I've already admitted that this is not my strong area of understanding. Are you interested in enlightening us?
Tim Judah's "Kosovo: War and Revenge" is a good primer, if you're really interested.
If you're not, Kosovo's history is like the "Itchy and Scratchy" show, except with real blood, where the role of victim changes back and forth with the passing of the years.
might help if you have the stomach for it.
My take on this is that it’s a 3-sided cluster with no good guys in sight, not the three principals (Serbs, Croats, Bosniaks), not any of the outside players (us, the EU, the Russians, the Chinese).
There were plenty of atrocities in every direction among the 3 principals.
The flame wars over the Balkans in the late 90s and early 2000s when I started lurking/posting on FR were legendary.