Posted on 03/06/2012 8:47:09 PM PST by Thunderballer
The detailed study found that wives or girlfriends were pleased when their partner showed emotion because they believed it demonstrated a healthy relationship.
The survey, carried out by Harvard Medical School, also found that when men realised their wife was angry, the women reported being happier, although the men were not.
It revealed women most likely enjoyed spotting when their partner was dissatisfied because it showed his strong “engagement” or “investment” in their time together.
Dr Shiri Cohen, the study’s lead author, said: “It could be that for women, seeing that their male partner is upset reflects some degree of the man's investment and emotional engagement in the relationship, even during difficult times.
“This is consistent with what is known about the dissatisfaction women often experience when their male partner becomes emotionally withdrawn and disengaged in response to conflict.”
The study, published by the American Psychological Association, recruited a diverse range of 156 heterosexual couples.
More than 100 of the younger, urban, couples were in a committed but not necessarily a married relationship. Other couples who varied in the way they resolved conflict and controlled emotions were also chosen, while the remaining participants were older, middle-class and married.
In total, 71 per cent of those questioned were white, 56 per cent were married, and the average length of their relationships was three-and-a-half years.
During the study, each participant was asked to describe an incident with their partner over the previous two months that had been frustrating, disappointing or upsetting.
The researchers recorded the participant making a brief statement summarising the incident and then brought the couple together to play each other's admission.
They were told to come to a better understanding of what had happened, with approximately 10 minutes to discuss the incident while they were filmed.
(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...
They must have studied democrat “liberal” women. Then this study makes perfect sense as they run on emotions and are obviously irrational or they wouldn’t be democrats. To be a democrat you also have to have a tendency to be self destructive.
It took research to determine this?
They almost certainly did. You know the kind of $$$ they waste on "cutting edge" research like "Does manure smell bad and if so, why?". Women being crazy seems like another obvious thing they'd need to look into.
They've discovered the half-life of relationshipium, an unstable isotope that decays and emits peopletrons.
I have tried to teach my children to recognize when someone is attempting to manipulate their feelings or opinions in an aggressive, provoking manner within a relationship. I explained that some people are raised in an environment where they can only relate through conflict. Also that once they recognize that tendency, they need to leave the relationship immediately. I have taught them the best indicators are the individuals relationship with family, how they treat random individuals and "the anger test" or what makes them angry and how the direct that anger.
Hope it serves them well, but my kids seem to be listening and as they grow older they have been asking questions on observed behavior. It's gratifying to know they remember what I've told them.
I had an ex-girlfriend who was always insisting I express my feelings. One time after she asked me to express my feelings, I told her I was feeling pretty hungry at the moment, and could she cook me something. We broke up shortly after that. Fate.
I call B.S. on this study, unless they only interviewed unstable women in unstable relationships.
I have always been uneasy and out of sorts when my other half is unhappy. My past conversations with my friends reflect the same when their husbands are unhappy.
Wow, who are you dating?
“most men are not hardwired to talk about their “feelings.” They are hardwired to FIX things.”
Understand that the core, regarding this discussion is to MAKE THE BAD FEELINGS STOP. We don’t want to wallow in your pain, we want to make your pain go away because we care! Faced with the choice of spending an hour sharing feelings of hurt/guilt/frustration/sorrow/whatever after which nothing has changed but “understanding”, vs 10 minutes of solving the d@mm problem which is harming a loved one and thus the bad feelings disappear because the problem is gone, he11 yeah we’re gonna want to FIX THINGS.
Men want to know what the problem is so they can address and remove the problem. A loving man will actively work to eliminate any threat to his family and their happiness.
The greatest source of frustration for a man is when the woman in his life expects him to intuitively "know" what the problem is without telling him.
The greatest source of frustration for a woman is when she bluntly tells a man the problem, and he ignores her.
She was that bad,huh?
I was wondering the same thing.
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