5 Questions: The porn effect on young men

Los Angeles Times / LATimes.com ^ | June 2, 2012 | By Jessica P. Ogilvie, Special to the Los Angeles Times

[thecodont]

In HBO's new show "Girls," creator Lena Dunham conjures up an image of young men so inundated with online porn that they almost unwittingly try to reenact it in their own boudoir escapades.

The show is fictional, but Stanford University psychologist Philip Zimbardo believes there's a lot of reality to it. In a new e-book, "The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Struggle and What We Can Do About It," written with Nikita Duncan, Zimbardo theorizes that all those hours spent in front of a screen — not just watching porn but playing video games too — is leaving men in the dust socially, unable to relate to women and unable to function in society.

We talked to Zimbardo and Duncan about their research, discoveries and ideas for solutions.

[SaraJohnson]

Feminazis (leftists) are not heterosexual feminists (conservatives). Yes, you can place the cultural cleansing of America at the feet of leftists.

[NYTexan]

LMAO!

Posted your quote of the day on the TX board...

[little jeremiah]

Trailhkr1, you are very young, and your thoughts are heavily influenced by the propaganda you’ve absorbed. You “believe” that feminism is a good thing in part, but you are 100% wrong. Equal pay is not something feminists acheived. They still bitch and moan about it, but the fact is that most of the time IF women make less money it’s because of taking time off for child bearing, or they can’t do the same jobs as men as well, and so on.

Feminism isn’t the entire problem, homosexualism, porn, the normalization of sex outside of marriage and so on are all combined. But feminism is a main root - and men who embrace the feminist philosophy. Why are men to blame? Because they like feminism because feminism is an enemy of traditional marriage, feminine roles, motherhood and personal responsibility. Feminism paved the way for men to act like dogs and have casual sex with women without marriage or responsibility.

Abortion is central to feminism. With E-Z abortion, men can impregnate women, say “it’s your problem, get an abortion” and walk off.

I posted this on another thread today:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2891012/posts?page=46#46

I place a lot of blame on feminism. The very foundation of feminism is evil. And it is no accident that the promoting of homosexuality started right around the same time as the whole shebang of feminism and the “sexual revolution”. Reducing humans to a set of genitals that rule and the rest of the body just follows their orders. I went to a few feminist “womens’ liberation” meetings run by UC Berkeley “wymmyn” in the late 60s, I was a teenager living on my own with a room mate in Berkeley. The room mate was a woman almost 30, a friend of a friend. I went to the meetings becase I was wild and crazy. There was free marijuana being passed around so I managed to sit through I think 3 meetings.

The feminists ranted on and on about Evil Patriarchy and by the last meeting I attended they started in on how much they hated all men, and lusted for other wymmyn. That was it for me, I knew even in my druggie condition that feminism was based on hatred and envy for men, perverted lust, and power madness. Then my room mate started making sexual advances which tied the lid on the creepy horribleness of feminism.

Feminism and homosexualism are joined at the hip, and hatred for all natural authority, which is ultimately God Himself as represented by Natural Law.

[Melas]

Agreed. Bitching about younger people is as old as...well...people. Plato is the earliest that I know of that was actually recorded for prosperity. My youngest son turns 20 here soon. He and his friends are decent caring people.

Sounds like you and your girlfriend will do just fine. One thing you will learn here is that FR is the worst possible place to ever get romantic advice.

[Agamemnon]

The other "myth" on FR is how bad the young generation is today...Most people my age are decent...really getting tired of hearing it TBH. Part of the problem with the internet..just hear about all the bad stuff and the good kids out there don't create any media sensationalism.

Agree with you to a certain extent. My one (and only) wife of 27 years and I have four children. Two older boys and two younger girls, aged 18, 20, 22, and 24. The 22 year- old married his GF of 4.5 years 2 weeks ago.

We reared kids in your generation. All were public schooled. The two boys were Eagle Scouts and finished their 4 years hitches as Corporal NCOs in the USMC. All are in college: oldest son in Chemistry/Biology, married son is a Business major, oldest daughter is studying History in the UK next year, youngest is in animal science.

There are plenty of young people your age just like them. Many have sacrificed for their country and will lead productive lives if given an opportunity to build an economy freer of government intervention than there is now under Obama.

That said, it appears you have an awful lot of that feel-sorry-for-yourself going on there, being as new to this site as you are.

Porn is such a poor substitute for imagination. It's like needing a video game as a kind of crutch to help you figure something out that with any skill and patience you ought to be able to figure out on your own.

Stated another way, it's like having sex using a teleprompter, or cue cards.

You're young. No one your age should require an artificially-induced endogenous serotonin overdose like that just to get your mojo going.

Maybe your GF says she's into it, but when she's got to compete for your attention with the T's and A's of an assortment of other video vixens, that's likely to get pretty old for her pretty quick. It says you need to look at that to be stimulated by her. Maybe she's not the jealous type now -- or at least she seems that way to you.

'Course, she's just a GF now anyway. She'll likely feel a lot more differently about your porn proclivities, if she's looking at you someday for anything more serious than you already are - assuming the two of you believe in traditional marriage.

If you rely on a crutch like that at this age, chances are that you're going to need it later in life just to get it up in the first place. You don't realize this now, but clinical dependencies are like that. Might want to cut back on that dependency now while you can.

The people that make and produce those flix think little enough of themselves to do that stuff in front of a camera anyway. They have little or no self-respect already in order to prostitute their privacy like that. Drugs, rape entrainment, criminal element, mafia, exploitation, suicide -- are all very big parts of that industry. Knowing this, one wonders why someone would patronize it.

Since none of that "element" has anything at all to do with this site, I am just curious: Exactly what is it that you find attracts you to FreeRepublic?

FReegards!

[Melas]

If you rely on a crutch like that at this age, chances are that you're going to need it later in life just to get it up in the first place. You don't realize this now, but clinical dependencies are like that. Might want to cut back on that dependency now while you can.

Maybe you ought not jump the gun and diagnose the kid with a dependency without a proper examination first? That's presuming of course that even in a clinical environment that you are qualified to make such a diagnosis.

Better yet, perhaps you should drop the whole condescending shtick altogether? He's young, so he might miss the church lady bits like "or at least she seems that way to you." as though you know better. Give the kid enough credit that he just might know his own damned girlfriend better than you do. I think the odds are heavily in his favor since you don't know her at all.

[SaraJohnson]

I know young people are not all one thing! The freaks highlighted in the media are just that. Most of the young people I know through my sons are great.

About the porn, you should study about that. Go to google and tap in “brain shrinkage porn” and see if you come up with a study. Not everyone into porn becomes addicted to it but those who do, really wreck themselves sexually and every other way. The constant search for excitment is like a drug and it wrecks a person’s character and sex life like drugs wrecks the addict. They become numb to normal sex and dive into dark places.

The myth liberals have sold about porn is that sex is a pleasure that is physical and divorced from love and care. That is like saying a joint is for snacking. If you set up your brain and heart to divorce the experience of love’s bonding from sex, you are missing the actual high of sex.

Sex is created to be an experience of emotional and soul union in preparation for the strength you need to make it through being a loving and trustworthy husband and father. That bonding aspect of sex is the way you can have sex with the same person for a whole year and still find pleasure in sex with them. If it is just physical, it is boring after a time. People break up all the time when they no longer find sex appealing and that is because sex is shallow in their pornish understanding and experience. They cheat looking for excitment. Which leads to divorce and you know all the mental, social and economic wreckage that comes with that. To have sex be what it was created to be, there are a lot of rules around it to protect it so you can have the soul level of experience that carries you through fatherhood and manhood. It is the difference between something sacred and something of a debased nature.

I’m glad you are here on free republic. I hope you know that we don’t look at young people as a herd of negative television images. I don’t. I hope you will understand what I have written here and that I have not hurt your feelings.

[Rides_A_Red_Horse]

I can’t believe the number of 30 to 40 year-olds I see buying video games (I have young children - I loved arcade games when I was younger, but don’t “get” modern games and their systems)

---

There are three different gaming systems in my home. My wife and I are both over forty and we enjoy playing action, fantasy and RPG video games together.

[kearnyirish2]

It is definitely a big part of their business, and playing them together beats sitting on bar-stools. The store always seems busy, while our bowling alleys, bars, and theaters not so much.

I can’t move my fingers fast enough, or use the button combinations quickly enough, to play them (my kids have asked me to play, and I’ve tried, but I stink at it). We were at a campground in the Poconos a few years ago, and they had an old “Time Pilot” machine. I’d had the record in that for years at a local arcade when I was 13 (they’d put your name above the machine with the score, and give you a free soda), and I decided to give it a go in my late thirties. It took over twenty minutes, but I got the high score on my first quarter - and my hands were numb afterwards.

All the power to you!

[GOPsterinMA]

“Trying to find a medium sized girl who is naturally pretty and has a bit of class is nigh unto impossible.”

The lack of quality isn’t just limited to high school...

[Chickensoup]

The lack of quality isn’t just limited to high school...

_____________________________

You are right. The other day I said to my son (17) are you looking for a GF? He said, I cannot afford a GF. I said what do you mean? You earn enough pocket money to gas your car, to grab a meal, to go to the films.

He said, You dont understand. I can’t afford the presents. What presents? I asked.

Mom if you go out with a girl, she expects presents, expensive ones. Like an IPOD, or a expensive piece of jewelry, or a dress, or pay her cellsphone bill or....and he continued to name items in the one to three hundred dollar range.

I was appalled. I told him that when I dated at his age, no young woman would ever think of accepting such a gift, because she would feel obliged to show more affection than would be proper.

I guess this is girl-payback for all the “free” sex. Our children are prostitues.
I cannot believe

[skinkinthegrass]

"appalled...can't believe"based on my experience..their expectations, been that way since mid '80s. :-(
it's called, "ultra-modern lifestyle".

[Chickensoup]

I married again in the early eighties. I guess I missed all the goodies.

Sad situaion. High school girls expecting gifts. I cannot believe it.

[Chickensoup]

I actually think I am going to recommend that my son look overseas, perhaps Phillipines? Chinese? Indian? Attractive classy gals who want to be homemakers, and look nice.

[skinkinthegrass]

and probably better educated & expect a better America. :-)

[thecodont]

Your son can afford a nice girlfriend.

He just can’t afford a mistress. :0)

[Impy]

Porn has reduced rape.

[GOPsterinMA]

For real?

[Impy]

I don’t know for sure but I’d figure on that.

Despite Law and Order SVU saying rape “isn’t about sex” it in fact is, at least most of the time.

And if douchebag potential rapist can just watch porn I’d figure he’s less likely to bother to go out and find a woman to rape rather than more likely as anti-porn activists say.