Digging Up Dirt on Cain! (Vanity)

Mr. Griz

[mr_griz]

Okay people - please forgive the vanity, but this is a bit urgent. It appears that a true conservative (GASP) may end up being our nominee

In keeping with our long tradition of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, it's imperitive that we GOPers now assist the MSM in digging up dirt on Herman Cain

I'll get the ball rolling by posting what I already know:

I heard

• that he's a cross-dresser with ties to the Son of Sam Killer.
• Reports are beginning to surface, as well, that Cain robbed some Atlanta children who were running a lemonade stand of their earnings.
• There's a rumor I heard from a friend who has a friend who knows for certain that Cain practices ritual abuse killings of neighborhood cats inside of a pentagram in his basement.
• Some claim that Herman Cain murdered a man in New Orleans in a hushed up barfight episode
• Herman Cain often chuckles while reading the obituary section
• It's beginning to surface that Herman Cain once pulled Santa's beard as a child
• Those who know Cain best say that he spends all of his free time surfing Internet bestiality sites and chatting on 900 sex line numbers
• There's a story about Cain and an intern and a cigar (wait, that ones someone else)
• A campaign insider stated that Cain sometimes forgets to flush after tinkling
• A story about Cain beating his wife and children is going to break very shortly
• Herman Cain was caught jacking car stereos in Atlanta last week but it was hushed up.

Please add to this thread so that we can take this rascal down now and avoid the embarrassment of actually electing a true conservative to the White House!

[mbarker12474]

I heard that he is black. And a Republican. And a conservative.

[mr_griz]

Please add to Cain ping list <-:

[Pollster1]

Cain was born in Memphis, TN. A school principal was murdered in Memphis three months ago. Coincidence? I think not.

[Jay777]

His 999 plan was stolen from a video game, he downplays his actual health, and the big shocker....he is hiding his true net worth rumored to be around $18M! OMG! Guess the source?

[magslinger]

Cain killed his twin brother.

[Kartographer]

It's been said that it was Herman is who put the Freak in Atlanta's Freaknik.

[roaddog727]

you forgot the heinous acts of Cat Juggling and midget tossing.........

LOL

[NoGrayZone]

Your wish is granted!

[bwc2221]

They are going after Cain like they went after Sarah Palin. Very few people on the face of the earth could go through what Palin did - including having over 15,000 emails made public - and come out as clean as she did or hold up as well.

I pray that Cain can.

[DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis]

Don’t tell anyone, but I also heard from a very reliable source that Cain is responsible for the death of Christ, the Holocaust, and shoe laces that don’t stay tied.

[Cicero]

I heard from a secret source that he was responsible for breaking Karl Rove’s weather controller.

[Kartographer]

1. Cain ran a pizza operation called Godfather’s.

2. A Godfathers are what the heads of Itallian Ganster Organization are called.

3. Hence Herman Cain is not an American of African descent, but is actual a member of an Itallian American Organized Crime FAMILY!

[Retired Greyhound]

Cain once cut the tag off of his mattress.

[NoGrayZone]

I apologize for my rudeness (my first time being a Pinger). Welcome to the ping list. Glad to have you on board!!!

Again, sorry for my impolite welcome (((hug))).

[GraceG]

I heard he stopped beating his wife recently, but plans to start again in a few months....

[Retired Greyhound]

I also heard he is responsible the disappearance of left socks. Unlatching socks is a national disgrace.

[Thombo2]

Oh well...nobody’s perfect.He’s still got my vote:)

[SunStar]

If Cain did what is being alleged, it’s important that the facts come out prior to primary voting in January. I like Cain, but this should be fully fleshed-out ASAP, especially if he didn’t do anything wrong.

[mr_griz]

LOL - didn’t realize you were being rude <-: