Posted on 12/22/2011 6:25:58 AM PST by US Navy Vet
My wife works with many other Christian mothers who have well adjusted and highly successful children.
It’s been my experience that much of this superior stay-at-home mom stuff is perpetuated by certain religious perspectives.
Not the, “I honor him” comments, etc...
Parenting is so much more than constantly being in close proximity to your children at all hours of the day.
Besides, what do these women do when school starts?
A lot has been made on this thread about women needing to go back to work to pay taxes. I disagree with that premise. Mrs WBill and I ran the numbers some time ago, when she had an opportunity to do some consulting work.
She would have gotten taxed at my marginal rate (at the time, it was around 40%). Factoring in costs of a car, clothes, child care, etc etc etc....she'd have wound up only making a few cents on the dollar. She said "Forget it", and that was that.
So, realistically, I think that if more working moms actually *thought* about it - what they're actually paying in taxes BECAUSE they're working, etc etc etc - I'd bet that they'd drop out of the workforce. I'd also bet that a lot of them - especially in 2-earner households - are ultimately paying for the opportunity to work. A good bunch of the "working moms" where I work, are most certainly in that boat.
It was, thank you. In more ways than you can possibly fathom.
My babies are officialy adults next month,(and quite extraordinary young adults might I add - their friends have expressed admiration and astonishment at the relationship we have with our kids) and I have resumed professional life.
It's a job, and it "helps people", but my true passion, however, is to develop a program to enlighten busy parents as to how to make the most of the time they do have with their kids. Many well-adjusted children still have a deep and unfilled need for the right kind of attention, and it is in the day to day mundane activities that those needs can be met. We have seen it in the work we've done with children through our church and school and in interactions with our daughters' friends and extended family.
Unfortunately, it's the "hyper-educated" as I refer to them, that are often the most resistant to this message, regardless of how much their kids need it.
A lot of us stay at home for religious reasons types homeschool. That’s what I’m doing. So to me it’s imperative that I find jobs or hobbies to keep me occupied at home for years to come.
Superior? Nope, just different priorities. Though I grew up in a family with a stay at home mom and the hostility we received from other women was insane. So much venom and hatred and “how stupid are you?” comments directed at my mother. Yes, she didn’t complete college and have a degree, but she homeschooled two computer engineers, a Ph.D candidate, a videojournalist - and that’s the ones who are almost done, the younger ones have years yet to go. So she wasn’t exactly unfit for intellectual pursuits!
“Pity their ignorance”
I agree. For the women that I know that chose to work (meaning they could have stayed home full or part time financially but chose NOT to).... I always figured they had a “mantra” to convince themselves that they were doing the right thing. For example, “I’m just not that maternal”, “my talents are more than wiping noses or butts”, “my children will have more respect for me since I am in the working world”, or (my absolute favorite) “my children will understand since they will have the better things in life”. It is all a mantra that they say in their heads to affirm their decision. In order to make themselves truly believe the “mantra”, they have to ridicule or belittle the women who stay at home. By defining them as ignorant, lazy, stupid.... they become “better” women.
As horrible as this sounds, I have always felt that WOMEN keep women down. More women bully, belittle and humiliate other women than men do. Just my opinion.
Where did y’all grow up that your stay at home moms received so much grief?
Jeez, I grew up in the People’s Republic of Maryland with a stay at home mom, in a neighborhood full of stay at hom moms.
I was born in the late 50s. So by the time I was 10, feminism was in full swing ... and nearly every one of those stay at home moms considered themselves, you guessed it, feminists, because they made their own choices.
Suburbia, in the 90s. It all seemed like jealousy, actually, from women who really wanted to stay home. Compounded by the insolence of my parents having 7 kids. Apparently that was something awful.
My peers - young mommies in their late 20s and early 30s - seem to be staying home a lot more than their mothers did.
Same here. Our daughter was born in '85 and my wife quit in mid 86 to be a stay at home mom. Believe me, she was at the school doing volunteer work with the kids many days. We had to sacrifice a lot of things too, but paid the mortgage off a few years ago. She got her first new car a couple of years before the mortgage was paid in full.
Women should work, fight all our wars and work construction etc. Divorce laws should be changed to favor men. Heck cleaning the house once a week, slapping the dopey kids and shopping is a pretty good gig. I just hope these women who slave all week don't expect sex more than 1 once a week, birthday, valentines day and christmas.
ONLY if you can do ALL OF THIS:
http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Pro&c=31&v=1&t=KJV
At that time we had to wear very Dress clothes, hose, nice heels, very costly, then add auto, gas, parking fees, baby sitter. Things have changed a little in those areas, with all the sloppy dress codes these days.
No offense to the REAL MEN on this thread, but there are so few of you anymore. Stay at home dad's, (if there is a dad in the home at all). I am not speaking of those who have recently lost a job and really want to work, hard times hits all of us at one time or another, hang in there and pray.
I am talking about those cowardly men who are just plain LAZY, and force their women to work. Then again I blame the stupid women who marry or shack up with such ilk.
Women staying at home instead of working was a limited trend for a relatively short period of U.S. history, made possible by the post-WWII economy.
I read an article recently that noted stay-at-home moms were more likely to criticize working mothers than the reverse. I believe they feel inferior and are just afraid to say it.
:-) I'm in a golf shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Of course, my company keeps me locked away in the basement with the rest of the other engineers, and doesn't let me out very often. LOL! If I was in front of customers everyday, it would be a different story.
I'd love to be a stay at home Dad. It's just much easier to get by on the salary that I command, rather than on what my wife would command.
In fact, there's a guy I work with whose wife is a doc. He recently made a comment that "she made far, far more than he did". I asked him "So what the @#$#$@ are you doing here? I'd quit in a NY minute, if I could." No answer. I suppose that work is one measure of success, and there's lots of pressure to "be successful".
I'm glad that my wife measures success by how great our kids are, and not by where she sits on a corporate ladder.
I read the poem or essay and it was sweetly written...
..so I don't understand why you continue to remain on this thread just to insult and belittle stay at home moms?
You've managed to insinuate that home moms are not educated.....lazy....too religious....and wimpy because they care what their husbands want.
Why can't you be happy....(as in the 'poem' on your home page) with what you have?
Why do you have the need to put us down?
Most, if not all here, haven't said ONE WORD of insult about your wife or her choice.
I am just from another far away generation, "a once upon a time era". My kids called our house the "Brady Bunch", "Ozzie and Harriet". Sad to see it go.
While I was no subordinate, as anyone I know can tell you, plenty sassy, but I did enjoy keeping house and the kids. Only thing I hated was the ironing those damned starched WHITE SHIRTS, that is when I turned into a GRITCH..
I’m defending the working mother who has been outwardly and tacitly attacked here.
Ironing should be made a felony. ;-)
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