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Secret Service Agents: We Were Too Drunk To Have Sex
Breitbart ^ | 4/25/12 | Ben Shapiro

Posted on 04/25/2012 10:44:41 AM PDT by Nachum

Last night, President Obama appeared on Jimmy Fallon’s unwatchable late-night show – a show most notable for Fallon’s almost-incredible inability to keep a straight face while telling the world’s least funny jokes – to discuss the Secret Service prostitution scandal. “The Secret Service, these guys are incredible,” Obama said. “They protect me, they protect our girls. A couple of knuckleheads shouldn’t detract from what they do. What they were thinking, I don’t know. That’s why they’re not there anymore.” But the Secret Service agents in question don’t need Obama’s help in their defense.

(Excerpt) Read more at breitbart.com ...


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: agents; alcohol; drunk; secret; securitybreach; service; usss
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We're not as think as you drunk we were...
1 posted on 04/25/2012 10:44:51 AM PDT by Nachum
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To: Nachum

Imagine trying to use that as an excuse after your wife finds you with a hooker.


2 posted on 04/25/2012 10:48:11 AM PDT by muir_redwoods (I like Obamacare because Granny signed the will and I need the cash)
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To: Nachum

Too drunk for sex with minors, while on duty, to count.


3 posted on 04/25/2012 10:48:34 AM PDT by Diogenesis ("Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. " Pres. Ronald Reagan)
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To: Nachum

Too drunk to do your job. Wow that is an amazing defense.


4 posted on 04/25/2012 10:49:12 AM PDT by Drill Thrawl (The United States of America, a banana republic since 1913)
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To: Nachum

From the pre-school child excuse level of:

“I did not inhale”.


5 posted on 04/25/2012 10:50:47 AM PDT by EyeGuy (Non-Holder person.)
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To: Drill Thrawl

I am not defending them, and certainly they are always supposed to uphold the best standards...that said, they are the advance team and their work was done. They were not on duty per se.

But, I appreciate your point.

These guys are idiots. But, my guess is that this has been going on for a long time. They are lucky the girl only brought back a cop. In some seedier places, she would have brought back her boss. And then someone would have gotten shot. And THAT would have been a problem.


6 posted on 04/25/2012 10:53:33 AM PDT by Vermont Lt (I just don't like anything about the President. And I don't think he's a nice guy.)
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To: Nachum

Oh yeah, that is going to make it better...


7 posted on 04/25/2012 10:53:51 AM PDT by gov_bean_ counter (Sarah Palin: More miles per sound bite than the closest competitor...)
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To: Nachum

It’s pretty rich, Obama calling someone else a “knucklehead”.


8 posted on 04/25/2012 10:55:30 AM PDT by Scott from the Left Coast
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To: Nachum

It’s pretty rich, Obama calling someone else a “knucklehead”.


9 posted on 04/25/2012 10:55:46 AM PDT by Scott from the Left Coast
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To: Nachum
Too drunk?
 
With pleasure - I repost the picture of said hooker...
 
 
 
I don't care how drunk you are....


10 posted on 04/25/2012 10:55:46 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Nachum

All they really wanted was a big hug.


11 posted on 04/25/2012 10:55:56 AM PDT by Gator113 (***YOU GAVE it to Obama. I would have voted for NEWT.~Just livin' life, my way~)
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To: Responsibility2nd

Nice boat!


12 posted on 04/25/2012 10:57:28 AM PDT by Gator113 (***YOU GAVE it to Obama. I would have voted for NEWT.~Just livin' life, my way~)
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To: Nachum
Whiskey d*ick?
performance anxiety?

LOL

13 posted on 04/25/2012 10:57:30 AM PDT by ▀udda▀udd
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To: Nachum
Whiskey d*ck?
performance anxiety?

LOL

14 posted on 04/25/2012 10:57:45 AM PDT by ▀udda▀udd
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To: gov_bean_ counter

Myself, I am greatful that THIS president is in such great
care. I can only wish his aircraft mechanics and Doctors are as professional.


15 posted on 04/25/2012 10:57:46 AM PDT by VRWCarea51
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To: Nachum

geez doesn’t matter, they paid for her time, not just her services. Nonperformance is not the hookers fault.


16 posted on 04/25/2012 10:57:58 AM PDT by delapaz
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To: Nachum

I wonder how many conceptions there has been over mankinds history by men who thought they were too drunk?

The secret service needs new occifers that have the intellegence of at least a college student.


17 posted on 04/25/2012 10:58:04 AM PDT by biff (WAS)
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To: Nachum

If one of them was boning Chewbacca, that defense might fly.


18 posted on 04/25/2012 10:58:58 AM PDT by tumblindice (Our new, happy lives.)
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To: Drill Thrawl

Maybe they are drunks on the job and maybe they did hire the prositutes on the job, but in reality they are still virgins in the world of slutdom.


19 posted on 04/25/2012 10:59:33 AM PDT by SaraJohnson
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To: Gator113

lolol.

Yeah, sure.

I’m more interested in those very nice flotation devices.


20 posted on 04/25/2012 11:01:31 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Nachum

I have a friend who was on the advance team for JFK. He has told many stories like this. Sometimes he was so drunk he would end up in the wrong city.

My point: It has always been so, they just have never been caught.

Moral: Pay the babe full price plus a tip.


21 posted on 04/25/2012 11:03:54 AM PDT by Any Fate But Submission
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To: Responsibility2nd

Really !!

But he doesnt have a leg to stand on because he didnt pay her.

Im sure she could have given him what he paid for, regardless of how drunk he was...Thats her job, right?.......and to leave afterwards.


22 posted on 04/25/2012 11:04:27 AM PDT by Delta 21 (Oh Crap !! Did I say that out loud ??!??)
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To: Nachum
Obama said: They protect me, they protect our girls...they have affairs with Moochelle.....

Yeah...an SS agent would have to be PRETTY drunk to want to be with the Wookster.

23 posted on 04/25/2012 11:08:14 AM PDT by Miss Behave (All ways, always.)
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To: Nachum

Best excuse of 2012, so far. But the year’s young!

No....wait...he should have said he didn’t know that contraceptives were available so cheaply and he thought the government was paying for them anyway, or at least should, so he spent so much money on alcohol that he didn’t have enough left over for condoms. That would be a good meme combination.


24 posted on 04/25/2012 11:08:30 AM PDT by Attention Surplus Disorder (A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walk into a bar. Bartender says "what'll it be, Mitt?")
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To: Responsibility2nd

I bet there are planeloads of guys flying down to Caratagena. The Hotel Caribe and the girls down there should be writing thank you notes to the secret service. They are getting millions of dollars worth of advertising for free. “Come to Cartagena, safer than Mexico, beautiful beaches, cheaper than Las Vegas.”


25 posted on 04/25/2012 11:08:50 AM PDT by forgotten man (forgotten man)
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To: Gator113; Responsibility2nd
"Nice boat!"

Are you crazy, forget the boat!!! Didn't you see that wrist watch???
26 posted on 04/25/2012 11:09:05 AM PDT by Old Teufel Hunden
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To: Nachum

Oh well, that makes everything OK then....move along.


27 posted on 04/25/2012 11:10:08 AM PDT by prisoner6 (Right Wing Nuts bolt the Constitution togethegr as the loose screws of the Left fall out!)
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To: Nachum

Been there, done that...


28 posted on 04/25/2012 11:10:39 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: Nachum

Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas.


29 posted on 04/25/2012 11:12:15 AM PDT by Ken H (Austerity is the irresistible force. Entitlements are the immovable object.)
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To: Gator113

Boat? What boat? I didn’t see any boat!


30 posted on 04/25/2012 11:17:00 AM PDT by rex regnum insanit (falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus)
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To: Nachum
drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things...

nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance: therefore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to; in conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him the lie, leaves him.

Shakespeare/Macbeth

31 posted on 04/25/2012 11:18:04 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: Old Teufel Hunden; Gator113
OK you guys are starting to worry me.
lolol
 
 
Here are some tests for you.
 
 
 
 
 
 
More. Have fun!
 


32 posted on 04/25/2012 11:18:59 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Nachum

"You just wanna see what kinda milage you can get on a full tank..."

33 posted on 04/25/2012 11:20:51 AM PDT by moehoward
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To: Nachum
The Post story also quotes multiple unnamed agents who defended their colleagues, explaining that having sex with prostitutes should have no impact on their ability to do their job; some sources also harkened back to 2009, when Secret Service agents assigned to President Clinton partied it up with strippers. “Some guys could have a good time Wednesday night, and Friday morning they would be on their post, shaved and ready to go,” said one agent.

The agents or the strippers?
34 posted on 04/25/2012 11:23:07 AM PDT by aruanan
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To: Responsibility2nd

LOL... I only come here to read the articles, just the articles.

BUT, I find it refreshing to see that some clever guy has found a new and creative way to wax a car. He’s probably taking a nap in the shade by those trees.

Wax on, wax off.....


35 posted on 04/25/2012 11:29:02 AM PDT by Gator113 (***YOU GAVE it to Obama. I would have voted for NEWT.~Just livin' life, my way~)
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To: Nachum
Secret Service Agents: We Were Too Drunk To Have Sex

Didn't the 'Dead Kennedys' have a hit song about that?

Too drunk to... well... never mind.

36 posted on 04/25/2012 11:30:41 AM PDT by Zeppo ("Happy Pony is on - and I'm NOT missing Happy Pony")
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To: Old Teufel Hunden
Are you crazy, forget the boat!!! Didn't you see that wrist watch???

You know I totally missed the watch until you mentioned it:)

37 posted on 04/25/2012 11:31:00 AM PDT by calex59
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To: Responsibility2nd

I think I passed!!! : )


38 posted on 04/25/2012 11:32:42 AM PDT by Old Teufel Hunden
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To: Nachum

I have used that excuse. It does not work.


39 posted on 04/25/2012 11:33:21 AM PDT by ozzymandus
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To: Old Teufel Hunden

“”Nice boat!”

Are you crazy, forget the boat!!! Didn’t you see that wrist watch??? “

good catch....i was drawn to the designer shoes......


40 posted on 04/25/2012 11:35:44 AM PDT by red devil 40
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To: Any Fate But Submission

Several accounts have the SS on JFK’s detail partying hearty the night before Dallas.


41 posted on 04/25/2012 11:37:00 AM PDT by Churchillspirit (9/11/2001. NEVER FORGET.)
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To: Nachum

ViDoz. 50% Viagra, 50% No Doz.

Coming soon, from your friends at Pfizer.


42 posted on 04/25/2012 11:38:26 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Nachum

I believe the Dead Kennedys wrote a song about this.


43 posted on 04/25/2012 11:38:46 AM PDT by GSWarrior
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To: delapaz
Exactly right. You would think these idiots would know that if they take up the hooker's time they have to pay. Period.

Too drunk to sc**w is a stupid excuse for refusing to pay and getting into a heated argument, and making a big scene and getting kicked out of the Secret Service.

44 posted on 04/25/2012 11:38:49 AM PDT by Upstate NY Guy
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To: aruanan
back to 2009, when Secret Service agents assigned to President Clinton partied it up with strippers.

But that was XXX-42. The Secret Service had to go where the president went.

"Agent Smith, you know when you swore you would take a bullet for me. Well, that ugly stripper is coming over here to give me a lap dance. You need to take it for me so the two cuties following her will find my lap empty." (bite lip and give half thumbs up).

45 posted on 04/25/2012 11:41:37 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (You only have three billion heartbeats in a lifetime.How many does the government claim as its own?)
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To: Zeppo

I was just about to say...cue up Dead Kennedys’ “Too Drunk To F***.”


46 posted on 04/25/2012 11:41:44 AM PDT by lazypadawan
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To: Responsibility2nd

I’m wide awake now!


47 posted on 04/25/2012 11:41:46 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Buckeye McFrog
ViDoz. 50% Viagra, 50% No Doz.

Coming soon, from your friends at Pfizer.


48 posted on 04/25/2012 11:47:07 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (America does not need to be organized: it needs to be liberated.)
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To: Nachum

Too drunk to have sex?

So you are pussies and can’t hold yer liquor?

You needed to be bounced from the SS a long time ago then.

You are weak as a newborn baby’s grip.


49 posted on 04/25/2012 11:54:09 AM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: muir_redwoods
Imagine trying to use that as an excuse after your wife finds you with a male hooker.
50 posted on 04/25/2012 12:00:05 PM PDT by 17th Miss Regt
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