Here’s my favourite one.
One delightful Sunday afternoon, there was a Newfie fisherman out on his rowboat. Every Sunday he would do the exact same thing, scuttle about for the afternoon and sing his song:
“I’s the guy who buys the boat and I’s the guy who rows it.”
Over and over again.
This Sunday, however, St. Peter took notice of this simple fisherman and his devotion to his one song. So he decided to play a little game.
I wonder what would happen if I took half the man’s brain away? So he prays, and God sees that it is done.
The Newfie in the rowboat stops his cadence, and releases the oars. He picks them up again and starts singing, “I’s the guy who buys the boat and I’s the guy who rows it”.
Just as he has before.
St. Peter is even more amused by this. So he begins to wonder, what happens if God were to take half his brain away again? So he prays and it is done.
The Newfie fisherman pauses in his cadence and releases the oars. Then he begins to sing, “I’s the guy who buys the boat and I’s the guy who rows it!”
So St. Peter, indulging his curiousity, ponders what would happen if he had no brain at all. So he prays to God once more and it is done.
The Newfie fisherman pauses his cadence once more and releases his oars. He picks them up again and begins to sing:
Je te plumerai.”
Strictly a Canadian insider joke!
I was trying to remember things my kids have said that were funny.
My son was perhaps 7 or so. The older neighbor kid called his sister “pyscho”. My boy defended the sister and yell at the boy “yeah - well you’re GARBAGE!”
We explained to him that it was not okay to call people “garbage”. He replied “Well he called her RECYCLE!” (I immediatly realized that the school indoctrination of environmentalism was taking hold!)
I had just bought a new truck - a Chevy Avalanche. I took the kids up into the mountains to go play in the snow. We passed by a cannon up on a stand, and was telling them they use that to shoot artillery shells to knock down the avalanches. About 30 seconds and a half-mile down the road, obviously after thinking about it a bit, my 4 -year old daughter in all seriousness asks “Dad - they’re not going to shoot at our Avalanche are they?”
Blond walks in to see her boss. There is a Thermos bottle on his desk. “What’s that?”, she asks.
“That’s a Thermos bottle. It keeeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”
Next day, she has a Thermos bottle too. The boss asks, “What’s in it”.
She proudly says, “Hot tea and a popsicle”