There are many who reject the group think of the activist "gay community." Unfortunately, they're often treated not unlike black conservatives: as traitors to their kind.
I've written a few times on FR about how that "community" is militant in demanding conformity. Reject everything else you are to be one of us; reject your faith, your values, your politics, your family
Fortunately they don't get to everyone as you've witnessed.
A useful commentary about homosexuality and marriage.