Posted on 06/07/2012 1:32:08 PM PDT by Da Bilge Troll
OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report) – The Canadian coast guard was on alert today, preparing for what it fears could be a massive invasion of boat people from Wisconsin.
Conor McGlindon, commander of the Royal Canadian Mounted Coast Guard (RCMCG), said that satellite photos had revealed a “substantial flotilla” in the making, as Wisconsinites prepared to flee their state for their neighbor to the North.
“Word has gotten around that we have policemen, firemen, and basic school lunches up here,” Mr. McGlindon said. “You can’t blame these boat people for seeking a better life. But we are under orders to intercept them.”
In Canada, officials fear that refugees from Wisconsin will brave the treacherous journey across Lake Superior in the hopes of giving birth to so-called “anchor babies” on Canadian soil.
Mr. McGlindon offered reporters a look at satellite photos showing the boat people larding their vessels with wheels of premium cheddar cheese, possibly in the hopes of bribing Canadian officials on Superior’s northern shore.
“We are telling all of our men that under no circumstances should they accept offerings of cheese,” he said. ”These boat people are desperate and they will try anything.”
Reports of the looming refugee crisis coincided with the release of a new poll showing that Gov. Scott Walker is now the most hated man in Wisconsin, narrowly edging Brett Favre.
Speaking at the state capitol, Gov. Walker seemed philosophical about his legacy: “I’m not worried how history will remember me, because if I have my way there won’t be any history teachers.”
LOL!
Send them back where they came from!
Shoot, if necessary.
” Gov. Scott Walker is now the most hated man in Wisconsin, narrowly edging Brett Favre. “
LOL!!
All the freeloaders are rushing for Canada. Elsewhere in Montreal and Toronto people are lining up for US visa to get better jobs in NYC, Chicago and SF.
"... accompanied by the vast national debt necessary to supply those things. The handful of people who are working to provide the money for these programs will undoubtedly be overjoyed to hear that another horde of parasites is headed their way."
Meanwhile, back in Wisconsin, conservatives were jubilant that their taxes were going to drop because they had less dead weight to bear. Some were going so far as to charter buses to haul emigrants to the Canadian border.
I’d guess a “substantial flotilla” takes money. If someone can post a link I’d love to donate. Ideally we can get to where dozens of these flotillas are leaving every hour. And not just to Canada. I’m sure there are lots of people who’d love to leave Florida for the exceptional health care in Cuba. I’d be more than happy to help fund that also.
I’d be more worried about boat people coming up from Detroit on I-75 into Sault Ste. Marie.
Ironic, considering most people who are fleeing anywhere are fleeing the states and municipalities with the highest levels of “government services” and the accompanying tax rates that are supposed to be supporting those services.
At least they won’t be coming to Michigan. The group seeking to recall Rick Snyder announced they were dropping their bid today.
They should turn the Wisconsin? boat people around and send them back to Illinois, as they probably are Illinois union transients bussed to Madison to vote for Barrett.
I have the sense that some people way not be recognizing satire.
Just wishful thinking.
Does Canada really want these freeloaders? If they do, I know lots more.
It's a thin line these days. Getting hard to tell satire from truth any more.
Is this satire?
LOL!! Hated by the LOSERS, that is! HAHAHAHAAA!
If only this were true! LOAD UP EVERYONE FROM UW-MADISON AND SEND THEM AFLOAT!
Don’t let the oar hit you in the ass on the way out!
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