Skip to comments.Night of the evil Butterball(MA)
Posted on 11/25/2011 5:28:49 AM PST by marktwain
This is my traditional Thanksgiving essay from The War on Guns.
Attacks by roving flocks of wild turkeys are on the increase around suburban Boston--AP
Time was, the turkey was considered a game bird. The Pilgrims at Plymouth feasted on them. Generations later, Ben Franklin considered it such a useful fowl that he nominated it for the national bird.
Of course, this was in the days when the right to bear arms was taken for granted, when free people hunted turkeys for sustenance, all the while honing marksmanship that would serve them well in time of need.
Fast-forward to present-day Boston, a place of sacred tradition, the literal forge for our heritage of individual liberty. Except Boston is now a place where traditions have been betrayed. Its current overlords have succeeded in disarming the whole people in a way that General Gage could never have conceived possible.
So successful have these rulers been that the city that gave us Sam Adams and Paul Revere is now a city under siege, and this is fittingly ironic if you think about it, by wild turkeys. So helpless and hapless are Boston's modern-day patriots, they can do little except retreat from the aggressive gobblers, escape, hole up and plead for rescue from the very authorities that enforce public impotence.
This is what the heirs of The Sons of Liberty have been reduced to. This is what they have allowed, and in many cases, demanded. Human beings, with dominion over the earth, scurrying from turkeys. The tolerated degradation of the masses is damned near complete.
Well, history shows that you can take most weepy nervous nellie milktoasts, run them through 6 weeks of training/indoctrination, and make fair killers of them.
We have become a society of wusses, Marktwain. I saw a male neighbor RUN away... literally yelling for help because he saw a little fox. The fox was simply walking through the yards (no aggression or anything) and he RUNS. You should have seen my husband and son laughing at him... tears running down their faces. So, yes, some grown men afraid of a few wild turkeys... doesn’t surprise me at all.
Watch When Turkeys Attack 10 Terrifying Gobblers. You'll be too petrified to ever set foot outside again!
May compete with all the Japanese Godzilla films.
Is there a link to the rest of the story?
I wholeheartedly agree with you about the ‘pussification’ of the American male.
However, wrestling with a wild turkey may not be such a good idea. A friend of mine nearly lost his German Shorthair when he sicced him on a large Tom. $400 in vet bills to sew him back together. The poor dog was spurred from head to toe.
Turkey’s are tougher than you’d think.
That is why I specified that I would use a stick. It is best to use a weapon instead of bare hands and feet. As you say, they are tough enough to do you some damage.
I think that the author, David Codrea, is also making this point.
you might want to check those programs ... you’ll find they are a pale example of what they were. no more ‘break them down to build them up’ thanks to bjclinton
During Army basic training, we were given M16s, compasses, and maps, and told to find our way through the woods. Our instructors also warned us that the woods were home to turkeys and wild pigs, both of which could be dangerous.
I ran across a turkey. At that point, it occurred to me that some ammo for the M16 might have been nice to have. I guess I could have used the M16 as a club had it attacked...
Later on, I told my fellow trainees that if it weren’t for the lack of ammo, we could have been having fresh turkey instead of MREs for dinner.
They’re emboldened because they’re not being hunted. There is a large and growing population here, too, but they run away from people, for the most part. My mom has close to twenty that wander up across the fields and into her yard, and they’ll flee if they even see her in a window. They’re not exactly beautiful birds. The Toms can be sort of showy, but they’re the ones that are most likely to come after you if provoked, lol.
Thats why they invented the shotgun. LOL!!!
If you can get close enough to a turkey to wack the turkey with a stick you should be a hunting guide. Wild turkeys are as wary as any animal in N America. Dumb but wary.
Well hunting the fowl is the easy part. Even a small girl or an old grandmother could hunt down a turkey for the family dinner. Nothing particularly manly in that. If you want to show off how manly you are, go build a wood fence, splitting your own rails and digging your own posts.
The hard part about getting a wild turkey on the dinner table is skinning and dressing it. That's where fun romping in the woods turns into hard work and most men who brag about killing the turkey will have nothing to do with it.
I did not work to be at the top of the food chain only to meekly give up the position. I recall Dwight Eisenhower writing about how he was intimidated by aggressive domestic geese when he was a small boy, and how he was told to take a stick to them. He was the one to be feared by the fowl after that.
Understood but my reply was in response to those who come to brag about how they bagged a turkey when they were 9-years-old and still in short pants.
Toms can be mean birds at times. People can get hurt by their talons. Because of that, I’m quite willing to take my Mossberg and a turkey license and save the day if they are bothering someone on their property. :)
I’ll even remove the turkey from the premises.
Cityfolk..... I'd be laughing too. A fox? Not even a coyote? I may run for my gun or a hockey stick if the fox showed aggression at me (rabies) but just standing there in the yard? Bwahaha. I'd only be that petrified of a fox if I was a rabbit.
Over the last 10 years I have seen large numbers of incidents that made the news which could have been solved quietly with a cheap pellet gun.
I am amazed at how pussified many of our men have become.
Rules are slightly different in suburbia, but that's more do with those who feed them, eliminating Tom, Jake, and Hen's fear of people. That's also where you have the aggression, and fear of them.
I disagree about turkeys being wary but dumb, at least here in the People’s Republic of Massachusetts. They don’t seem to be particularly concerned about getting out of the way of cars as they amble across the street, and don’t often flee from leashed or invisible-fence hobbled dogs. I think they’re smart enough to know that, like illegal aliens, they’re a protected class of inhabitants, or at least smart enough to read the signs at my town’s borders saying “Firearm discharge prohibited within town limits.”
Hope your Thanksgiving was a blessed event.