Skip to comments.Molests Your Poodle
Posted on 05/24/2012 6:49:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz
My Native-American name, from now on, is "Molests Your Poodle." You see, I have recently discovered that I am American Indian -- Cherokee, to be precise.
How did I come to know that I had this wonderful new heritage? Simple: I read Ben Quigly's article about Elizabeth Warren (who is running for the Senate in Massachusetts), in which he defends her claim to be of Cherokee heritage.
Ben produces no evidence that Ms. Warren actually does have Cherokee blood in her veins. In fact, he seems to concede she has none. However, he states that in some metaphysical way, that we are all Cherokee. So, since we are all included in that group, her claim to be Cherokee was in no way intended to be a ruse. It was never intended to gain her political favor and perks in acadamia and other venues, prior to her run for office. It was merely that she intuitively understood that every single person alive is an American Indian.... metaphysically, if not in fact.
Does this not perfectly capture the rationale of the common liberal? If the facts go against you, claim that your case is sound anyways and wave your arms wildly, conjuring images of 'spirits' or 'code words' or 'dog whistles' or 'institutional racism'.
When the facts show that George Zimmerman was viciously attacked by Trayvon Martin, ignore this evidence, press on with the case, and talk about 'institutional racism'.
When the facts show that Obama is a none-too-closeted America-despising Socialist, ignore the evidence and speak of 'dog whistle racism' and 'code words'.
And when your candidate for Senate in Massachusetts has been shown to be an outright liar about her heritage, so that she may receive perks and career enhancements reserved for people actually of that heritage, ignore the facts and preach that it "is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth."
Facts are unimportant to a true-believing liberal. Rationality the first discarded of the luggage they carry.
So, in honor of this absolutely bizarre twisting of reality to conform to a liberal need to adhere to a lie, I would like to honor Ben Quigley with his Native American name: "Lap Poodle of Liberals".
And I am to be known as "Molests Your Poodle".
Good point. And your piece (as always) is well-written.
96 Satisfied Customers!
Several months ago I made the decision to self-identify as a minority. It’s been so much fun, I may add a second minority.
so laz did you ever join the facebook political group Knuckle Dragging Conservative yet? it’s lonely in there!
"Your name means: Laughing One of the Mysterious Voice "
First of all the many online quizzes I've taken over the years that actually got it right.
A little input from the boy names Sioux.
A Cherokee boy asked his father.
“Father, how did I get my name”
The father replied “Cherokee men name their sons after the first thing we see when they are born”
“Why do you ask? Two Dogs %ucking”.
“... many online quizzes...”
That was fun. My name is Olathe Yepe... means Beautiful Snow Woman. I kinda like it!!
How cool was that.
Nothin’ but the best for my dog!
The web site said My name was: Your Native American Name Is: Wynono Howahkah
Your name means: Firstborn One of the Mysterious Voice
But I prefer "Runs with Beer"
Man, I never even had a chance to say that first.
Stop taking all the good lines.
I’ve polled the two standard poodles in my house and the response was unanimous:
“He tries to hit it and we take his face off.”
And then they resumed napping.
Unless you're Barack Obama, that is. Heh. I heard his Indian name is "Dances With Moonbats", or maybe that was Liz Warren.
You’re a hoot, Laz!! Thank you for making me laugh today!!