Thread by Morgana.
March 14, 2012 (AmericanThinker.com) - My soul carries a new scar. The pain is fresh and keen, and I know that while time might see the pain fade, I will never fully recover from what Ive seen, and done. For I have failed, intentionally and knowingly, in the first duty of a parent: protecting the lives of two of my children.
My wife and I wanted children; alas, we needed IVF treatment to realize this dream. Several cycles and multiple embryo implantations later, we welcomed our blessing from G-d, who is the light of our lives.
Recently, we tried for another.
It never rains, but it pours, said the fertility doctorof the three embryos that were implanted, all three took. We were faced with the news of triplets. I was shocked, knowing the burden that would entail, but since G-d gave us three, I was prepared to do whatever I needed to do to help, manage, and provide.
My wife? Something snapped. She insisted that we do a selective reduction from three to one, or else she would have a full abortion. She was adamant. She would not carry three. She would not carry two.
I was presented with a Coventry-esque decision: save one, or save none. I chose the former, though I tried on several occasions to convince her to at least keep twins. I failed.
We were told, point-blank, by the doctor who would do the procedure that they would inject potassium chloride into the placenta to stop the hearts. We were told, point-blank, that it was painless. Even then, I knew I was being lied to, but given the choice presented, I agreed anyway. My mantra became Save one, or save none.
Before the procedure, my wifes eyes teared up; she asked the doctor over and over if they would feel pain, and was assured they would not. I asked again if my wife was sure about this because once done, it could not be undone. She said she was sure, but her tears and her looking away from the screen, deliberately, and her wanting me to not look either, told me the truth: she knew as well that this was wrong. I wanted to insist that she look, but I think that her mindalready fractured by the news of tripletswould have snapped permanently had she seen the images onscreen. And to save the one, and for the sake of the one we already had, I needed my wife sane.
My wife didnt look, but I had to. I had to know what would happen to my children. I had to know how they would die.
Each retreated, pushing away, as the needle entered the amniotic sac. They did not inject into the placenta, but directly into each childs torso. Each one crumpled as the needle pierced the body. I saw the heart stop in the first, and mine almost did, too. The others heart fought, but ten minutes later they looked again, and it too had ceased.
The doctors had the gall to call the potassium chloride, the chemical that stopped childrens hearts, medicine. I wanted to ask what they were trying curelife? But bitter words would not undo what had happened. I swallowed anything I might have said.
I know they felt pain. I know they felt panic. And I know this was murder. I take cold comfort in knowing that as far as we can tell, the survivor is still fine, and in knowing that this decision did not come from me; I would have taken the chance on triplets, even with all the work and effort it would have required. I pray that this one child will come to term, will be born into this world alive and healthy, and I know he or she will have all our love.
But that emotional scar will ache my whole life. I see my childs smile every night and anticipate a new one in some months but I think of the two smiles I will never see. Every day, returning from work, I hear Hi Daddy! and know there are two voices and two giggles that I will never hear. I play with and cuddle my child, looking forward to the same with the second but I know there are two sets of hands that will never touch mine, two sets of toes that will never be counted, two hugs that will forever be absent from my arms.
I pray to G-d every day to take those two innocents to Him, to welcome them, and I ask them every day for forgiveness. As I will every day for the rest of my life. I dont know what accommodation my wife will make mentally and spiritually. That is her business, and a burden her conscience must bear.
But let nobody fool you. It is not painless for the child, and anyone who says otherwise is a liar. Abortion is not an excision of a featureless bunch of cells; it is infanticide. We have revived the practice of child sacrifice to the new deities of casual sex and convenience. We rationalize the reality of murder by altering our perspective of the nascent life through euphemisms like fetus or descriptions of a clump of cells...just like the Nazis convinced themselves that the people screaming as they were shot or gassed were Untermenchen, subhuman, and therefore guiltlessly exterminated.
This is how every perpetrator of genocide has always rationalized his or her actions. By doing likewise, we condemn our own souls
I wept in joy, a few years ago, when I saw my first childs heartbeat on the screen. And I weep in agony now at the memory of two of my childrens heartbeats being stilled. Save one, or save none has been eclipsed by Out, out, damned spot! as I wonder how I can redeem myself.
If, by baring this scar for others to see, I can prevent an abortion, perhaps that will help to balance the scales for when I face G-ds justice and I finally meet those two childrenwho I hope will forgive me for my failure.
Thread by me.
A pro-abortion activist writing at one of the leading pro-abortion web sites is admitting what many the pro-life movement has always known but what leading defenders of abortion refuse to admit. Until now.
Jessica DelBalzo, an activist writer from Flemington, New Jersey who has written for numerous progressive web sites, puts her extreme pro-abortion views on display at RH Reality Check, where she candidly admits in a headline, I Love Abortion: Implying Otherwise Accomplishes Nothing for Womens Rights.
I love abortion. I dont accept it. I dont view it as a necessary evil. I embrace it. I donate to abortion funds. I write about how important it is to make sure that every woman has access to safe, legal abortion services. I have bumper stickers and buttons and t-shirts proclaiming my support for reproductive freedom. I love abortion, DelBalzo declares.
The pro-abortion activist categorically opposes even the safe, legal and rare mantra that pro-abortion politicians like Bill Clinton have used to appear to be more moderate or mainstream on abortion and that even former NARAL president Kate Michelman used to make her organizations position appear less polemic.
As Delbalzo writes, And I bristle every time a fellow activist uses a trendy catch-phrase or rallying cry meant to placate pro-lifers. The first of these, Make abortion safe, legal, and rare! has been used for decades as a call for abortion rights.
Safe and legal are concepts I fully support, but rare is something I cannot abide. I understand the theoretical mindset: it is better for a woman to prevent an unwanted pregnancy than to bear the physical and financial burden of an abortion. While my own abortion involved very little pain and a minimal financial expense, one which my ex-boyfriend was willing to share with me, even I can admit that using condoms or the pill is preferable to eight weeks of nausea and weight gain, she writes. However, there is no need to suggest that abortion be rare. To say so implies a value judgement, promoting the idea that abortion is somehow distasteful or immoral and should be avoided. Even with affordable, accessible birth control, there will be user errors, condoms that break, moments of spontaneity. The best contraceptive access in the world wont change the fact that we are merely human and imperfect in our routines.
She also admits: Similarly, Ive heard reproductive rights activists claim that no one likes abortion, in an attempt to find common ground with anti-choicers. While it may be true that no one likes the physical act of having an abortion (any more than she may like her yearly mammogram, life-saving chemotherapy, or temporarily uncomfortable dental surgery), a great many women like abortion itself.
With CNN and Gallup polls showing a majority of Americans want all or most abortions made illegal, this puts the pro-abortion activist in a tiny minority of Americans who want abortion legal throughout pregnancy for any reason without apology.