A lot of America’s social sexual problems are based in something that was long not even noticed. Many children today are brought up with almost no socialization with the opposite gender.
Thus there are a huge number of adults who have never done anything social with the opposite gender. They have never played with them, worked with them, had any friends other than in their own gender, and more and more, never even dated them until they were adults, when they were expected to “find someone and marry them.” Like, how?
Girls and women think they are broadcasting all sorts of sexual attraction cues, that initiate interaction with boys and men. But the vast majority of men have no idea, just the few, often of low character, who do. So girls and women think they have no choice but to associate with these men, as nobody else “pays them attention”.
And many girls and women are so deprived of attention, that they turn into “attention junkies”, confusing attention with affection, even if that attention is violent, uncaring, exploitative and mean.
If you ask adults, they *assume* that their children were socialized in school and in church. But this is not the case. In both situations, adults keep the children busy doing other things.
For children, and now even for adults, there are almost no opportunities for polite and extended interaction, chaperoned, with no demands that they have to do something.
What, in a bar, with drunks? Church again, with people they are only in the same room with for an hour, once a week?
If you isolate a dog from other dogs when it is growing up, it will still want to mate, but it will see other dogs as hostile and unfriendly. It won’t know how to interact with them. Why should humans be different?
While this sounds academic, the reality is that it is making life miserable for millions of people, and harming our society and our children in a multitude of ways.
We must devise some means for boy and girl children to interact, in a chaperoned situation, in which they are not permitted to self-segregate by gender, nor distracted by what adults demand they do.
So true.
Girls and women think they are broadcasting all sorts of sexual attraction cues, that initiate interaction with boys and men. But the vast majority of men have no idea, just the few, often of low character, who do. So girls and women think they have no choice but to associate with these men, as nobody else “pays them attention”.
Your whole post was very good, I keyed on this section though. In my experience while raising my sons is that many if not most children are horribly scarred by the divorces of their parents. And they are very leery if not close to being terrified of marriage. It’s not that they don’t want to be in a loving marriage and have a family, they are afraid of the consequences if it doesn’t ‘work out’ and they get a divorce from their spouse.
As one of them once told me, “Dad, from what I can see of my friend’s dad’s situation, divorce makes you a slave to your ex until the kids are grown up.”
All I could tell him is that if you decide to get married be very, VERY sure of what you are getting into.