Skip to comments.What teachers really want to tell parents
Posted on 09/07/2011 9:00:11 AM PDT by AT7Saluki
... We are educated professionals who work with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than you do. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer. I have become used to some parents who just don't want to hear anything negative about their child, but sometimes if you're willing to take early warning advice to heart, it can help you head off an issue that could become much greater in the future.
Trust us. At times when I tell parents that their child has been a behavior problem, I can almost see the hairs rise on their backs. They are ready to fight and defend their child, and it is exhausting...
(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...
Maybe the parents resent the government taking over their parental resposibilities and duties.
“If we give you advice, don’t fight it.”
Depends. If it’s idiotic advice given by an idiot it will be ignored, and there’s more than a few of them in most school systems.
“If you love your kids, you’ll put them in private school” - Jesse Lee Peterson.
Coming from a man who knows whereof he speaks.
“Trust us. “ ( We're from the government. ) /s
Also....When to people who have the **LOWEST** SAT, ACT, and GREs on campus and in the **least** demanding program on campus, get to compare themselves with professional who have the highest scores, some of the most demanding courses, and the most competitive graduate schools that award doctorates?
Maybe the parents resent being called on their FAILING their parental responsibilities to have a well behaved attentive child.
No discipline at home = a bad kid at school = the teacher having to tell the parent = the parent blowing up displaying the same immaturity and lack of discipline their child exhibits.
I'm not envious of their job....but... I've never met a teacher that didn't think that they were the most picked-on, overworked, under-appreciated person who ever held any job, anywhere. That would even include the ones that I like, and who do good work. Even the retired ones I know still whine and complain about how stressful their job was, and they've been out of the business for 10 or more years.
It's just a personality trait, I guess.
These people have a little bit too much dictator in them.
What parents probably really want to tell Ron Clark:
“Mr. Clark, when you adopt our kids, you can raise them however you want. Until then, you teach ‘em, we’ll raise them, mmkay?”
All government schools are godless. Right there is the reason teachers have problems with their students and parents.
All government schools are socialist. It is there the children and parents have learned their overweaning sense of entitlement.
No good teacher would cooperate with teaching children to think and reason godless.
No good teacher would teach children to be comfortable with taking money from a neighbor for a service their parents want for tuition-free.
We'd like teachers to teach reading, writing and arithmetic and leave the ‘earth day - global warming crap at home. There's time to talk about the ‘extras’ when all children graduate being able to read their diplomas. Until then they need to stick to basics.
The same could, and probably would, be said by a private school teacher to the parents of a discipline problem child - they would just be more diplomatic to the paying customer.
The issue isn't that the teacher is (presumably) employed by the government - it is that parents these days can take absolutely NO criticism of their lackluster absentee parenting style and their ill behaved children.
Explains the situation perfectly.
For the idiots who think school and teachers are evil, why not go volunteer, get to know some of those educators and what they’re dealing with?
Those folks you see in public who can’t and won’t control their kids? Those kids running the streets dressed like thugs? They are all shuffled off to the classroom every morning.
How would you do, trying to teach them subject matter that they don’t want to learn, enforcing civil behavior that they haven’t been taught at home, being held responsible when they don’t learn, and being told it’s your fault when parents take offense at your plea for help?
By the way, I am neither a teacher nor an administrator. I’m just a parent who has seen it all and have great respect for the many excellent teachers who get slammed by ignorant internet posters.
Schools need to turn education into something valuable again - not another free entitlement. If people don’t see the cost and responsibility of education, they will not value it.
Kick trouble makers out, kick absentee kids out, kick failing kids out. Bottom 5% should be removed every year. Charge basic fees. Institute strict dress codes. No tattoos, no special hairy styles. Eliminate most sports. No phones, no gadgets. Mandatory parent meetings every quarter
Do that in an inner city, and I guarantee you people will be knocking down the door to get their kids in.
no screwl teacher is equal to a doctor or lawyer or engineer.
that latter actually had to work to get through high school and college.
Yep! I'll bash anyone who teaches children to think and reason godlessly I'll bash anyone who teaches children to be comfortable with socialism.
And...All government school teachers in socialist-funded, mob ruled, government schools do that every day! No one is holding a gun to their heads and they destroy the hearts and minds of children and our nation.
The point is, there are too many parents who have simply become apologists for their kids. Then they wonder where their 4y of college tuition went as their adult child sits on their couch playing video games. Reap/sow. (Full disclosure - I’m a homeschool principal.)
I have the opposite problem - I have teachers who are TOO AFRAID TO DO ANYTHING (and who can blame them?)
My daughter can be a little hyperactive but she will calm down and follow direction if she is handled firmly- they are so afraid to do that even AFTER i have repeatedly told them to go ahead and be firm and give her puinishment in class. (send her to the principal, make her write lines, re-do her home work after school if it is not neat... etc)
But what they will do is have endless MEETINGs. The bureacracy reacts a month and a half later to any incidents...
I finally decided to homeschool her.
My kid's teacher - who, while fitting the stereotype that I outlined in my previous post, seems to be doing an excellent job - made an interesting comment to me when I talked to her about volunteering.
She said that "unlike other teachers in this grade, I welcome parental involvement". There was a whole lot to read between *those* particular lines, sez me.
Mrs Wbill is already in the regular rotation, and I've signed up for a handful of events. I'm looking forward to it, and the teacher is, too. And, AFAIC, even if I like the teacher, and trust her, there's no subsititute for parental involvment. That, and people always behave better when they know someone is watching. :-)
In other words, just leave us alone to collect a check. If your kid comes out of school without learning anything, it isn't our fault.
Excuse me! Did you write “volunteer”?
I should VOLUNTEER to help children think and reason GODLESSLY????? Huh?
I should VOLUNTEER to help children be comfortable with accepting socialism and **forced** payment from taxpayer to pay for a service their parents want for tuition-free???
I should VOLUNTEER to help children submit the very hearts and minds to brutal will of the voting mob?
( Yeah! I am shouting!) Anyone who cooperates with the above is evil!
Smaller schools parents are more supportive of teachers. School size is the only thing that correlates with kids leaning more - not smaller class size, not more days off, not books used etc... just smaller schools.
So liberals call for larger mega schools and an us vs them mentality. This whine is the product of that thinking.
This guy is a private school teacher at a school he founded.
The issue is NOT public vs private school - it is what parents need to do when a teacher comes to them talking about the problems they are having with their child - they need to listen.
What an unreasonable request!/s
A fanatic is someone who won’t change his mind and won’t change the subject. The subject is not private vs public schools.
The NEA being what it is, teachers are by now some of the least credible people around
**Record Number of Minnesota School Districts Need Money **
A record number of school districts are seeking voter referendums to help with their budgets. Education Minnesota, the state's largest teachers' union, tells 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS that 133 districts - or one-third of all school districts in the state - have some type of voter referendum on their fall ballots.
This is not a particularly helpful piece. There is more than enough blame to go around. Many but not all teachers are weak, lazy, ill-prepared, do not know or understand their students and contribute mightily to the problems kids have in and with school. Many but not all kids lack self-discipline, are distracted, ill-prepared and drive teachers and parents nuts. Many but not all parents are weak, lazy, ignorant and contribute to the problems their kids have in school.
Parents need to make the time to observe their kids in the classroom. Teachers need to provide parents with regular, systematic feedback on the performance and demeanour of students. Kids need to be asked to and held responsible for the same level of commitment and dedication in class that most HS athletes demonstrate on the athletic field.
As anyone who has run a business knows, ensuring a quality process and quality product requires constant effort.
P.S. My wife was an outstanding public HS foreign language teacher. We have 3 young adult children - 2 were good students and generally liked school, one was a terror and hated school. 2 went to private schools including HS, the terror ended up in public HS. In hindsight, he should have gone to military school.
The government doesn’t run the Cub Scouts, do they?
I’m a Cubmaster of a Pack of 55 boys in a middle class neighborhood. The parents are a freak show, and this teacher is dead nuts on the money.
Most teachers are pretty good, and most know which ones you’d never take advice from, but I get this reaction from parents at the SLIGHTEST indication that they are going to hear something from me that doesn’t meet with ‘perfect’.
Even the ones that are honest with me are sugarcoating their situations by at least 50 percent.
Then there are the parents who let the kid into Cub Scouts to assuage guilt for the drugs, alcohol, or outlaw lifestyle they are leading. Cub Scouting is daycare, church, and concentrated fatherhood sessions.
The last group - the situation is so bad there’s no way they’d let a Cubmaster anywhere near it, nor any other professional for that matter (not that Cubmasters are professionals).
I’m no teacher, but I’ll tell you this - if it weren’t for the public school system there’d be chaos out there. Single parenthood rate in WA state is such that you’d have generations of otherwise bright kids falling through a more massive crack than there is today.
Public school system got gigantic problems - you bet. Put parents at the top of the list of those problems.
It is evident in the above paragraph ( from the article) that the author is addressing the problems of government school teachers.
Obviously, a **private** school principal, teacher, or board of directors do NOT have their hands completely tied. They can and should make demands on the parents and the children. If they don't they are not a good private school.
Finally...My comments about the godless and socialist-funded government schools stand. That generations of our nations children have learned to think and reason godlessly and be comfortably **entitled** to other people's resources likely is the foundation of the all of the problems of which this author complains. And...Teachers who cooperate with the mob-ruled, socialist-funded, and godless government schools simply, by definition, can not be “good”.
As a military school near Washington D.C. - many many foreign dignitaries and such sent their younger sons there - thinking it a prestigious academy where American dignitaries might send younger sons (older sons learn to manage the family business, younger sons go to the military).
Little did they know or imagine that a military school in America is basically a “Reform school” for bad kids.
My ex brother in law still has a taste for those wild wild women - learned by growing up with many a ‘reform school girl’.
Evident to a fanatic fixated upon a single subject perhaps - to me it seemed equally applicable to either situation.
Private schools have the added ‘hands tied’ of trying to placate a paying customer whose little darling is never wrong and couldn’t possibly be a discipline problem - or otherwise ‘what are we paying you for?’.
A fanatic is someone who will not change his mind and will not change the subject.
The subject is NOT public vs private school - it is the relationship between teacher (of whatever type) and the parent when discussing behavior problems.
But go on proving the validity of my observation, I know you can’t possibly change your mind or change the subject.
There is failure on both sides of the aisle.
However, remember that “trust me” is an old slang term for “f&^k you”.
Trust must be earned. The education system has lost much of the credit they once had earned. Teachers, as part of that system, get tarnished as well.
I see no need to read any further.
No, I’m not evil. I’m informed.
Which you are, obviously, not.
They say ignorance is bliss, so be happy.
Generations of citizens warehoused in godless, mob-ruled, and socialist-funded government schools have **caused ** the problems of which you complain.
Parents who are trained to think godless, who feel entitled to the resources of their neighbors, and who are comfortable with mob rule and NOT going to be effective parents.
It is axiomatic. Government school teachers can NOT be “good”.
Good teachers do not cooperate with destroying a child's faith and teaching him to think and reason godless. And...ALL government owned and run schools are godless. The child must think and reason godless just to cooperate in the classroom.
Good teachers do not cooperate with, assist, or uphold in any manner with the teaching of children to be comfortable with socialism. ALL government owned and run schools in this nation are socialist funded. Merely by attending children learn to feel **entitled** to their neighbor's money for a service their parents want for tuition-free.
Finally, good teachers do not help in any way with making children feel comfortable with mob rule control of their very thoughts, beliefs, and values. This is what government schools are. They are mob rule ( misnamed “school board”) over the very thoughts a child is to hold in his head and heart.
And...By the way, my husband is a cub scout master and Webelos leader and I am the Wolf den leader. We have done this job for our church for 3 years now. Three years ago we were asked by the regional leaders of our church to join the Spanish speaking congregation in our county. ( My husband and I are fluent in this language.)
“Trust must be earned”.
My kids have had wonderful teachers. Teachers that were fabulous with communication, information and just common sense. That being said, my two oldest kids have had a few bad ones... liberal agenda pushing people. One was bipolar (and not medicated well), one was an alcoholic who showed up to class drunk as a skunk and one was an outspoken “socialist” (she told her class that she was proud to be one) and took a personal disliking to any student who showed any conservative opinions or values. So... “trust is earned” is exactly correct. A parent has to know about the teacher and deal with them for a bit of time before taking their word as absolute truth. Fortunately, that is more of a problem with your first child.. by the time younger children get to school.. you know who is a “good” teacher and who should be “avoided” or ignored. Just a thought.
We are educated professionals who work with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than you do. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer.
If you want to be treated like an educated professional, quit hiding behind a union.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell a mom something her son did and she turns, looks at him and asks, "Is that true?" Well, of course it's true. I just told you. And please don't ask whether a classmate can confirm what happened or whether another teacher might have been present. It only demeans teachers and weakens the partnership between teacher and parent.
This is satire, right. Tell me it is satire. Go get another job and see if your word stands as an absolute. I'll wait...
How is teaching children to think godlessly, not evil?
How is teaching children to be comfortable and entitled to another’s labor to fund a service their parent's want for tuition-free not evil?
How is teaching children to submit to the will of the voting mob ( misnamed “school board”) over the very thoughts they think and hold in their hearts, not evil .
If the above is not evil it should be **easy** for you to explain why.
To which the administrator of a good private school will reply, "the same thing a few hundred other parents are paying for."
"Unless you like to buy us a new auditorium, perhaps this school is not a proper fit for your child."
I'll never for get the day my (then 7 yr old) daughter came home in tears after being humiliated in class by the teacher for "stealing" a pen from her desk. OR the phone call that came later that night apologizing for the accusation.
Had my wife not known the principle, I doubt the phone call would have ever come.
After six to seven hours in school, and one to two hours waiting for the school bus and getting to and from school, WHY, would any **child** be up to even more work in the home?
If adults don't want to do homework why why why do we expect **children** to work like they were high powered excutives? There is a name for this: Emtional Child Abuse!
Finally...Homework is the polite way of say parents and kids are fully responsible for AFTERschooing in material that the teacher had plenty of time to teach in 6 to 7 hours but didn't.
( By the way,...homeschoolers consistently tell me that they rarely spend more than 2 hours in formal homeschooling a day.)
I can agree that many, MANY parents defend their kids no matter what the situation. I have been on PTA boards, I have been on School Board Commissions and I have volunteered at schools and simply stated - if their kid just got out of juvenille delinquency detention for the last two years, all the problems that their kid is having is because of “this school” or “this teacher.” I have heard it hundreds of times!
The answer is NOT as simple as “listen up and take our advice” though. That is a BS way out for the schools and teachers! Because their “advice” is NOT based on what is best for student! Often it is based on what is good for the school and the teacher! And in the end any advice should be what is best for the STUDENT - PERIOD!
All of my daughters were in the TAG programs while in school. Our local school did not have enough TAG students, so they shut down those courses. My daughter became a “problem child” although she had NEVER been one before. During our parent/teacher converence, they suggested that we put her on a mood altering drug because she was talkative! I suggested that they provide her a “make-work” packet because she is BORED! I even volunteered to put the packet together, but they said that it was not their jobs to keep my daughter busy! After that, we home schooled her!
So, providing additional knowledge and learning to my daughter is NOT their job, but now they want to offer her/us MEDICAL ADVICE!?! No, “take our advice” is NOT the answer!
But what do you think happens to a teacher who keeps driving away paying customers because they have behavior problem children?
If the school is highly sought after in a high demand area then yes - they can effortlessly tell bad parents of bad children to take their money and go.
If the school is moderately sought after in a moderate demand area - and where you are offering a product that the government is giving away for ‘free’ - the economic reality is not so forgiving.
I have seen several “auditorium” parents - and it seems they WOULD rather buy a new auditorium for the school than to admit that their child is less than perfect and might need additional parenting and possibly even (gasp!) discipline.
The liberals who have controlled the educational system for at least 100 years instilled in the students who are today’s parents the attitudes, beliefs, and values that are the alleged problem.
The real problem is, and has been, the government school system.
And, by the way, the typical teacher today is neither educated nor a professional.
John Taylor Gatto is a former New York public schoolteacher who taught for thirty years and won multiple awards for his teaching. However, constant harassment by unhelpful administrations plus his own frustrations with what he came to realize were the inherent systemic deficiencies of our `public' schools led him to resign; he now is a school-choice activist who writes and speaks against our compulsory, government-run school system.I do recommend buying the book, but it is available for free at Gatto's site. Here is a link to Chapter Three from the Underground History.
I certainly wouldn't deny that I had some good teachers when I went to school, or that my kids had some good teachers when they went through school. We're sort of brainwashed to believe that.
Benjamin Franklin had NO teachers because he didn't go to school. He knew more and had read more by the time he was 16 years old than almost every college graduate does now by the time each receives his degree. He was hardly unique as you will find out if you read Underground History. A century ago most kids who didn't graduate from high school were well grounded in Latin and Greek. Something is very wrong.
In my own case I now realize that I taught myself most of the stuff I was interested in (math and science) long before they ever got to it in school. These classes mostly bored me because I knew the stuff already. And I learned not to like literature, history, and foreign language because all these things were forced upon me before I was ready to learn them. I still have trouble with foreign languages, but I'm exposed to it all the time and I wish I knew more. I'm still catching up on literature. As for history, I've probably read more and know more about it than 95% of the people who have history degrees. School was largely a waste of time for me; and not a small amount of time either.
I think the author makes a serious error by painting with too wide a brush.
Surely he is not talking about every parent.
Surely he is intelligent enough to use the simple modifier "some", as in What teachers really want to tell some parents.
Failing to do so categorizes "all" parents in the "failure to accept constructive criticism group".
I would bet that he and, all other teachers, would not appreciate reading an article with a headline that read "What parents really want to tell teachers", and then went on to list the failures of teachers, without specifying that the issue didn't apply to all teachers.
Hey teacher they aren’t YOUR kids and the parents are paying your salary.