Skip to comments.The New Scar on My Soul
Posted on 03/04/2012 7:08:45 AM PST by Popman
My wife didn't look, but I had to. I had to know what would happen to my children. I had to know how they would die. "It never rains, but it pours," said the fertility doctor -- of the three embryos that were implanted, all three took. We were faced with the news of triplets. I was shocked, knowing the burden that would entail, but since G-d gave us three, I was prepared to do whatever I needed to do to help, manage, and provide.
Each retreated, pushing away, as the needle entered the amniotic sac. They did not inject into the placenta, but directly into each child's torso. Each one crumpled as the needle pierced the body. I saw the heart stop in the first, and mine almost did, too. The other's heart fought, but ten minutes later they looked again, and it too had ceased.
(Excerpt) Read more at americanthinker.com ...
I can only imagine what his wife will think....
My heart grieves for this man, this family situation and the two innocent babes that were unjustly condemned and died at the hands of someone who swore an oath to save lives.
When you set out to play God, with IVF, why would you feel constrained in “culling” the unwanted results?
What kind of a nation allows this to be done to its offspring?
Personally, I think he has NO IDEA the burden and the toll it will take on his marriage...
Every time he looks at his wife with love in his eyes, makes love to her, shares a tender moment, hugs his kid...
In the back of his heart will be the thought....she killed my children and I was a coward to stop her...
He will need God more than ever to survive the pain...
Welcome to the future of selective reproduction.
If anyone remembers one thing, you will be judged as an individual when your time comes, not an agenda, a collective, a group thought or a crowd conviction, you and you alone will answer for your life experience. So all those who try to convince you that a collective removes you from resposibilities, yes it does, hear on earth but not in the hereafter.
Very sad, I don’t see a bright future here.
Courage is not simply one of the virtues,
but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
C. S. Lewis
I am sorry to say this, but it won’t be a surprise if this couple ends up divorced.
Furthermore, this is an exemplar of what Cardinal Dolan and Rick Santorum are railing against. (Don’t get me started on what I think of Chris Wallace this AM on Fox News Sunday and the ignorant way he badgered Santorum.)
How long before it is the government and Obamacares-not that demands that woman carrying more than one fetus undergo selective abortion? (And the Catholic hospital has to pay for it.) There were people demanding that of the Octomom, not too long ago. How soon will Obamacares-not demand the the Catholic employer pay for sex change surgery for transgenders?
This essay is heartbreaking.
Oh well what about the one who took an oath before God and the congregation to be there come what may? She is a murderer. He is married to a murderer.
Only 2 are mention killed in the womb but how many were kill in the test tube or how many die that failed to implant. Life begins at conception and that is when the soul is created. This is the the ultimate is selfishness thinking of yourself and not the souls of the children
This woman has no idea of the damage she has done, not only to those two lost souls, but to her husband, her family, and to herself. She killed two of her children and she will live with that everytime she looks in the surviving childs face.
My heart aches for this man. He was willing to do what it takes to have all three. God bless him. She chose to be selfish. Her millstone is firmly in place.
Having lived long enough to see a generation of women growing up...the damage done to women in the name of liberalism has done horrific damage to them
So many young women are simply whacked out and never be rightoues homemakers and mothers
Sadly, today many young women have children to make welfare easier to attain. They have no concept of what it takes to be an loving mom. I see it everyday. Liberalism is a disease that many do not want medication to cure. They find it easier to follow celebrities and their immorality than being morally decent educated young women.
I totally agree with you.
I don't see how they can stay together. He will blame her more and more for this.
Sad. My brothers' friends have quadruplets. They are the most awesome kids and family that I have ever witnessed.
As a mother of multiples myself, I will admit I was DEVASTATED when I was told I was carrying twins. Sounds strange, especially when I had struggled so to carry our first to full term and then to conceive again.
It was not those two babies, but my own fear of being somehow inadequately able to birth, love and care for two babies at the same time that was the source of my angst. (That and the rush of hormones which always makes me a little crazy :)
But the idea of making one of them sacrifice her life to assuage my feelings of inadequacy?? Unthinkable.
And once again, I was humbled by God for thinking that somehow I understood what was best for me better than He did. Those wonderful, amazing babies taught me more things about myself, about what is important in life, and how to better interact with others than I could possibly have imagined.
I'm sitting here weeping for this man, for his loss and for the loss to the world.
To lose ones child is the most excruciatingly heartbreaking things a parent must endure. To live with the knowledge that you caused their death must be unbearable.
Sad. One of the two that were condemned could have been the next Steve Jobs, Ronald Reagan or Andrew Breitbart. Or would otherwise have made positive contribution to our society. Now we will never know.
Heartbreaking, as you say.
Why do doctors implant more embryos than the woman is willing to carry? Yes, I know - to increase the chance of pregnancy. But a triplet pregnancy is a very dangerous pregnancy and it ought to be illegal to implant three. It’s wrong to implant two if the woman will only accept one. Not to discuss this in advance between husband, wife, and doctor is foolishness, and begging for grief.
May the husband and wife find forgiveness, repentance, healing and peace.
Many naturally conceived embryos, around half of them, fail to implant, or miscarry so early that pregnancy goes unrecognized.
It is not on those grounds that IVF can be condemned.
There are so many things to say about this. But I will add this: What that Hell? This woman has to have EXACTLY what she wants. She is basically infertile, but goes to EXTRAORDINARY lengths to have a baby. But then she only wants one. Not zero, like nature would have it. And not more than 1 that is often the result of what happens in her situation.
This woman is a representation of our society. I really want what I want. And I demand to get exactly what I want.
Hell of a burden for him to take on, when he ultimately had no say in the matter.
I had multiples. It was one hell of a pregnancy. ( That can’t be understated..) I’d do it again even if it meant I’d lose my own life.
Its tough to having multiples. Not just carrying them in your womb but afterwards. Add to it all the hormonal ups and downs you go through after the birth. The first four months I didn’t get hardly any sleep. I have not had a vacation in three years. My job is 24/7. When I get sick, its tough crap, I still have kids to feed, clothes to fold, etc. Then when you feel like your absolute worst, the kids will either have crying fits or bad colds. If you don’t have a supporting husband, the job can be a nightmare. Even with a good husband who helps out, a woman can feel overwhelmed.
Some woman just can’t handle that. I’m not advocating abortion or justifying her’s, I’m just pointing out what might have made that woman panic and abort her kids.
You pretty much summed it up. He wanted to increase and multiply but his wife was too gutless and self involved to do this. So now she will regret and suffer for decades and him too. This is very very bad stuff and this is why he posted as anonymous.
My summation— his wife is a mad beast. She was conflicted about the decision but her inner beast (call it dark forces) won out
Heartwood, all naturally conceived human beings die. One hundred percent. We are born dying, every one of us. Viewed from the perspective of a medium-aged, medium-sized star, each of our lives is but a flicker of light, and then we're gone.
Richly accomplished adults in their prime, sturdy and tenacious men and women of power and attainment, are no more permanent, in the scheme of things, than a generation of mayflies.
But the fact that everyone dies does not mean that anyone is expendable.
Only God gives our ephemeral lives lasting value. Surely you realize that.
(with all due respect) Yours is cakewalk you took the easy way out. Despite all the hard work and craziness, your course is far better than a lifetime of conscious and unconscious guilt and regrets. And that’s just the impact on the mother. How do this woman’s aborted fetuses feel??
Panic and abort ?....adoption is a viable option
And how soon will it be that all Ob-Gyn doctors are compelled to do abortions as part of a woman’s right to health care and if they refuse,they lose their licenses?
That's the problem, these women don't think. They are very self absorbed. They don't think about the child, the father or the children that are alive and have to deal with the fact that their sibling was killed.
That's what I was trying to point out, they can't see the bigger picture above their own self situation.
And some of this has to do with the our society with its," all about me" attitude or "taking the easy way out when you get stressed." This story is such a heartache.
If it is true, as it seems to be, that twins have an uncanny connection, it seems that the surviving triplet has suffered a loss of part of his or her selfhood as well. What will they tell the child? Will it be a dark secret or if the child is told the truth won’t he or she have a sort of survivor’s guilt, sense of loss and rage? What was the experience in the womb for this little being that will carry over into its life? It is possible the child will grow to hate the parents eventually.All of these considerations and decisions should have been made before the situation arose.
It is unfortunately true that some take this high mortality rate as yet another reason to declare embryos disposable.
I just do not understand how anyone can do this?I wonder if they stressed to them how often with reduction that the whole pregnancy is lost?
I actually see a divorce in their future. Few men can live with knowing their partner killed their child and it will resurface later on in a very ugly way.
Thank you for that post. I had heard the quote before but
did not know who had said it.
In America today, what the father wants is meaningless.
so, explain what he should have done ? and how he could have prevented the abortions ?
and how, if the outcome was still the same, he still doesn't take on that burden ?
I see great sadness ahead for this man and his remaining family.
My comment still stands. I read the article. I don’t think you carefully read my comment. He agreed with implanting the embryo’s. He had to be informed that there would be a chance of multiple pregnancies. The decision shouldâve been made prior to the implantation as to what they do in this situation.( but they conveniently leave it out if the article). And a much simpler answer to your question as to what he shouldâve done: Marry a woman who is pro life. Don’t play dumb as to who you married and then cry later when you find out just how ugly she truly is. He’s just as guilty as her.
This man didn’t marry a normal woman/mother, he married a cold hearted monster. My heart breaks for the child that lived - this is a huge burden to bear psychologically to know that your siblings were murdered by their/your mother. How can one have peace knowing that one’s mother was willing to do away with your siblings and it could have easily been you? survivor’s guilt is real and painful.
This is an example of why the Catholic Church has frowned upon IFV - because of the potential for this type of painful scenario, not because the Church is a big evil patriarchal institution as the left tries to make it out to be.
This is appalling. St. Maria Goretti, ora pro nobis.
Thanks - I get what you’re saying.
“Anonymous” seems to write a lot of articles, usually of this type. This article is very suspicious. While I am certain it has happened, the person who lets it happen would never write the article. If something like this happened to me, I would divorce the wife and put this as the reason.
My wife? Something snapped. She insisted that we do a "selective reduction" from three to one, or else she would have a full abortion. She was adamant. She would not carry three. She would not carry two.
We live in a Matriarchy. A violent, baby-killing Matriarchy.
The woman willfully murdered the man’s children over his definitive objections...
...and you fault him.
An evil nation would allow this.
Certainly, an evil person would do this.
By what right do we point our fingers at mass murderers in Russia, China, Germany ... and call them the bad guys?
May God grant this fallen and corrupted nation the grace of repentance and conversion.