Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Watch Out! Polar Bear Cannibalism Rises on Global Warming!
Townhall.com ^ | December 16, 2011 | John Ransom

Posted on 12/16/2011 4:54:18 AM PST by Kaslin

Yesterday we learned, to our great joy, that we no longer have to worry about the twin evils of global warming and hurricanes combining to stop Obama’s stimulus plan.

For those of you who missed yesterday’s column, we showed that the not-greedy scientists, who very unlike the Republican bankers who took down the whole housing sector just because they are greedy… well, the scientists anyway demonstrated that hurricanes and global warming are not in any way scientifically or romantically linked.

In a work published in late November on the site for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the chief scientist studying hurricanes in the US concludes that “the overall impact of global warming on hurricanes is currently negligible and likely to remain quite tiny even a century from now.”

Hurray! Finally, some good news.

Previously it was part of the liberal religion that you must say out loud at least several times a week that intense hurricanes have been ravaging the world on account of global warming caused in part by greedy Republican bankers who took down the housing sector because they are greedy, except Warren Buffett and George Soros who aren’t greedy or Republican. 

George and Warren just got really lucky, accidentally.

Like Obama’s friends George Kaiser and Jon Corzine did.

So, anywho… as I was saying, there was great celebration in liberal-land because it turns out that we aren’t having more and worse hurricanes than in the past on account of global warming.

Presumably as a liberal you now no longer have to mindlessly repeat that hurricanes and global warming are linked, which is good news for liberals because: 1) it means we are safer from hurricanes than was presumed in the past; and 2) it wasn’t, you know… true.   

But if anything is certain in life it is this: that once you allocate to scientists federal grant money, they’ll selflessly exert themselves to find out what in the world is wrong with mankind even if they have to spend more and more money every year doing it selflessly!

Those are just the kind of guys scientists are.

So it was unsurprising that after dodging that whole hurricane bullet yesterday scientists revealed- or at least writers who have a website with the word “science” in the name revealed- that there could be an epidemic of polar bear cannibals on account of global warming, which by now, we all know was caused by the global meltdown of the real estate market caused by greedy Republican bankers who are both greedy and Republican.

And there is only one thing worse than polar bear cannibals.

That is…drum-roll… all together now: greedyrepublicanbankers.

So, anywho… as I was saying, this website with the word “science” in it called livescience.com asks the question that we all, at least subconsciously, have been asking ourselves for years: Is Global Warming Driving Polar Bears to Cannibalism?

The answer is: yes, according to people who write about stuff that scientists say on the spur of the moment.

Livescience.com, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Tech Media Network, by its own account, is made up of “science reporters, editors and video producers” who have unimpeachable resumes with academic degrees in studies like Olde English, Arts and Journalism. The journalism degree alone ought to disqualify anyone from writing about anything.   

Well some of these reporters rounded up the scientists who previously miscounted the polar bear population- sparking the theory that polar bear populations had reached the lowest levels ever- and these reporters did a hard hitting story about a new theory these scientists have.

Presumably they are looking for a new theory that can be debunked in ten years after millions in grant money is spent studying the theory in order to fill the hole in the global warming theory now that hurricanes aren’t as scary anymore.

So, anywho… “A new article in the journal Arctic,” writes livescience.com, “suggests that polar bear cannibalism — typically the predation of small bears or cubs by much larger adult males — is either much more commonplace than previously thought, or has lately become more common. In the paper, leading polar bear biologist Ian Stirling and nature photographer Jenny Ross detail three recent instances of the behavior among polar bears in Norway's Svalbard Archipelago, each of which was photographed from the decks of ecotourism and research boats anchored a few hundred yards away.”

And the cause of this eco-outrage? That’s right: global warming. The greedy Republican bankers are implied.

Ok, so Sterling made a mistake by undercounting polar bears by an order of magnitude of five times.

Ok, so he’s postulating a theory on the basis of only three pictures.

So what’s the big deal? It’s not like science needs to be an exact art form. Guessing is an important part of mainstream global warming science that has an honorable tradition going back to traveling carnivals in America. 

But there is one thing that bothers me:

I thought it was more likely that polar bears would team up with “the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires,” than become cannibals.

Polar bears always seemed more like Republicans than liberals to me.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: georgekaiser; globalwarming; joncorzine

1 posted on 12/16/2011 4:54:21 AM PST by Kaslin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Kaslin; Myrddin; Eye of Unk; Jeff Head; Squantos
Okay, I know he's not a polar bear. It's still a cool picture.


2 posted on 12/16/2011 4:59:37 AM PST by Travis McGee (www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Don’t eat thier liver!!

Too much Vitimin A—it’ll kill ya!


3 posted on 12/16/2011 5:00:46 AM PST by Flintlock (Photo ID for all voters. Let the dead rest in peace.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

So what’s new they have always ate their own.


4 posted on 12/16/2011 5:10:38 AM PST by boomop1 (term limits is the only way to save this country.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Chinese artist Vincent J.F. Huang has created a sculpture of a polar bear, chewing on Obama's severed head. He based it on an image in a story on polar bear cannibalism, and speculation that the animals are more likely to eat each other as global warming limits their more traditional food sources. But as for why he chose Obama, Huang said it's because we're all the same as far as the bears are concerned.
5 posted on 12/16/2011 5:16:39 AM PST by TSgt (Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

male lions, will eat the young of other males....this insures only their genes will survive.

male bears will eat the young of any female bear of the same species, this forces her into estrus early and allows him a better chance to mate...


6 posted on 12/16/2011 5:17:00 AM PST by Vaquero ("an armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin
Cute little bears...

7 posted on 12/16/2011 5:18:07 AM PST by TSgt (Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TSgt
Red: It's the color of Coca Cola!


8 posted on 12/16/2011 5:20:38 AM PST by aruanan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Travis McGee
Anybody dumb enough to think that he's safe to take a picture because 'bears can't climb trees' deserves an education.

I hope the photo was taken just before he plugged it.

9 posted on 12/16/2011 5:24:57 AM PST by Carry_Okie (The Democrats are and always have been the Party of the Extremely Rich, the Party of Slavery.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: TSgt
But as for why he chose Obama, Huang said it's because we're all the same as far as the bears are concerned.

Funny to see how the artist's unexamined and uncorrected percepts about the human face have led him to make a Chinese-looking Obama. And the bear (because it's so small) looks a bit more like a big white dog than a polar bear.
10 posted on 12/16/2011 5:26:24 AM PST by aruanan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Travis McGee

It amazes me how many times we see an incident like a car wreck and a motorcyclist, people running to join as one to lift the car from the rider and yet some stand back taking pictures.

BTW that was an incident not too long ago that was all over the net and the tube, I know the rider as he was riding a Honda CX500 as so do I and we post on that bikes forum a lot, he is doing well.

Perhaps some smart person will integrate a miniature camera lens to mount on pistol or rifle rails so at least the picture taker can have some offensive purpose other than just getting hits on Youtube.

Frankly its possible its already out there but should be very easy to mount such just using a simple Walmart camera.


11 posted on 12/16/2011 5:46:14 AM PST by Eye of Unk (Castigo Cay by Matt Bracken, check it out. And his other works.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: aruanan
I refuse to buy Coke in those white cans and everyone else should too.

I think Rush mentioned on his show that the white Coke can campaign is a huge flop.

12 posted on 12/16/2011 5:54:32 AM PST by Beagle8U (Free Republic -- One stop shopping ....... It's the Conservative Super WalMart for news .)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Eye of Unk
Frankly its possible its already out there but should be very easy to mount such just using a simple Walmart camera.

Other than violating #2 of Cooper's Rules "Never let the muzzle cover anything you are not willing to destroy." I challenge you to find a holster, duty or concealed that will accommodate a pistol attachment. Attaching anything to the muzzle, whether flashlight or camera is begging for an unnecessary death due to a ND.

13 posted on 12/16/2011 5:54:47 AM PST by The Theophilus (Obama's Key to win 2012: Ban Haloperidol)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: The Theophilus; Eye of Unk
http://www.pimall.com/nais/guncam.html

14 posted on 12/16/2011 6:06:55 AM PST by TSgt (Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Beagle8U
I refuse to buy Coke in those white cans and everyone else should too.
Since Coke got in bed with the WWF and this polar bear hoax, I no longer buy Coke.
15 posted on 12/16/2011 6:14:50 AM PST by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: oh8eleven
I still buy it, but not in the white cans. The white can Coke is the polar bear BS support. The WWF only gets donations from the sale of those.

If people still buy in red cans, and reject the white cans, they get the direct message about the polar bear BS being rejected.

16 posted on 12/16/2011 6:38:45 AM PST by Beagle8U (Free Republic -- One stop shopping ....... It's the Conservative Super WalMart for news .)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Beagle8U
If people still buy in red cans
Sorry, I want no part of any corporation that openly supports global warming in any way.
I drank Coke for 50+ years. Never again.
17 posted on 12/16/2011 7:01:19 AM PST by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Perhaps the decline in polar bears is caused by more polar bears becoming gay. What a dilemma that would make for liberals.


18 posted on 12/16/2011 7:08:32 AM PST by The Great RJ ("The problem with socialism is that pretty soon you run out of other people's money" M. Thatcher)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Beagle8U
If people still buy in red cans, and reject the white cans, they get the direct message about the polar bear BS being rejected.

I was under the impression that the white cans got "canned" because people were picking them up thinking they were Diet Coke when they weren't. The red cans are part of the campaign, too.

19 posted on 12/16/2011 7:14:57 AM PST by thulldud (Is it "alter or abolish" time yet?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin
You mean Polar Bears don't go and hug Nissan Leaf drivers?


20 posted on 12/16/2011 7:17:21 AM PST by dfwgator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TSgt

I bet one could take a pinhole camera and have it with a memory stick or a wireless connection to the persons cellphone.

I have seen bigger rail attachment pieces of equipment that still went into a modified holster.

Now I am thinking about integrating a camera with a varmint scope that uses a collimator green laser illumination tube.

Cabelas sells these, I have been thinking about getting one, interestingly enough with off the shelf game cameras and an infrared illumator a person could create a poor mans nightvision riflescope.

Again if one was so inclined they could take any camera equipped cellphone, remove the camera, attach an extension lead, have the cellphone body back in a foreend housing....

Sorry, just perusing some ideas and being a hobbyist gunsmith and a tinkerer this is giving me some ideas.

But back to the image of a bear chasing me up the tree I seriously doubt I would be taking any camera pics, those kind of people usually wind up being little bear turds with bells in them.Or camera pieces.


21 posted on 12/16/2011 7:31:15 AM PST by Eye of Unk (Castigo Cay by Matt Bracken, check it out. And his other works.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: oh8eleven
Well, I guess I can dump coke too. I'll buy unbranded at Wallyworld.

I refuse to allow pepsi in the house because they push the queer agenda.

22 posted on 12/16/2011 7:48:10 AM PST by Beagle8U (Free Republic -- One stop shopping ....... It's the Conservative Super WalMart for news .)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Beagle8U
I think Rush mentioned on his show that the white Coke can campaign is a huge flop.

They canned the promotion.
23 posted on 12/16/2011 9:33:25 AM PST by aruanan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: aruanan

Yea, they had to. They were bearly making any sales.


24 posted on 12/16/2011 12:01:17 PM PST by taxcontrol
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Travis McGee

One thing missing from your picture, a pile of sh** at the feet of the guy in the tree. Perhaps his pants kept it from falling that far?


25 posted on 12/16/2011 12:57:26 PM PST by calex59
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Flintlock

That’s dog liver that’ll do ya in.

In all my readings, expert opinion seemed to be divided over Polar Bear liver.


26 posted on 12/16/2011 2:09:13 PM PST by sinanju
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Travis McGee
That scene could make you pee your pants. Might as well engage in aimed fire :-)
27 posted on 12/16/2011 4:48:14 PM PST by Myrddin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: TSgt

Wow a camera dedicated to making snuff films.


28 posted on 12/16/2011 7:06:07 PM PST by The Theophilus (Obama's Key to win 2012: Ban Haloperidol)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin
 This just in!!
 
 
Bear cannibilism is SPREADING!!!
http://www.sltrib.com/csp/cms/sites/sltrib/pages/printerfriendly.csp?id=52083940
 
 
 
 
 
 
<snip> adult male grizzlies, which sometimes kill cubs not their own </snip>
 
 
All due, no doubt, to GLOBAL WARMING!!!
 
 
 
<snip> Numbers are up from a couple hundred in the 1970s to perhaps as many as 1,000 or more. </snip>
 
Or overcrowding...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

29 posted on 12/17/2011 4:40:54 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Beagle8U
The WWF only gets donations from the sale of those.

And we appreciate your business!


30 posted on 12/17/2011 4:45:52 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: thulldud
I was under the impression that the white cans got "canned" because people were picking them up thinking they were Diet Coke when they weren't.

That happened to me!

Wifey drinks the Diet (no; it AIN'T working) and I the regular.

I accidently gave her one of mine to take to work.

She was NOT happy - said it tasted like battery acid. (She got that from me when I sip HER stuff!)

I hadn't realized how close the labels were, as Coke® is ALWAYS doing something to their cans.

31 posted on 12/17/2011 4:50:16 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: Eye of Unk
...I seriously doubt I would be taking any camera pics...

Only if they make a fanny pack camera; 'cause THAT is the thing that'll be pointed in the bears direction!

32 posted on 12/17/2011 4:52:06 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: calex59

Remember folks:

Always hike, camp, hunt or eco-tour with someone who runs SLOWER than you do!


33 posted on 12/17/2011 4:53:47 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Elsie
She was NOT happy - said it tasted like battery acid.

My sis sometimes gets ribbed for drinking a Diet Coke with a candy bar, as if she is supposed to be thinking the diet drink "cancels" the candy. But the fact is, she drinks Diet Coke for the taste, not for the "diet".

34 posted on 12/17/2011 9:06:46 AM PST by thulldud (Is it "alter or abolish" time yet?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson