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TERROR in SEATTLE: Gang of violent LEPRECHAUNS on the loose
The Register ^ | 22nd June 2012 12:11 GMT | Joe Fay

Posted on 06/22/2012 10:39:31 AM PDT by null and void

Delays to Windows 8 feared as bearded rampage continues

Seattle is expected to go into lockdown this weekend, as fears grow that a gang of rogue leprechauns is on the loose and attacking locals.

Komonews.com reports that police were called to reports of a street fight [1] last Saturday. When they arrived they saw a number of people run from the scene, before finding a man "covered in blood and holding his head and screaming in pain".

When asked what had happened to him, the distressed victim said "It was a bunch of leprechauns."

The diminutive Irish expatriates had allegedly become enraged because the man was dancing with a girl.

The victim was unable to provide any further distinguishing information about the violent gang, except that one of them was wearing "a white tank top".

After delivering this vital piece of information, the victim was taken to Harborview medical centre with "multiple head injuries and cuts and bruises on his face, back, knuckles and elbows".

The story has now gone viral, putting the fear of God into Seattle, and quite possibly holding up development on Windows 8.

However, it is entirely possible that the case is entirely one of mistaken identity, and El Reg thinks it can point out the real culprits.

Consider the evidence. First of all, leprechauns are supposed to be solitary creatures, wearing beards, hats and coats. Secondly, unlike their larger countrymen they are not renowned for traveling, preferring to stay close to their cobbling clientele and mythical crocks of gold, typically located at the end of a rainbow, somewhere in Ireland.

The Seattle victim in question was assaulted by a gang, at least one of whom was wearing a white tank top. And, as for motive, the gang was enraged when the victim danced with a certain girl.

So, clearly the police should be hunting down a known gang from Southern California, who go by the street names of of Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sneezy, Grumpy, Sleepy, and Dopey. ®


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; US: Washington
KEYWORDS: napl; seattle
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To: Darksheare

I did it.
I’m glad I did it.

Given the chance, I’ll do it again just ‘cuz that’s the way I roll.

“Little Lugh O’Mander”


21 posted on 06/22/2012 1:30:21 PM PDT by Salamander (I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name.)
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To: katana; Salamander; Slings and Arrows
"So are we now supposed to use Leprechauns in place of the usual Amish euphemism?"

Euphemism? What euphemism?

We ought to park your unarmed butt in the middle of downtown Nappanee, Indiana on a hot summer night and see if you make it out, eh?



You're going to look pretty silly standing there with just your fists and wits when the buggy whips beak out.

22 posted on 06/22/2012 4:20:35 PM PDT by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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Break out ..... that’s BREAK out.

(Amish sabotaged my keyboard! They hate technology!)


23 posted on 06/22/2012 4:26:26 PM PDT by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: Darksheare

It’s never your fault Darks. :-)


24 posted on 06/22/2012 5:00:08 PM PDT by fanfan (.http://www.ontariolandowners.ca/index.php?p=1_50_Your-Rights)
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