Skip to comments.What are the Top Ten Statements That Should Be Included In Zero's "Jobs Speech" on 9-8-2011?
Posted on 09/04/2011 11:55:05 AM PDT by Graewoulf
The forces of Zero's Keynesianism and the tattered remnants of the Free Market proponents meet on 9-8-2011 to hear Zero arrogantly announce how HE plans to buy "jobs" with MY grandchildren's future paychecks.
It will be an auspicious occasion I'm sure. Since I plan to watch The Packers whup up on the enemy, I though we could help Ol' Zero improve his " 9-8-jobs-can-wait" speech by including a few things that might, could work, and give us time to watch some FOOTBALL!
All the L.I.E. Media wants to talk or write about is what Zero is going to say. At FR we KNOW what he is going to say: " Blah, blah, blah, spend. Blah, blah,blah,blah, jobs, investments, no tax increase until I am re-elected, spend, blah, SPEND!
So to do the job that the L.I.E. Media won't do let us do the job for them and make some useful speech suggestions!
Almost forgot: Put country ahead of politics, stop jockeying for political position, make your suggestions without regard to politics or ideology, stop the political bickering - - - .
I'm sure I missed a bunch more, but you get the general idea: Do the opposite of what Zero says.
“Nobody appreciates what I’m doing for YOU. You are all a bunch of racist honkeys and I hate you. I quit!”
“...I will resign effective tomorrow at noon.”
He will have a deadline and if this is not done by then BOOM , we all going to die
...and therefore I resign the presidency as of noon tomorrow.
That gridlocked Golden Goose just won’t stand still to be plucked. I’ll talk it into increasing its output while giving it cleaner air and food, but making those hobbits take the waste away.
That would be a great speech.
I'd like to announce that I have accepted Joe Biden's resignation. In an attemtp to show bipartisanship, I'm appointing former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to replace him as Vice President. Now, with that out of the way, let me be perfectly clear. I Resign effective immediately.
Oh, and I'd probably go out and hire some people and figure out a business to start at that point, too. So it would help jobs.
Raise taxes on the wealthy.
Raise taxes on the middle class.
Give free educations to illegals.
Ban all coal generated energy.
Cut the military by 25%.
I know a lot of what I listed he already is doing, but it can’t hurt to remind Americans what a rotten bunch of racist bigots we are.
“Point one, spend trillions of dollars on gubmint jobs.”
“Point two, ?”
“Point three, profit.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have accepted the resignation of Joe Biden as my Vice President. I am choosing Sarah Palin as my new Vice President. As soon as Sarah is confirmed by the Senate, I will resign the presidency and Sarah Palin will be sworn in as our 45th president. Good night and so long.”
What I would like to hear: “I am resigning as president”.
In all the decisions I have made in my public life, I have always tried to do what was best for the Nation. Throughout the long and difficult period of Fast and Furious and the bad economy, I have felt it was my duty to persevere, to make every possible effort to complete the term of office to which you elected me.
In the past few days, however, it has become evident to me that I no longer have a strong enough political base in the Congress to justify continuing that effort. As long as there was such a base, I felt strongly that it was necessary to see the constitutional process through to its conclusion, that to do otherwise would be unfaithful to the spirit of that deliberately difficult process and a dangerously destabilizing precedent for the future.
But with the disappearance of that base, I now believe that the constitutional purpose has been served, and there is no longer a need for the process to be prolonged.
I would have preferred to carry through to the finish whatever the personal agony it would have involved, and my family unanimously urged me to do so. But the interest of the Nation must always come before any personal considerations.
From the discussions I have had with Congressional and other leaders, I have concluded that because of the all these matters I might not have the support of the Congress that I would consider necessary to back the very difficult decisions and carry out the duties of this office in the way the interests of the Nation would require.
I have never been a quitter. To leave office before my term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my body. But as President, I must put the interest of America first. America needs a full-time President and a full-time Congress, particularly at this time with problems we face at home and abroad.
To continue to fight through the months ahead for my personal vindication would almost totally absorb the time and attention of both the President and the Congress in a period when our entire focus should be on the great issues of peace abroad and prosperity without inflation at home.
Therefore, I shall resign the Presidency effective at noon tomorrow. Vice President Biden will be sworn in as President at that hour in this office.
I am going to shut up now.
I am going to resign.
All my plans stink.
Am I as stupid as I look?
I lie a lot.
I cheat at golf.
Biden is an idiot, just like me.
I really am a stealth muslim.
I hate America and it’s people.
I really am going to shut up now.
See post # 11. You beat me to it! Great minds think alike.....
The first priority of the Deficit Reduction Committee should be a written request to Congress to repeal ObamaCare. I pledge my full-fledged support in seeing that this repeal gets enacted ASAP - like within the next 7 days.
Your future is in the hands of the Republicans. They have been jerking you around for almost three years. It's been frustrating. Why won't they just do as they're told.
Just look-up all of his tired speeches and write “DITTO” on them.
Same old stupidity, same old lies.
Hey a girl can dream!
I RESIGN X 10!
1-9 “I Golf, therefore I am”
10 “I resign to become the United Nation’s Secretary General” (j/k)
“I feel your pain.”
From your lips to God’s ears.
The Repubs are going to have a hay day on the 7th with Obama's "setback" on the EPA rules....because if we can ill afford the cost in 2011 and 2012...it's not going to be less hurtful in 2013.
Bottom Line: He may have to give up Obamacare...but it won't be until next year. He's NOT going to let the court do it. He has to do it...like a good dictator...on his terms...FOR YOU!!
There's only one: "Are you ready for some football?!"
Moo-chele and I are going on a 15 month vacation.
My Fellow Americans,
It is with heavy heart that I must bring you this news. The constant obstruction of my vision of hope and change by the entrenched forces of the political establishment have left me no choice but to sign into law an executive order dissolving both Congress and the Senate.
Now these players of partisan politics are rendered harmless, our country can stride forward into the glorious future, following the five year plan which will be available on the White House website sometime in 2012.
Stay calm and stay at home. Our noble internal security forces will be constantly on patrol, seeking unpatriotic Americans to submit to re-education and reparations for their faults.
In a bold step to reduce the supposed deficit, I have partnered with Walmart to provide every home with 20 rolls of toilet paper, lovingly printed by Chinese craftsmen with the Constitution and the Bill of Rights on every sheet of single ply paper.
God (soon to be renamed something less controversial) Bless America. Dang, this is fun!
“I won’t rest until we have jobs”
“Jobs are my number one priority”
“Congress won’t work with me”
“Share the Wealth”
“It’s not my Fault”
“I wasn’t there”
“You can’t prove anything”
1. The Space Brothers have arrived to get Farrakhan and Michelle and I are hitching a ride.
2. I have a confession...my name is really Osama and I’ve had plastic surgery...
3. The stimulus was a crock, but there’s still enough petty cash in Wrangel’s freezer to get all my constituents a two piece dinner at Church’s Chicken.
4. MY FELLOW KENYANS...Ooops...
5. We are the deranged you have been groping for!!...Hic...Hic...
6. It was all Michelle’s idea, please don’t send me to prison.
7. My strategies will come to fruition at the culimination of legislation providing stimulation to the nation by my calculations leading the American population to spontaneous celebration!...and if not, My Bad.
8. I HAD A DREAM...and the dream was of Sarah Palin in a string bikini...and when the Moose found out about it, she knocked me flat out!
9. I came to tell you how my liberal utopia has been delayed by racists in government and corporate America who have opposed every move I’ve made due to the color of my skin...but hell, let’s get real, even I can’t say that crap with a straight face anymore.
10. I would like to know why you all played “hail to the chief” when they brought the teleprompter in, but not for me?!
I want to be completely honest with you tonight. I hate you and I hate the United States. Therefore, I intend to implement a bold plan to destroy you both. Wait, what is that rumbling sound I hear in the distance.
I could support Barky on that.
George Soros and the typical white people down at the DNC lied to me. Being President of the United States IS a lot harder than being an ACORN comminity organizer, college “perfessor” or rookie senator from Illinois.
No, I'd rather hear "Joe and I are resigning".
...I will resign effective tomorrow at noon, and I will issue an Executive Order that the Tea Party will hold a special election among their officers to appoint a successor to act as President until the next General Election.”
There, fixed that.
You beat me to it.
He needs to find a way to play the race card.
I predict he will stress how the poor economy is disproportionately hurting people with more colorful skins and imply that opposition to his plans is racism.
Then he will hit the theme that Bush screwed up the economy even more than they thought, while Barney Frank and Chris Dodd chuckle to themselves.
I don't know what I'm doing.
Soros has given me bad advice.
I believe in communism
I am a mooslim.
My wife has a big ass.
The media loves me no matter what.
Chris Matthews gives me a thrill up my leg.
I would never use Obamacare myself, that's just for you slobs.
I'm like Burger King, I like things my way.
Did I mention my wife's big ass?
What all y’all are writing is all true, but the RINOS are scared into a tea-nee-tea-nine-cy corner about rocking the boat.
Let us at FR give a good glimpse to the cowardly RINOS what Zero SHOULD be saying in his 9-8-jobs-can-wait speech !
Remember: Do the opposite of what Zero says.
Your tips are for the RINOS, as Zero is a stupid man, that is by definition he is “incapable of learning.”
Yep, Zero is stupid. That sounds redundant - - - .
“I resign” is the only thing I’d tune in to hear.
Only one in my top ten:
“I plan to prove those of you who say the government are not entirely right. While I may not be able to create a job, I can create a job opportunity.
“Yes, even though I was the candidate who claimed I had a plan to fix every ill ailing America when I was candidate Obama, everyone in America—except perhaps Michelle—now knows I lied. I haven’t a clue. Everything I did made every problem much worse.
“You all have a right to think of me as the worst President in history. I will hold that title for about a year or so. After all, Joe Biden is even more clueless than I am.
“God help America!
“I mean God Bless America!
“Good night and good luck.”
(Pauses to sign a document.)
“I just signed my resignation as President of the United States effective at noon tomorrow. I will hand that resignation to Secretary of State Clinton on the way out of this chamber.”
The Kenyan is a Keynesian!?
I would not be in this situation (over my head) had the media vetted me.
Nobody appreciates what Im doing for YOU. “
Is your next to the last word in the above quote a typeo?
What’s a typeo? :-)
“( - - - 6) I am undoing all of the moronic regulations we have forced on America... )”
I really like your number 6, but I would like it better if you would delete the word “moronic.”
Remember, Zero is an Ivy-League trained lawyer. Although incredible to you and me, Zero just might think that NONE of his regulations were moronic. Like I said, he is a lawyer - - - .
11. “A great man once said, ‘From everyone according to his ability, to everyone according to their needs.’ It is with this in mind, I announce the following CHANGE to this country that I promised on 20 january, 2009...”