Rosie O’Donnell and her driver are cruising down a country road one evening when a cow runs in front of the Mercedes. The driver tries to dodge the livestock, but ends up slamming into it, instantly killing the animal. Eyes brimming with tears, Rosie implores her driver to go to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.
About an hour later, the driver staggers back to the car in disarray. He’s holding a bottle of champagne in one hand and a cigar in the other. “How did it go?” Rosie asks.
“Well,” the driver says. “The farmer gave me this expensive champagne, and his wife gave me this cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad, passionate love to me.”
“My God,” Rosie says. “How did that happen?”
“I just walked up to the door and said, ‘I’m Rosie O’Donnell’s driver, and I just killed the cow.’”
A colored woman goes to see her pastor and confess she had had sex with a stranger that week.
As she confessed....(Comment removed by me before the moderator sees it!)
And it was funny!