Skip to comments.Texas Teen 'Vampire' Bites Stranger, Says He 'Needed to Feed'
Posted on 08/17/2011 5:53:59 AM PDT by topher
GALVESTON, Texas A Texas man was behind bars Monday after breaking into a stranger's apartment and biting her neck, claiming he was a 500-year-old vampire who "needed to feed," the Houston Chronicle reported.
Lyle Monroe Bensley, 19, is being held on a charge of burglary with intent to commit assault after the incident, which occurred early Saturday in Galveston, Texas, about 50 miles southeast of Houston.
Wearing only boxer shorts, Bensley forced his way into the apartment of a woman he did not know and made growling and hissing noises while biting and hitting his victim in her bed, officers told the paper.
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
“That boy just ain’t right”....Hank Hill
"He was begging us to restrain him because he didn't want to kill us," Galveston Officer Daniel Erickson told the Chronicle. "He said he needed to feed."
Drugs + obsessive devotion to vampire movies = Trainwreck
Somewhat amusing story, but he’s a dangerous lunatic. Hang him now before he seriously hurts another.
Lety me guess the Twilight series...
Stupid books stupid boy
After seeing his photo, I wonder if he’s doing steroids.
What the Hell is it with these kids and their obsession with re-creating these hollow vamp flicks? Harry Potter didn’t elicit a rash of kids with wands running around turning post boxes into candy jars. What’s the obsession with being a vampire?
I know when I was boozing and using, I couldn’t go a day without a drink or a puff. I was constantly craving an escape from my reality. Perhaps these kids think that they can bite people and automatically be called vampires?
Let’s see - ear hoop thingies, cutsey lip piercing, neato-bad-a$$ neck tatoo, smug wrinkled brow - his costume is just about complete. Another hollow-boy with no skills to support himself and no moral compass with which to live at peace in society, but he sure looks cool!
After seeing his photo (and all the piercing) I wonder if that girl should worry about AIDS!
Victim should have pulled out a gun and shot him, then told the police he just wanted to test the theory that only a wooden stake through the heart would kill a vampire.
Put a wooden stake through his heart.
probably more like “True Blood”.
“he needed to feed.” What? No Taco Bells in Texas?
I’m sure that his mom and dad are very proud.
Well he got one part right
I think that after subduing his rear end, the police should have had some fun, with one of them holding up a stake-like piece of wood in front of the perp, to give him the jim-jams, then whisper to each other, “Do you think he used this as a burglary tool? Nah. Me neither”, while hitting it on the butt to simulate pounding it into something.
Would’ve been funnier to get some holy water and flick it on him.
A .45 ACP between the eyes would stop his “need to feed, permanently.”
If they have a library in Hooterville, Mayberry, Bedford Falls or Grover’s Corners — they have by now a whole bookcase dedicated to vampire fiction.
The guy may well have been a mental case without it, but he also could have been reading the Bible instead, and been improved. It’s been known to happen. Just not with vampire fiction.
As for the dork in the main article, drive a stake through his heart and cut off his head.
Just in case...
Well... okay. I suppose she can suck my blood...
what a wanker,he would look even better if the victim had given him a 45 cal lobotomy
Beat me too it.
If I looked like this dork I’d want mirrors not to work too.
A clear case of “Daddy doesn’t pay enough attention to me so I’m going to become a self-centered attention whore”.
Or he would have been just as nutty, but thinking all his neighbors were Amalekites who needed to be smited.
I’d stand in line for a week to
kick this effing idiot in the ass.
Yeah but the Bible has better odds.
Nothing that a good caning wouldn’t cure.....
(with apologies to the late Warren Zevon)
I saw a dumbass with a stupid look upon his face,
Walkin’ through the streets of Galveston in this heat.
He was lookin for a place to break in to,
gonna bite down on someone’s vein.
Aaahoo, dumbasses of Texas
Ya hear him pullin’ the knob of your kitchen door,
Ya better not let him in.
Little old lady got chewed on late last night,
Dumbasses of Texas again.
He’s the really stupid guy, never heard of ‘Castle Law’,
Lately he’s been spotted up in Beaumont.
You better stay away from him, stupid might be contagious.
Huh, he’s gonna end up in prison.
Well, I saw Joe Biden walkin’ with Obama,
doing the dumbasses of Washington.
I saw Joe Biden walkin’ with Obama, again,
doing the dumbasses of Washington.
I saw Wolf Blitzer drinkin’ a Mocha Grande at Starbucks,
And his hair was perfect. Uh.
Ahhhooooo, dumbasses of America.
Should be attempted murder.
CHARLIE CHAN OBSERVE THAT TOO MUCH TV MAKE CRIMINAL BATTY
* Looks like someone is spending way too much time in Mom & Dad’s basement watching Twilight and True Blood, and playing Dungeons & Dragons. Getting a job and supporting yourself has a way of curing these types of delusions. *
The 11 sided die claims another nerd
This is so ironic. Last weekend was at a hamburger party and nephew had new girlfriend to show off.
The pudgey little pig had more tatoos than a circus lady with many depicting caskets and vampires. When asked if this was some Goth thing, she said “Oh no, we are into vampires and have caskets at home”.
When I was growing up the old folks were deadon right saying “idle minds are the devil’s workshop”.
A growing share of America is not worth saving.
Tattoos have become de rigeur with my generation. I have 4, but they’re all concealed or concealable with a long-sleeved shirt. I have no skulls, reapers, naked women on my body. I have patriotic ink, I have Christian ink, I have some Latin scrawled on my arms. Momma didn’t raise a fool.
But to get inked because you feel like imitating the life of vamps is laughable and sad. In 15 - 20 years when they’ve got kids in their teens, they’re going to have to explain why there are skulls and caskets on their bodies.
Kids today, along with the parents raising them, are oblivious to the idea of consequences following actions. It’s all about immediate gratification anymore.
Man, people are so screwed up today, our youth is so screwed up I don’t want to be alive 30 or 40 years from now, and thank goodness I wont be ...
If you come in for an interview with me, I see a Tat, it’s going to be a very short interview.
Some Catholic missions sell plastic bottles labeled Holy Water, and have holy water on site for those who want some. However, if you buy just the empty bottle and fill it with tap water, you get some of the most interesting reactions when you pull it out with pseudo-vampire Goth kids around.
Really curious on the motivation. Help me here, maybe there is some redeeming value I am just blind to. If its just peer pressure, my Mom had a very good answer, "if all your friends are sticking their heads in the oven, you are going to do the same?"
I would start by asking your age, but that’s not only inappropriate but immaterial.
When I was 18, I was pushing 400 lbs, looked like crap, had zero if not negative self-esteem, never had a girlfriend, and I was always down on myself. Getting ink and piercings were my way of rebelling against a society I thought was against me.
It wasn’t until I moved back home from college that I realized that the fly-by-night college friends I made were just that, and now I have to face a job market with tattoos and piercings.
Well needless to say the piercings went pretty quick. The tattoos, well, they’re permanent, but I have no regrets. Like I said, I have patriotic, Christian, and meaningful (to me) scripts for tats. An American flag, Our Lady of Guadeloupe, and some Latin on my arms are all I sport. The practice became silly to me when I thought, “I’m paying these people $100 an hour to mark up my body and have nothing but marks on my body.”
Money won over all else. Hence the reason I can’t understand how people spend so much money to mark themselves up with skulls, spider webs (a prison tat), Grim Reapers, and naked women.
A funny epilogue: I was actually the “trendsetter” among my friends for tats. I led, friends followed. Sadly, many of those friends didn’t follow my lead when I stopped. Then again, most of those folks are on the 10 year plan for college.
“Lets see - ear hoop thingies, cutsey lip piercing, neato-bad-a$$ neck tatoo, smug wrinkled brow - his costume is just about complete. Another hollow-boy with no skills to support himself and no moral compass with which to live at peace in society, but he sure looks cool!”
Dude’s got eye and eyebrow makeup on too.