Skip to comments.Secret document reveals why BMW drivers are asshats
Posted on 12/21/2011 12:23:43 AM PST by Impala64ssa
A leaked document has revealed that the asshattery of BMW drivers may be more than coincidence. Failing to use turn signals, cutting off other drivers, tailgating, flipping the bird and other affronts to road civility have become indelibly associated with the Bavarian Marque. Why? According to the document, it's all part of a totally illegal customer loyalty scheme.
This template document, issued to all BMW dealers (click the image below to expand), comes to us from an anonymous informant known only as "The Whistleblower." It clearly outlines a list of driving behaviors, recorded on the black boxes that have been standard on all new BMWs for several years now and translated into points.
Accumulated points can then be traded for the kind of fabulous prizes middle management Bimmer drivers most covet, such as anger management classes and male botox injections.
(Excerpt) Read more at jalopnik.com ...
Yeesh, and people are skeered of guns.
Our roads are full of 5K lb missiles guided by idiots sitting on 25 gallons of petrol..
I don’t know, just stupid I guess. I am the compulsive signal my intentions person. I canmot change lanes without the signal. OCD, I guess.
Why did the Mexican Army have only 500 men at the Alamo?
Answer: They only had two cars
My pet peeve are the pack animals.
I can get on the road at 4 AM and there isn’t a soul on the review foe 2 miles or a soul on the horizon for 2 miles.
Ahhh... I settle in at like 80Mph
Suddenly, there are headlights in my rear view mirror 2 miles back, 1 mile back..
Jeeze this guy is moving like a bat out of hell!
He must be doing 95? 100?
Then he catches up with me and he want to stay beside me doing 80..
I speed up to 90.. he speeds up to 90..
I slow to 60.. He slows down to 60..
Here come some other headlights, lather rinse repeat!
Next thing I know I am in gridlock! Boxed in, surrounded! Everyone wants to hang out with me! LoL
I use them in the parking lot.
there isnt a soul on the rear view for 2 miles
And not to “toot my own horn”, but it would be interesting to see how the driving record of antique and classic car owners stack up against the rest of the driving public, even truckers, bus and limo drivers and other professionals. Even with a 4-wheel disc brake conversion and a set of gas shocks my 64 Chevy handles like an overweight cement truck compared to my Cobalt. It never ceases to amaze me that in spite of all the nanny state does for us to make sure the cars we drive are as safe and schmuckproof as possible, there are more accidents than ever.
Try changing your aftershave. BeeGo would do the trick. A little dab ‘il do ‘ya.
I could be wrong ;)
LOL. Couldn’t resist sending the link to my son with the two BMW’s.
You too, huh? I put up with the same BS almost every day. Most of the time, traffic is fairly light on I-84, nothing like the Thruway, esp near the Tappan Zee Bridge. And yet, it’s like my car is emitting some magnetic feild, someone must ride along side me. If your gonna pass me then pass me dammit! I’m not looking for a race, those days are over!
RINO’s running for office.
Hmmm...why would I use Brylcreem as an aftershave?
I am not a pack animal!
I want the wide road! LOL
I am lucky, I have a 5 mi commute and its pretty uneventful in this little town, but there is always some clown that wants to challenge me or cut me off on the road at 5 Am in this sleepy town.
The city is plain crazy.
Most BMW drivers are not wealthy. In fact, the majority lease their vehicles. It is part of a high consumption lifestyle rather than a sign of affluence. And those who try to keep up with the Joneses tend to have poor manners because of their insecurities.
You know what I do for relief?
There’s some dirt roads near work, and I drive down there to have a ciggie.
I’m compulsive too with the signals. Of course it IS needed for changing lanes. But I have caught myself on dirt roads in the woods!
My first ever warning ticket was a few weeks after I got my license. Got pulled over for not signaling as I was getting onto the freeway from a ramp. (Where else was I supposed to go!!??)
The cop probably just used it as an excuse to check out the young punk, but he was friendly enough, and said “It is the law, and hey - whatever you can do to alert some idiot asleep at the wheel coming up on you - the better.”
I also use the turn signal at some spots on the “Must Exit Lanes” as lots of folks will use it to get past rush-hour traffic. I put it on at the last moment so folks know I’m not going to be veering into their lane, and that I really am exiting.
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