Skip to comments.TERROR in SEATTLE: Gang of violent LEPRECHAUNS on the loose
Posted on 06/22/2012 10:39:31 AM PDT by null and void
Delays to Windows 8 feared as bearded rampage continues
Seattle is expected to go into lockdown this weekend, as fears grow that a gang of rogue leprechauns is on the loose and attacking locals.
Komonews.com reports that police were called to reports of a street fight  last Saturday. When they arrived they saw a number of people run from the scene, before finding a man "covered in blood and holding his head and screaming in pain".
When asked what had happened to him, the distressed victim said "It was a bunch of leprechauns."
The diminutive Irish expatriates had allegedly become enraged because the man was dancing with a girl.
The victim was unable to provide any further distinguishing information about the violent gang, except that one of them was wearing "a white tank top".
After delivering this vital piece of information, the victim was taken to Harborview medical centre with "multiple head injuries and cuts and bruises on his face, back, knuckles and elbows".
The story has now gone viral, putting the fear of God into Seattle, and quite possibly holding up development on Windows 8.
However, it is entirely possible that the case is entirely one of mistaken identity, and El Reg thinks it can point out the real culprits.
Consider the evidence. First of all, leprechauns are supposed to be solitary creatures, wearing beards, hats and coats. Secondly, unlike their larger countrymen they are not renowned for traveling, preferring to stay close to their cobbling clientele and mythical crocks of gold, typically located at the end of a rainbow, somewhere in Ireland.
The Seattle victim in question was assaulted by a gang, at least one of whom was wearing a white tank top. And, as for motive, the gang was enraged when the victim danced with a certain girl.
So, clearly the police should be hunting down a known gang from Southern California, who go by the street names of of Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sneezy, Grumpy, Sleepy, and Dopey. ®
(Little Green Men)
LOL the last line floored me !!!!
Beware of bearded men with burning eyes....
So are we now supposed to use Leprechauns in place of the usual Amish euphemism? Or only when they’re wearing tank tops instead of hoodies.
It just goes to show that when you have costumed, crime-fighting heroes in a city, you attract costumed criminals.
“Investigators identified nine people dressed in costume going around Seattle after dark. A police source said the characters go by Thorn, Buster Doe, Green Reaper, Gemini, No Name, Catastrophe, Thunder 88, Penelope and Phoenix Jones the Guardian of Seattle.
But don’t listen to Captain Ozone or Knight Owl, police were told. They’re apparently not part of the group.”
I always wondered why the Joker or Captain Cold always bothered Gotham City and Central City instead of Denver or Atlanta.
“It was a bunch of leprechauns.”
When attacked by leprechauns throw a bottle of whiskey to the side. When they make a dive for it,....RUN!
By the way, if these are Magic Leprechauns, Superman would have problems with’em. You are better calling out Zantana, Dr. Fate or The Spectre against this kind.
What’s the real story behind this?
This sounds like the gang from the TV's "The Big Bang Theory" and their friends from the comic book store.
“They’re always stealin’ me lucky charms.”
Ping to my standard denial...
That’s what you said the last time, too.
And I’ve been very good at not cursing cattle and crops lately.
Sure an’ ye’ll swear to that on a quart of Jameson, me lad? Come over here an’ kiss the book, bedad, before I’m obliged to come over there an’ baptize ye wit’ me lucky shillelagh!
An’ may the good Lord hold ye in the palm of His hand.
While he’s APPLAUDING ye!
Truly I swear it, it weren’t me!