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Canada Bracing for Massive Influx of Wisconsin Boat People
The Borowitz Report ^ | June 5, 2012 | Andy Borowitz

Posted on 06/07/2012 1:32:08 PM PDT by Da Bilge Troll

OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report) – The Canadian coast guard was on alert today, preparing for what it fears could be a massive invasion of boat people from Wisconsin.

Conor McGlindon, commander of the Royal Canadian Mounted Coast Guard (RCMCG), said that satellite photos had revealed a “substantial flotilla” in the making, as Wisconsinites prepared to flee their state for their neighbor to the North.

“Word has gotten around that we have policemen, firemen, and basic school lunches up here,” Mr. McGlindon said. “You can’t blame these boat people for seeking a better life. But we are under orders to intercept them.”

In Canada, officials fear that refugees from Wisconsin will brave the treacherous journey across Lake Superior in the hopes of giving birth to so-called “anchor babies” on Canadian soil.

Mr. McGlindon offered reporters a look at satellite photos showing the boat people larding their vessels with wheels of premium cheddar cheese, possibly in the hopes of bribing Canadian officials on Superior’s northern shore.

“We are telling all of our men that under no circumstances should they accept offerings of cheese,” he said. ”These boat people are desperate and they will try anything.”

Reports of the looming refugee crisis coincided with the release of a new poll showing that Gov. Scott Walker is now the most hated man in Wisconsin, narrowly edging Brett Favre.

Speaking at the state capitol, Gov. Walker seemed philosophical about his legacy: “I’m not worried how history will remember me, because if I have my way there won’t be any history teachers.”


TOPICS: Canada; Editorial; Political Humor/Cartoons; US: Wisconsin
KEYWORDS: boatpeople; recall; scottwalker; wisconsin
They should watch out for exploding heads, too!
1 posted on 06/07/2012 1:32:22 PM PDT by Da Bilge Troll
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To: Da Bilge Troll
Bon Voyage.
2 posted on 06/07/2012 1:35:49 PM PDT by July4 (Remember the price paid for your freedom.)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

LOL!


3 posted on 06/07/2012 1:36:01 PM PDT by liberty or death
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To: July4

Send them back where they came from!

Shoot, if necessary.


4 posted on 06/07/2012 1:40:31 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

” Gov. Scott Walker is now the most hated man in Wisconsin, narrowly edging Brett Favre. “

LOL!!


5 posted on 06/07/2012 1:41:09 PM PDT by stephenjohnbanker (God, family, country, mom, apple pie, the girl next door and a Ford F250 to pull my boat.)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

All the freeloaders are rushing for Canada. Elsewhere in Montreal and Toronto people are lining up for US visa to get better jobs in NYC, Chicago and SF.


6 posted on 06/07/2012 1:41:08 PM PDT by ravager
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To: Da Bilge Troll
And out of the lake Superior fog a ship looms, turrets swinging around....

Photobucket
7 posted on 06/07/2012 1:44:47 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: Da Bilge Troll
“Word has gotten around that we have policemen, firemen, and basic school lunches up here,”

"... accompanied by the vast national debt necessary to supply those things. The handful of people who are working to provide the money for these programs will undoubtedly be overjoyed to hear that another horde of parasites is headed their way."

Meanwhile, back in Wisconsin, conservatives were jubilant that their taxes were going to drop because they had less dead weight to bear. Some were going so far as to charter buses to haul emigrants to the Canadian border.

8 posted on 06/07/2012 1:48:15 PM PDT by IronJack (=)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

I’d guess a “substantial flotilla” takes money. If someone can post a link I’d love to donate. Ideally we can get to where dozens of these flotillas are leaving every hour. And not just to Canada. I’m sure there are lots of people who’d love to leave Florida for the exceptional health care in Cuba. I’d be more than happy to help fund that also.


9 posted on 06/07/2012 1:49:14 PM PDT by LostPassword
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To: Da Bilge Troll

I’d be more worried about boat people coming up from Detroit on I-75 into Sault Ste. Marie.


10 posted on 06/07/2012 1:49:22 PM PDT by USMCPOP (Father of LCpl. Karl Linn, KIA 1/26/2005 Al Haqlaniyah, Iraq)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

Ironic, considering most people who are fleeing anywhere are fleeing the states and municipalities with the highest levels of “government services” and the accompanying tax rates that are supposed to be supporting those services.


11 posted on 06/07/2012 1:50:15 PM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter knows whom he's working for)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

At least they won’t be coming to Michigan. The group seeking to recall Rick Snyder announced they were dropping their bid today.


12 posted on 06/07/2012 1:52:32 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

They should turn the Wisconsin? boat people around and send them back to Illinois, as they probably are Illinois union transients bussed to Madison to vote for Barrett.


13 posted on 06/07/2012 1:55:03 PM PDT by OrioleFan (Republicans believe every day is July 4th, Democrats believe every day is April 15th.)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

I have the sense that some people way not be recognizing satire.


14 posted on 06/07/2012 1:56:43 PM PDT by Straight Vermonter (Posting from deep behind the Maple Curtain)
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To: Straight Vermonter

Just wishful thinking.


15 posted on 06/07/2012 1:57:59 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

Does Canada really want these freeloaders? If they do, I know lots more.


16 posted on 06/07/2012 2:00:10 PM PDT by skimask
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To: Straight Vermonter
I have the sense that some people way not be recognizing satire.

It's a thin line these days. Getting hard to tell satire from truth any more.

17 posted on 06/07/2012 2:03:08 PM PDT by SandyInSeattle (Running in circles and screaming is not a strategy.)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

Is this satire?


18 posted on 06/07/2012 2:07:47 PM PDT by editor-surveyor (Freepers: Not as smart as I'd hoped they were.)
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To: Da Bilge Troll
Reports of the looming refugee crisis coincided with the release of a new poll showing that Gov. Scott Walker is now the most hated man in Wisconsin, narrowly edging Brett Favre.

LOL!! Hated by the LOSERS, that is! HAHAHAHAAA!

If only this were true! LOAD UP EVERYONE FROM UW-MADISON AND SEND THEM AFLOAT!

19 posted on 06/07/2012 2:09:01 PM PDT by Ladysmith (The evil that's happening in this country is the cancer of socialism...It kills the human spirit.)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

Don’t let the oar hit you in the ass on the way out!


20 posted on 06/07/2012 2:12:51 PM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: July4
Reports of the looming refugee crisis coincided with the release of a new poll showing that Gov. Scott Walker is now the most hated man in Wisconsin, narrowly edging Brett Favre.

Well, based on the recall results, maybe not so much...pouty losers...

21 posted on 06/07/2012 2:14:32 PM PDT by Kenton
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To: Da Bilge Troll

.... LOL ...... Royal Canadian Mounted Coast Guard!!!! Now THAT’S funny!


22 posted on 06/07/2012 2:17:56 PM PDT by R_Kangel ( "A Nation of Sheep ..... Will Beget ..... a Nation Ruled by Wolves.")
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To: liberty or death

Governor Walker cannot be too hated-—He won the election. The author of the article shold not be named Borowitz but Borowitless.

Liberals are such braying Asses.


23 posted on 06/07/2012 2:19:33 PM PDT by TFMcGuire (Liberalism Is Hatred)
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To: IronJack

That’s funny.

We have more than our share of freeloaders up here, so, thanks, but no thanks. I can barely support the millions of “dependents” I already have, nor can I claim them on my income tax papers.

Let me know when the bus is scheduled. After it drops off the Wisconsin union mobs and democrats, it can pick me up!


24 posted on 06/07/2012 2:19:33 PM PDT by JudyinCanada
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To: John Semmens

Have you been teaching a night class in creative satire? One of you students is on the loose.


25 posted on 06/07/2012 2:20:55 PM PDT by KC Burke (Plain Conservative opinions and common sense correction for thirteen years.)
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To: MrB
Ironic, considering most people who are fleeing anywhere are fleeing the states and municipalities with the highest levels of “government services” and the accompanying tax rates that are supposed to be supporting those services.

Which brings up a good point...true, producers are fleeing to producer-friendly states. It would follow that the leeches would flee to leech-friendly states...??

26 posted on 06/07/2012 2:24:36 PM PDT by randog (Tap into America!)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

If there are like lake gates?.....they should be slammed behind their butts so they can’t come back! ROFL!


27 posted on 06/07/2012 2:30:59 PM PDT by LUV W (This space reserved for heroes)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

They tried to build an underground railroad to ferry escaped liberals into Canada, but it was beset by labor problems and went into bankruptcy.


28 posted on 06/07/2012 2:43:03 PM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: USMCPOP

God bless you Pop. I’m very sorry you lost your hero Marine son. Semper fi from a former soldier.


29 posted on 06/07/2012 2:51:18 PM PDT by HenpeckedCon (What pi$$es me off the most is that POS commie will get a State Funeral!)
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To: Da Bilge Troll

There were some teachers on Facebook (not my friends, but a frind’s friends) talking very seriously about moving to Canada. I wish them luck, and a speedy voyage!


30 posted on 06/07/2012 3:28:43 PM PDT by Ellendra ("It's astounding how often people mistake their own stupidity for a lack of fairness." --Thunt)
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