which one is the guy who charges through a red left turn arrow at the last moment even though oncoming traffic has already entered the intersection?<<
Robroy.
But to be fair, I don’t interfere with them. And it is because I live in an area where there is heavy slow traffic and a lot of Asian drivers. Doing what I do can get you in front of a pack of a hundred cars that you would have otherwise waited for, and I do not impede them one bit.
How about Latino Louie, the illegal alien without insurance always driving slower than the speed limit so as not to get pulled over?
That's the one that makes me yell out, "DIE!!!! DIE!!!!"
SOP calls for deceleration in the left lane w/blicker on, then lane change to suicie-lane, then apply brakes.
The aforementioned drivers usually come to a stop in the suicide-lane with their right-rear quater sticking out in the left lane traffic; that;'s just carnage waiting to happen.
I am popular Paul.
No matter what I do to stay as far away from everyone else on the road, folks flock to me.
I could be the only person on the road at 4 AM and within minutes I am in the middle of a pack of 12 vehicles
I speed up, they speed up, I slow down, they slow down.
I take the off ramp and go get a breakfast burrito, 3 of them follow me and chat me up while I am trying to drink my coffee.
Doh!
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