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In Positive Economic Sign, Walmart Customers Killing Each Other to Buy ----
Borowitz Report ^ | November 25, 2011 | Andy Borowitz

Posted on 11/25/2011 5:20:15 PM PST by EveningStar

In what economists are hailing as a clear sign of economic recovery, Walmart customers across the USA jammed into stores on Black Friday, sometimes killing each other to buy useless ----.

(Excerpt) Read more at borowitzreport.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: andyborowitz; blackfriday; borowitz; borowitzreport; collapse; consumerism; default; satire; teotwawki; walmart; whitetrashcentral

1 posted on 11/25/2011 5:20:25 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: Slings and Arrows; martin_fierro

ping


2 posted on 11/25/2011 5:21:38 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: EveningStar
BLOG PIMP! AHHHHHHHHHH!


3 posted on 11/25/2011 5:22:35 PM PST by NakedRampage (Puttin' the "stud" in Bible study)
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To: EveningStar
It is weird that they concentrate on three or four idiots throughout the last 24 hours instead of concentrating on the millions that behaved themselves. So typical of the media and FREEPERS eat it up. Sad!!!
4 posted on 11/25/2011 5:23:29 PM PST by napscoordinator (Anybody but Romney, Newt, Perry, Huntsman, Paul. Perry and Obama are 100 percent the same!!!!!)
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To: EveningStar

Satire or not, it shows the extremity of materialism in this country, even in times of desperation. When people wait in lines for hours and days to buy TVs, blu-rays and other useless crap instead of doing something useful such as praying for our country....it’s sick!


5 posted on 11/25/2011 5:26:58 PM PST by wk4bush2004 ("FREEDOM, PROSPERITY, RESPONSIBILITY: RICK PERRY 2012!")
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To: napscoordinator

Anyone who gets up at 4AM to line up to buy Chinese-made junk is an idiot, in my opinion. Whether they behaved themselves or not.


6 posted on 11/25/2011 5:27:46 PM PST by Astronaut
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To: EveningStar

Why does customers fighting to save a buck at Christmas men a better economical outlook.

IMO it means a worse outlook. People who have money won’t fight in these crowds for a cheap gift.


7 posted on 11/25/2011 5:31:28 PM PST by Venturer
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To: Astronaut
Get used to it. Everything is made in China these days.

Apple Computer=100% made in China
Walmart=80% imported from China.

Who is hated more?

8 posted on 11/25/2011 5:33:34 PM PST by MrsEmmaPeel (a government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take everything you have)
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To: Astronaut

Maybe but thank God we have this system. As conservatives, we should support this is capitalism which we love.


9 posted on 11/25/2011 5:34:30 PM PST by napscoordinator (Anybody but Romney, Newt, Perry, Huntsman, Paul. Perry and Obama are 100 percent the same!!!!!)
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To: EveningStar

With each passing day we look more and more like a street scene from Soylent Green. Total societal meltdown seems imminent.


10 posted on 11/25/2011 5:35:48 PM PST by SpaceBar
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To: NakedRampage

1. I’m not Andy Borowitz.
2. I don’t work for Andy Borowitz.
3. I was not aware that the Borowitz Report is a blog. It looks like a regular website to me.


11 posted on 11/25/2011 5:37:14 PM PST by EveningStar
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To: Venturer

>>Why does customers fighting to save a buck at Christmas men a better economical outlook.

I agree. The combination of amorality, entitlement mentality, and the bad economy are reaching a boiling point as evidenced by some of the insane things that occurred today. When the welfare checks don’t go out, or get cut one day in the future, the zombie hordes will take to the street to “take what they’s owed” (sic).


12 posted on 11/25/2011 5:38:05 PM PST by Bryanw92 (The solution to fix Congress: Nuke em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure!)
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To: EveningStar

lol


13 posted on 11/25/2011 5:38:27 PM PST by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Pursue Happiness)
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To: SpaceBar

On second thought, maybe armored garbage trucks scooping people up off the streets of Los Angeles for processing isn’t such a bad thing.


14 posted on 11/25/2011 5:42:48 PM PST by SpaceBar
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To: SpaceBar
A street scene from Obama's Updated Soylent Green Society.

GreenJobs6

15 posted on 11/25/2011 5:49:09 PM PST by BobP (The piss-stream media - Never to be watched again in my house)
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To: SpaceBar

Soylent green, it’s people....................


16 posted on 11/25/2011 6:10:49 PM PST by leaning conservative (snow coming, school cancelled, yayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!)
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To: NakedRampage; EveningStar

Aw, c’mon. The article was short, sweet, to the point and rather amusing.

Give “EveningStar” a break.

At least the article gave me a chuckle. With Obama, Congress, the MSM, elitests, OWS protesters and every other jerk-off running this nation into the ground, it’s refreshing to have something to laugh at for a change.

JMO.

Ernie


17 posted on 11/25/2011 6:21:47 PM PST by Ernie Kaputnik ((It's a mad, mad, mad world.))
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To: napscoordinator

Exactly! Don’t go blaming Christmas shopping for these peoples’ behavior. These are the same types that blow each other away at weddings, birthdays, funerals....It has nothing to do with Christmas shopping.


18 posted on 11/25/2011 6:22:05 PM PST by GrannyAnn
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To: GrannyAnn

Very very accurate post that you provided!!!!!!


19 posted on 11/25/2011 6:27:38 PM PST by napscoordinator (Anybody but Romney, Newt, Perry, Huntsman, Paul. Perry and Obama are 100 percent the same!!!!!)
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To: EveningStar
It was funny. I would have missed it otherwise. Thanks for posting it.
20 posted on 11/25/2011 6:31:20 PM PST by hinckley buzzard
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To: SpaceBar
heh heh. Maybe they were on to something.
21 posted on 11/25/2011 6:32:34 PM PST by hinckley buzzard
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To: EveningStar

“In what economists are hailing as a clear sign of economic recovery...”

Quite the opposite, in fact.

If there were an economic “recovery” in progress, shoppers wouldn’t be so insanely desperate to knock each other down in pursuit of overstock merchandise.


22 posted on 11/25/2011 6:35:31 PM PST by Jack Hammer
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To: EveningStar
"Mr. Logsdon advised Americans not to enter a Walmart unarmed. “If you want to get your hands on a doorbuster, you’d better have a firearm,” he said."


23 posted on 11/25/2011 6:53:00 PM PST by familyop (We Baby Boomers are croaking in an avalanche of rotten politics smelled around the world.)
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To: EveningStar
“Egyptians risk their lives for new government,” he said. “Americans bravely do the same for new flat screens.”
24 posted on 11/25/2011 6:55:25 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: EveningStar

Gives a whole new meaning to ‘green shoots’.


25 posted on 11/25/2011 7:08:27 PM PST by Free Vulcan (Vote Republican! You can vote Democrat when you're dead.)
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To: EveningStar

Um, nobody was killed as far as I know. That usually happens with drug sales.


26 posted on 11/25/2011 7:30:53 PM PST by popdonnelly (Socialism isn't going to work this time, either.)
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To: MrsEmmaPeel
Get used to it. Everything is made in China these days. Apple Computer=100% made in China Walmart=80% imported from China. Who is hated more?

ummmm let me see... information technology that revolutionized the civilization or schlocky white trash outings?

I'll take Apple, thx.

27 posted on 11/25/2011 8:00:28 PM PST by the invisib1e hand (guitars and women.)
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To: MrsEmmaPeel

Haven’t seen a stampede at an Apple store yet, knock on wood.


28 posted on 11/25/2011 8:02:24 PM PST by the invisib1e hand (guitars and women.)
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To: the invisib1e hand

No discounts in Apple stores, and $5 discounts on Apple products elsewhere.


29 posted on 11/25/2011 8:04:13 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: EveningStar

Did you see the videos on the news programs? It’s not just the usual Amish. Shameful!


30 posted on 11/25/2011 8:05:37 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: Revolting cat!
No discounts in Apple stores, and $5 discounts on Apple products elsewhere.

Keeps the riff raff out. I'd gladly pay the extra fin for the service I get there.

31 posted on 11/25/2011 8:12:49 PM PST by the invisib1e hand (guitars and women.)
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To: napscoordinator

Oh, I do support it. I am a capitalist. The free market has decided that it should cater to idiots who want to camp out in front of Best Buy. Its just a shame that America is populated by so many idiots these days, and that people are that gullible and easily manipulated. But I suppose that explains Obama’s ascension to the presidency...


32 posted on 11/26/2011 12:15:00 PM PST by Astronaut
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