Skip to comments.Coffins & Coffee: Starbucks to Open Inside Upstate Funeral Home
Posted on 07/12/2012 10:48:15 AM PDT by null and void
EASLEY, SC -- Those grieving the dearly departed at Robinson Funeral Home in Easley will soon have a little something extra to soothe the pain: a cup of Starbucks' joe.
The fourth-generation funeral home and crematory is adding a new section to its existing facilities which includes business offices, a chapel, and a special wing aptly named "Coffee Corner," where soon a Starbucks will open.
The owner, Chris Robinson, explains how coffee has always been part of the family business, saying his great-grandfather started the funeral home inside a main street general store, where people would gather and drink coffee.
Robinson, who's a bit worried people will get the wrong idea about the coffee shop, says it's simply one more service for people to choose, but one that's certainly not mandatory.
"You walk in the front, and it's off to the side," Robinson said. "It's not like it's right up front."
Robinson has hired staff to run the Starbucks franchise which will be open to the public, not just to those attending services.
Starbucks will install equipment and menus at the end of July, and Robinson expects the shop to open sometime in August.
If funeral-goers worry about not getting free cups of coffee at visitations and other services, fear not, the owner says.
"We'll still have the homemade Robinson coffee, too," he said.
The Robinson Starbucks will be the first in Easley, but because it's not a full-sized store, they're not allowed to put Starbucks' signage on the building's exterior as part of the agreement with the coffee giant.
I know about capitalism but this is beyond the pale. Anything sold at the funeral home should be done so outside of the funerary and peri-funerary observations, for decorum’s sake. If part of the package is to cater coffee to all visitors from Starbucks, then fine but Starbucks ought not to be selling at the funeral home.
more crematory for your coffee, sir?
It could be worse. Dark’s Wake-The-Dead coffee would put the funeral business out of business.
i bet people are just die-ing to get one of them coffees...
Because when I'm at a Funeral Home, the first thing I think of is a big steaming hot cup of Java.
i can see it now:
he: “hey! wanna get together over coffee?”
she: “Ok, sure”
he: “Great! meet me down to the funeral home!”
*shrug* it would be good for awake...
Will Starbucks introduce a new line of Consolation Coffee?
Those were tasty sprinkles on my latte. Oops, that was grandpa!
A line in the guestbook for the attendee’s latte order would be a nice touch.
Wow...There is some easy joke material in their re: cremation receptacles and coffee cans etc.
The Dude will not abide.
“...F’ing Walter...this is not about Vietnam...”
“That wasn’t Aunt Bertha! That was used coffee grounds!”
Taste to die for.
A killer coffee!
“WARNING - Not to be taken internally!” - Slings and Arrows
In 12 cup drip percolator pot, fill to 6 cup mark with water.
In filter, put 6 heaping scoops of coffee.
Medium roast works best, just make sure it’s a robust blend.
Found a maxwellhouse ‘medium roast’ that was rather anemic.
Put pinch of salt in filter, about as much as it would take to cover the surface of a dime with one even layer.
This keeps the coffee from tasting burned too quickly, it doesn’t age well brewed this way.
Brew, recirculate if need be, usually not.
Add sugar and dairy creamer.
Creamora and coffeemate are not recommended unless you like the heart racing that Ranger Pudding gives.
That, and the nondairy creamer will give you both a headache and a buzz with the coffee.
I usually put about 8 spoons of sugar in this stuff, it ends up being like Russian Kava, thick and sweet with that bitter overtone to it.
Oh, and I am NOT responsible for seeming demonic possession of the coffeepot, or the coffeepot ending up acting as if it has been damaged.
What? No Zombie Deer disclaimer?
A good dollop of Calgon is needed for that.
Starbucks “coffee”? I guess their proximity will be convenient if the establishment runs out of embalming fluid....
A guy did that in Albert Camus' novel The Stranger and he was guillotined for it. Well, he did kill someone in between, but since it was just an Algerian he wouldn't have been sentenced to death except for the cafe au lait at his mother's wake.
The Zombie Deer?
Oh, TOL is their keeper.
No disclaimer needed.
Only a matter of time before they open bars at funeral homes. Something about attending wakes always makes me want to drink heavily.
The zombie deer pretty much keep to the forest near our house. They’re too shy to wander out into the cornfields until the corn is high enough to hide them in their hunt for small animal brains.
They’re harmless. Usually. Okay, sometimes. Gak! All RIGHT, never. You dragged the truth out of me!