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Secret document reveals why BMW drivers are asshats
Jalopnik ^

Posted on 12/21/2011 12:23:43 AM PST by Impala64ssa

A leaked document has revealed that the asshattery of BMW drivers may be more than coincidence. Failing to use turn signals, cutting off other drivers, tailgating, flipping the bird and other affronts to road civility have become indelibly associated with the Bavarian Marque. Why? According to the document, it's all part of a totally illegal customer loyalty scheme.

This template document, issued to all BMW dealers (click the image below to expand), comes to us from an anonymous informant known only as "The Whistleblower." It clearly outlines a list of driving behaviors, recorded on the black boxes that have been standard on all new BMWs for several years now and translated into points.

Accumulated points can then be traded for the kind of fabulous prizes middle management Bimmer drivers most covet, such as anger management classes and male botox injections.

(Excerpt) Read more at jalopnik.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: bmw
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Any Bimmer owners, I'm just kidding ;) The nut behind the steering wheel is a defect that can be found in any car.
1 posted on 12/21/2011 12:23:47 AM PST by Impala64ssa
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To: Impala64ssa

Damn you Helmut!


2 posted on 12/21/2011 12:24:52 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Impala64ssa

Seriously, why do people in “rich” cars have no manners?
Why do people in jacked up pick ups “crawl” over speed bumps?
Why do people in Vettes limit themselves to “30 mph”?


3 posted on 12/21/2011 12:27:52 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Impala64ssa

I just wave and smile.


4 posted on 12/21/2011 12:30:23 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mylife

Why are there too many people loaded in a Gremlin?


5 posted on 12/21/2011 12:33:00 AM PST by Carthego delenda est
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To: Impala64ssa

It goes both ways. Psych studies have shown that wealthy people tend to be more calloused about social graces, due to the lesser need for them, because they are more self-sufficient.

But people who see BMW or other expensive cars will tend to show the drivers of these cars less courtesy, in terms of other drivers letting them into their lane or slowing down so BMW drivers can turn onto the street from parking lots and such.


6 posted on 12/21/2011 12:33:24 AM PST by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Impala64ssa

How about the idiots who use turn signals when there is no need for one. Such as they are in a place where they have to make a turn. My observation is that same people fail to put on their headlights when it rains. Plus they don’t signal when they should at least as a courtesy/heads up to others


7 posted on 12/21/2011 12:34:32 AM PST by dennisw (A nation of sheep breeds a government of Democrat wolves!)
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To: Carthego delenda est

Hey, a lime green Gremlin with denim seats is very humbling.

LoL


8 posted on 12/21/2011 12:35:08 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Carthego delenda est

You should see what kind of load capacity a Pacer has!


9 posted on 12/21/2011 12:36:42 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Impala64ssa

What I can’t figure is why people pry themselves in and out of such a small passenger cabin of the BMW. Except for the 720 they all seem like compact cars to me.

Must be the driving experience.


10 posted on 12/21/2011 12:37:52 AM PST by gunsequalfreedom (Conservative is not a label of convenience. It is a guide to your actions.)
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To: Jonty30

Interesting insight.


11 posted on 12/21/2011 12:38:24 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: dennisw
How about the idiots who use turn signals when there is no need for one.

How about the people that drive the speed limit in the FAST lane and make everyone else go around them on the right. I can handle the endless turn signals.

12 posted on 12/21/2011 12:39:20 AM PST by gunsequalfreedom (Conservative is not a label of convenience. It is a guide to your actions.)
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To: dennisw

I am guilty of the useless turn signal. I do it sub-consciously. If I am about to make a turn, my hand automatically flips the lever. My daughter just pointed this out to me this weekend when I was pulling into a parking spot in an empty parking lot.


13 posted on 12/21/2011 12:39:25 AM PST by Explorer89 (And now, let the wild rumpus start!!)
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To: mylife
Why do people in jacked up pick ups “crawl” over speed bumps?

It may be high, but the bounce is exaggerated up there.

Why do people in Vettes limit themselves to “30 mph”?

Because they know the radar gun will be pointed at them first.

14 posted on 12/21/2011 12:41:22 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: Jonty30

And there are LOTS of them in Los Angeles. Oh, lots. Lots and lots and lots.


15 posted on 12/21/2011 12:41:22 AM PST by A_perfect_lady
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To: gunsequalfreedom
I like the Volkswagen Phaeton. I just need a bit of money.


16 posted on 12/21/2011 12:42:01 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Smokin' Joe

Seems like a waste.


17 posted on 12/21/2011 12:42:48 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Explorer89

Who are the people that flip on the right hand blinker and then make a left?


18 posted on 12/21/2011 12:44:14 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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Who are the people that flip on the right hand blinker and then make a left?

Across 3 lanes? This just happened to me last week.

19 posted on 12/21/2011 12:45:27 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: A_perfect_lady

Which makes it a common car, not a luxury car down there. :)


20 posted on 12/21/2011 12:47:40 AM PST by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: All

Yeesh, and people are skeered of guns.

Our roads are full of 5K lb missiles guided by idiots sitting on 25 gallons of petrol..


21 posted on 12/21/2011 12:47:47 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mylife

I don’t know, just stupid I guess. I am the compulsive signal my intentions person. I canmot change lanes without the signal. OCD, I guess.


22 posted on 12/21/2011 12:53:31 AM PST by Explorer89 (And now, let the wild rumpus start!!)
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To: Impala64ssa

Why did the Mexican Army have only 500 men at the Alamo?

Answer: They only had two cars


23 posted on 12/21/2011 12:54:12 AM PST by nikos1121
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To: gunsequalfreedom

My pet peeve are the pack animals.

I can get on the road at 4 AM and there isn’t a soul on the review foe 2 miles or a soul on the horizon for 2 miles.

Ahhh... I settle in at like 80Mph

Ahhhh..

Suddenly, there are headlights in my rear view mirror 2 miles back, 1 mile back..
Jeeze this guy is moving like a bat out of hell!

He must be doing 95? 100?

Then he catches up with me and he want to stay beside me doing 80..

I speed up to 90.. he speeds up to 90..

Eff this!
I slow to 60.. He slows down to 60..

Here come some other headlights, lather rinse repeat!

Next thing I know I am in gridlock! Boxed in, surrounded! Everyone wants to hang out with me! LoL


24 posted on 12/21/2011 12:59:17 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Explorer89

I use them in the parking lot.


25 posted on 12/21/2011 1:00:02 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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there isn’t a soul on the rear view for 2 miles


26 posted on 12/21/2011 1:01:28 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Impala64ssa

And not to “toot my own horn”, but it would be interesting to see how the driving record of antique and classic car owners stack up against the rest of the driving public, even truckers, bus and limo drivers and other professionals. Even with a 4-wheel disc brake conversion and a set of gas shocks my 64 Chevy handles like an overweight cement truck compared to my Cobalt. It never ceases to amaze me that in spite of all the nanny state does for us to make sure the cars we drive are as safe and schmuckproof as possible, there are more accidents than ever.


27 posted on 12/21/2011 1:05:46 AM PST by Impala64ssa (You call me an islamophobe like it's a bad thing.)
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To: mylife

Try changing your aftershave. BeeGo would do the trick. A little dab ‘il do ‘ya.


28 posted on 12/21/2011 1:08:04 AM PST by 7MMmag (at times kitties kill things just for fun. can be cruel like that. but it keeps the pests in line..)
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To: Impala64ssa
I am guessing that the auto carnage from 1909 Hupmobiles is pretty slight ;)

I could be wrong ;)

29 posted on 12/21/2011 1:10:58 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: 7MMmag

LoL!


30 posted on 12/21/2011 1:11:43 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Impala64ssa

LOL. Couldn’t resist sending the link to my son with the two BMW’s.

:)


31 posted on 12/21/2011 1:14:46 AM PST by onyx (PLEASE SUPPORT FREE REPUBLIC:DONATE MONTHLY! Sarah's New Ping List - tell me if you want on it.)
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To: mylife

You too, huh? I put up with the same BS almost every day. Most of the time, traffic is fairly light on I-84, nothing like the Thruway, esp near the Tappan Zee Bridge. And yet, it’s like my car is emitting some magnetic feild, someone must ride along side me. If your gonna pass me then pass me dammit! I’m not looking for a race, those days are over!


32 posted on 12/21/2011 1:16:13 AM PST by Impala64ssa (You call me an islamophobe like it's a bad thing.)
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To: mylife

RINO’s running for office.


33 posted on 12/21/2011 1:17:42 AM PST by saganite (What happens to taglines? Is there a termination date?)
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To: saganite
RINO’s running for office
Hey, you owe me a Mic light and new keyboard pal!!! LMAO
34 posted on 12/21/2011 1:23:09 AM PST by Impala64ssa (You call me an islamophobe like it's a bad thing.)
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To: 7MMmag

Hmmm...why would I use Brylcreem as an aftershave?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brylcreem


35 posted on 12/21/2011 1:25:41 AM PST by bazbo (God would have you vote your conscience, men would have you vote for a "winner".)
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To: Impala64ssa

I am not a pack animal!

I want the wide road! LOL

Shoo.. Shoo..


36 posted on 12/21/2011 1:27:05 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Impala64ssa

I am lucky, I have a 5 mi commute and its pretty uneventful in this little town, but there is always some clown that wants to challenge me or cut me off on the road at 5 Am in this sleepy town.

The city is plain crazy.


37 posted on 12/21/2011 1:32:02 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Jonty30

Most BMW drivers are not wealthy. In fact, the majority lease their vehicles. It is part of a high consumption lifestyle rather than a sign of affluence. And those who try to keep up with the Joneses tend to have poor manners because of their insecurities.


38 posted on 12/21/2011 1:34:25 AM PST by peyton randolph (B. Hussein Obama solved Bush's "problem" of a AAA credit rating)
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To: Impala64ssa

You know what I do for relief?

There’s some dirt roads near work, and I drive down there to have a ciggie.

Ahh...


39 posted on 12/21/2011 1:35:33 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Explorer89

I’m compulsive too with the signals. Of course it IS needed for changing lanes. But I have caught myself on dirt roads in the woods!

My first ever warning ticket was a few weeks after I got my license. Got pulled over for not signaling as I was getting onto the freeway from a ramp. (Where else was I supposed to go!!??)

The cop probably just used it as an excuse to check out the young punk, but he was friendly enough, and said “It is the law, and hey - whatever you can do to alert some idiot asleep at the wheel coming up on you - the better.”

I also use the turn signal at some spots on the “Must Exit Lanes” as lots of folks will use it to get past rush-hour traffic. I put it on at the last moment so folks know I’m not going to be veering into their lane, and that I really am exiting.


40 posted on 12/21/2011 1:50:10 AM PST by 21twelve
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To: gunsequalfreedom
How about the people that drive the speed limit in the FAST lane and make everyone else go around them on the right.

They don't move to the right because people are passing them over there, using no signal, and after tailgating. Passing on the right is one of the worst behaviors I see on the road, especially when there's a free lane on the left.

41 posted on 12/21/2011 1:51:27 AM PST by Moonman62 (The US has become a government with a country, rather than a country with a government.)
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To: 21twelve

OK, you make me feel better. I do all of those EXACT things, including the dirt roads and I am signalling to the cows and pigs.


42 posted on 12/21/2011 2:05:12 AM PST by Explorer89 (And now, let the wild rumpus start!!)
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To: Impala64ssa

Not the only ones. So are big fancy car drivers; especially big fancy black cars. I think they think they own the road for some reason.


43 posted on 12/21/2011 2:11:23 AM PST by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote; then find me a real conservative to vote for)
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To: Explorer89

A couple months ago we had a gaggle of prairie chickens cross the road at a crossing light in a 50 mph zone.

It was the damnedest thing.

We all stopped for the light and here they all come on parade strutting across the road as if they understood it all.

The light turned green while they were still making the crossing, and EVERYONE sat and waited for them to cross that road.


44 posted on 12/21/2011 2:12:36 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: mylife

Why do people move to the left lane and slow down when they get a cell phone call?
Why is the passenger never on the cell phone when two in a car?


45 posted on 12/21/2011 2:22:34 AM PST by Portcall24
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To: Portcall24

Questions that will perturb humanity for the ages....

LoL!


46 posted on 12/21/2011 2:26:48 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Portcall24

Why do we drive on the right side of the lane, but when we walk in public the masses go the other way around, against the flow?

Its confusing.

Why are they walking toward us in the left lane?


47 posted on 12/21/2011 2:32:25 AM PST by mylife (The Roar Of The Masses Could Be Farts)
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To: Impala64ssa

You know the difference between a porcupine and a BMW don’t you?

A BMW has the pricks on the inside!

(and thats a really old joke, LOL)


48 posted on 12/21/2011 2:37:00 AM PST by A.Hun (Common sense is no longer common.)
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To: mylife

Those jacked up trucks, for the most part, have fairly stiff springs. They’d bounce even worse than an ordinary passenger car. There are some, mostly imitation desert racers, that can take bumps like that without slowing, but those are few and far between.


49 posted on 12/21/2011 2:37:17 AM PST by Little Pig (Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.)
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To: mylife

Depends on where you drive, I guess. Like having a car capable of 150+ in city traffic...


50 posted on 12/21/2011 2:42:41 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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