Skip to comments.A Last Bastion of Civility, the South, Sees Manners Decline
Posted on 11/03/2011 1:43:37 PM PDT by marshmallow
ATLANTA One August night, two men walked into a popular restaurant attached to this citys fanciest shopping mall. They sat at the bar, ordered drinks and pondered the menu. Two women stood behind them.
A bartender asked if they would mind offering their seats to the ladies. Yes, they would mind. Very much.
Angry words came next, then a federal court date and a claim for more than $3 million in damages.
The men, a former professional basketball player and a lawyer, also happen to be black. The women are white. The mens lawyers argued that the Tavern at Phipps used a policy wrapped in chivalry as a cloak for discriminatory racial practices.
After a weeks worth of testimony in September, a jury decided in favor of the bar.
Certainly, the owners conceded, filling the bar with women offers an economic advantage because it attracts more men. But in the South, they said, giving up a seat to a lady is also part of a culture of civility.
At least, it used to be. The Tavern at Phipps case, and a growing portfolio of examples of personal and political behavior that belies a traditional code of gentility, have scholars of Southern culture and Southerners themselves wondering if civility in the South is dead, or at least wounded.
Manners are one of many things that are central to a Southerners identity, but they are not primary anymore. Things have eroded, said Charles Reagan Wilson, a professor of history and Southern culture at the University of Mississippi.
To be sure, strict rules regarding courtesy and deference to others have historically been used as a way to enforce a social order in which women and blacks were considered less than full citizens.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Should have given your damn seats, brutes.
That always seems to happen in the major cities of any state, seems the leftist values are concentrated in them.
“The men, a former professional basketball player and a lawyer...”
“and a lawyer” - there’s the source of the problem.
Hang the alwyer for what he is and does, and hang the basketball clown ongeneral principles.
OOPS! My mistake. I didn’t realize they were both black and therefore members of a priviliged class, allowed to be crude, rude, lewd, and also allowed to be all purpose Gimmie Pigs.
Should have offered the seats only if they allow them to join them for some socializing.
The NYT. Bless their little hearts.
(not saying the men in question were Yankees, but rather the influx of Yankees and the culture of the North have been the ruination of the South)
Well, if were talking old fashioned manners, two ladies wouldn’t be going into a saloon unescorted anyway.
It wasn’t the bartenders place to ask customers to give up their seats. But a 3 million dollar lawsuit is absurd.
Well, there's one source of the problem...
Just blame it on all the Yankees who have moved in...
Glad to say manners are still valued here in Virginia.
Women want equality until it doesn’t suit them. Then they revert to stating that men should be “gentlemen”. I say tell the women to go take a hike while they support ERA, NOW and affirmative action. Manners used to be important until women wanted things both ways.
Oh my goodness, I live in Palm Beach County FL. The rudest men on the planet as far as I can tell. If I open a door to go in or out, some man will about knock me over to get thru first. (ok, not every man, but enough of them to really be irritating). It always surprises me when we go back home to TX and NM on vacation and all of the men without fail open doors for me and are polite and smile. Man do I miss that here. Oh, and btw, I always thank men (or women) who hold a door or do anything else kind —I figure it encourages more kind behavior.
Have been to the Tavern many times. It is a very popular eatery. Plenty of cultural diversity so it just boiled down to two guys who did not want to give up their seats at the bar. Honestly, if you have to ask someone to do it why bother? Its still a semi free country.
The worst whoopin I ever received from my Father was after such an incident. We had a BBQ at my parents home, there were enough seats for all but one. I took it, and did not offer to give it to my female cousin when dad asked me to. I said, “I was here first”...I was about 16 or so. He picked me up by my collar...a little hair was involved, opened the back door with my face, opened the bedroom door with my face, then threw me into the bed. He said nicely, when you can apologize honestly, you can return to the party. I never left my room for the duration...lol. BIG MISTAKE, now he would be arrested. Of course then he would have left marks.
I was thirteen years old before I learned that “Damn Yankees” was TWO words...
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