Skip to comments.Why French Parents Are Superior
Posted on 02/04/2012 9:13:39 AM PST by jimbo123
While Americans fret over modern parenthood, the French are raising happy, well-behaved children without all the anxiety. Pamela Druckerman on the Gallic secrets for avoiding tantrums, teaching patience and saying 'non' with authority.
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
Liberal amounts of absinthe for le kids ?
Must be just coincidence.
How can I resist?
Raising little surrender monkeys?
“The French copy no one, and no one copies the French.”
This woman is an idiot and I feel sorry for her children. From the earliest age my children were restaraunt ready. They knew what table manners, inside voives, and Mommy isn’t happy meant.
The fact that this dolt things the French are special....my only comment is go to the southern or western portion (not California which is an entirely different planet) and you will see plenty of well behaved children
Yes but they only make their children bathe once a year, leap year.
I would not go so far as to say that they are superior parents but here in America there is a lot of “the world revolves around me” children that behave badly .......My three sons are now adults and they are great men but I have to admit when they were young......oi vey my eldest in particular was a bad, and no one to blame but us
1. Divorce rates. Children raised by single parents have far greater issues.
2. Over fixation on materialism and dual income parents that neglect the kids.
3. Convenience oriented society that is quick to medicate kids.
4. A society that has lost all concept of personal culpability and responsibility.
5. Over stimulation through MP3 players, PlayStation, the PC, cell phones and TV etc that cause a breakdown in social interactions and even communication skills.
6. A poor public education system that has become a day care center, is amoral/secular, doesn't teach to think nor conveys the basics in science, the humanities etc.
But I'm sure Pfizer will soon have some weird colored pill that will fix everything. lol
I think there’s some truth to this. Perhaps not a “French” thing but I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Sweden, France and Germany and the parents treat their children, even small children, more like little adults. They expect more from them, they don’t indulge them and they talk to them like adults. Their methods aren’t perfect but quite frankly, they are better in my opinion than the “you are special; what do you want” attitudes that American parents have toward their kids. We are raising little terrors who demand and scream for what they want and usually get it from their indulgent parents.
The most terrifying words U.S. parents hear from their kids are “I’m bored”. Once these words are spoken, the average parent is obligated to jump through hoops for their child.
I have very little regard to the French on just about any subject so I agree with you there. But I take offense at your comments about California parents. That is painting w/ a pretty big brush. There are parents from California that do a great job and parents that don't. But that can apply to any state.
In my many, many years of being a parent (now a grandparent), I have worked at schools, w/ home-schoolers, church youth, Boy Scouts troops, and exchange students (host mom x3), so I can can verify that there are a lot of great parents here in California.
There are some good points in the article, and in general American children are screaming brats (I don’t blame the children), but why does France still have to import Muslim fanatics to populate their country if their child rearing is so superior?
Well, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
I have seen this progress since the 80s really...maybe even late 70s in progressive environs and urban areas.
It goes without saying the biggest issue is non parenting...no daddy or no mommy especially in black and latino communities and getting worse in lower class whites too who are blending anyhow with the former at breakneck speed with serial illegitimacy between chubby white women and multiple black not in the kid's life sires who are mimicking how they grew up themselves
But the real perplexity to me is how middle and upper class married white couples under 45 raise or raised their kids.
Very very coddling and indulgent...astounding...and often the father is meek and subservient to the mother's henpecking and dominance over child raising in which they follow all the PC mindset...no guns..not even toys, no war,no fighting or rough play, no big dogs, not much outdoor stuff but soccer where mom won't stay off the field...Prius drivers...maybe a Honda CVR if they are more liberated
and so on....papoose daddy...
the first inkling I ever saw this was in 1983 at a young Jewish doctor couple in Albany NY when I was visiting...my girlfriend had gone to Cornell with them...and even both of us were just amazed at the way the mom ran things and they moved at every whim of the kid...to me it was a recipe for a neurotic adult one day...no to say all Jews do this but dominant moms and progressive thinking is not unknown to that culture
that was sorta the progressive footprint for white household parenting which has sure taken hold
now here we are...urban Nashville in the white communities is all just like that now...a copy
only out in the country and in some suburban areas do you see the old ways much
one set of kids unraised
and the others smothered and raised as whiney brats with no spine
what a mess
We solved that one quickly.....when those words were uttered by our children we'd say "Boredom equals choredom" and set them to work.
I agree with your post, but then there are people like Tim Tebow was always told that he was special, but that his special talents came from God and that God had a plan for him.
There is a whole lot of truth to this.
Europeans in general do raise their children differently.
They are firm along with being kind and loving. Tone of voice does make a difference. Ask any dog whisperer.
Learning patience is key as well as constancy and uniformity.
A child has to learn how to entertain himself and understand that parents are not constant playthings.
Montessori understood this well.
Wife and I also raised our son without trying to win favor.
Too many parents try to be their child’s best friend. It doesn’t work.
I bet also that European children have less incidence of ADD, hyperactivity, learning disabilities, etc., which are a result of constant catering to kids.
I was amazed at the kids that could speak more than one language over there.
One more thing. I think American parents try to ‘reason’ with their young kids too much. Young children aren’t capable of reasoning.
Heard these exact words from my nine-year-old daughter last weekend. My response was to tell her that there was no one was responsible for her boredom other than herself. She soon found something to amuse herself.
That’s code for Arab Muslims.
I agree with that. Children need to know that they are valued and loved by the Lord and their parents. But that is different from indulgence. Being told you are special can mean greater things are expected from you. That God has a plan for you even if your life seems to be going nowhere. That even if you live and die an average person, the Lord loves you just as much as Tim Tebow. I'm talking about the parents I know who, as the woman in the article says, think they were put on this earth to be their kids' servants. That is wrong and ultimately hurts the kid. The kid does not learn self sufficiency.
Can I get an amen??!!
It infuriates me to hear a parent going through the ‘what do you want to eat?’ routine. And then for them to allow the brat to say no to everything and think that it is somehow ok??!!
When I was young, we had grilled cheese sandwiches and tap water. Or kool-aid. On Friday nights, we were ecstatic to have frozen fish sticks cooked on the same cookie sheet as frozen french fries. When we had sleepovers, it was one 2 liter soda, Jiffy pop and a frozen pizza. We thought we were rich!!!!
No one asked what we wanted. We ate what was put in front of us and were grateful.
LOL. My mother and father used to say the same type of thing to us kids. "Well, there's a vaccum cleaner in there that needs some use." or "The car needs washing."
But now it has backfired on my mother. She is retired and every once in a while she tells me she is bored. I get a big grin on my face and tell her, "Well, I'm sure you have a vaccum cleaner that needs some use . . . "
I was in France during Lance Armstrong’s final Tour De France and the frogs’ in Paris were pricks. But it wasn’t only to Americans, they hated everyone, especially Brits and Germans. When the Tour went to the mountains and countryside, the locals were the nicest people you could meet. They gave away free wine at each town and which resulted in visitors like myself mostly going to the barricades drunk.
Their only cultural immersion is what's on TV, usually MTV. Seen MTV lately?
They have no value or appreciation for knowledge or education. No basic instruction in manners. No respect for any authority.
They are really eternal 6 year olds and never mature beyond that.
They are less civilized than Islamic Arabs.
In CA you can see this in spades.
If you are in a nice part of town composed mostly of two-parent households (even if not the original parents), kids are generally well-behaved and respectful as they have learned that behavior from their parents.
Head to the other side of town and the exact opposite is true.
It's Lord of the Flies on a truly grand scale.
I’ve spent considerable time in Belgium. Almost everyone speaks Dutch, French, and English. And by its border with Germany, they speak German as well.
I’m fortunate to have a dual citizenship - American/German
If Obama gets re-elected, I got a way out.
Delayed gratification is something that quite a few adults need to learn also - they would have less debt.
When I was growing up we were not allowed to say, “I’m bored”, and I never let my kids say it. Drives me insane to see how many parents think it is their job to keep the kids entertained.
Make it stop!
Each cultural subsystem has its own idiosyncracies. We’ve been dealing with lack of parenting for many years, here.
In fact, I look to the example of the Jews for excellent parenting: education in academics, music; arts and the classics as well as respect for family, in relation to what I witness.
I’ve seen it in a lot of places, US included, but it’s sad that well behaved children are so notable by their rarity.
I recall joining a former girlfriend on a trip home to Mexico and being shocked at how well her nieces and nephews behaved. The children (of a wide age range) could dine at the family table with no problems and all play together fairly quietly. If they got too loud a calm reminder by grandfather was all it took.
Even my daughter is driven mad at the store by the little ill mannered creatures that pass for kids. Why in hell parents agonize and whine over their brats being in trouble, lazy, etc when they allowed a child to do as they please is more than I will ever understand.
I come from a ranch family-they were into healthy eating out of necessity-you ate what you grew/raised, period. Don’t want to eat fresh-picked spinach and grilled chicken that was running around yesterday? Okay, then go to bed hungry. Ethnic goodies (we are Hispanic) like tamales-only on weekends, lots of trouble to make, too much fat and there is no Taco Cabana. And no more than a couple hours of TV-out the door to play you go. Act out in a public place, and you got your ass smacked right then and there.
I married a ranch boy and we brought up our daughter the same way, even though we lived and worked in the city-she has thanked us many times.
I’m not a parent, but I always tell kids who say they’re bored, that we should probably check their IQ.
Amen to that-if we had said we were bored we would have found ourselves put to work pulling weeds in the garden (easiest) or riding in the back or the truck over the pasture in the hot sun, shoving hay bales off the tailgate to the cattle following you...
France did get around to outlawing incest in 2010
They are so advanced. lol
What utter nonsense! The author does not understand that overindulgence has become the norm for some parents...nothing good ever comes from indulging children. I have 4 and they are polite and respectful. Not because I let them tear up napkins and sugar packets at restaurants but because I taught them the meaning of the word no very early on. I blame liberal child psychologists who after years of study still don’t understand human nature.
“Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he won’t depart from it.”
Because they teach their children how to go "oui oui" without getting any on the toilet seat?
Now, that is probably a good idea-lack of natural curiosity in a child is not a normal thing-they should not be bored unless they are locked in a bare room in silence.
So true....All of them are great issues...
I didn’t read the article but I’ve lived and patented in francophone Europe. The French do not like raising the kids from the heart. From the start they put them in uncomfortable clothes and they looked down on me,a stay at home mom, as being un esclave a mon bebe. (slave to my baby). Their kids either had nannies or were in creches (daycare). I prefer a messy, real, strong willed American child to perfect obedience and total neurosis.
I cannot stand that pussyfooting crapola. Either you are a parent or not. There is absolutely no negotiating while in a store. There is no whining, complaining or eye rolling. If you don't like the way things are done, get your own house hold and run it as you please. Until then I am the CEO, the five star General, Empress of the Universe and you are the apprentice. End of discussion.
My mother has pictures of us from the late 1960s playing with pot lids. We couldn’t even afford toys!!! We lived in Florida and she would give us paint brushes and a bucket of water and tell us to go paint the building. We would stay outside for hours painting and LOVED it. During the school year, we attended a university nursery school and always had fresh milk straight from a local cow and ritz crackers every day for a snack. No juice boxes.
By today’s standards, we were poor. But we were happy. My sister and I are well adjusted adults with a strong sense of doing the right thing, worried about others and being charitable.
I have two brothers who were born almost 10 years later who are selfish and lazy. Come to think of it, they were always asked what they want to eat growing up, catered to and waited on hand and foot. Hmmm...
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